After referring to Tom Jordans reading voice, which can be heard on his podcast here, as almost "Hugh Grant like", and much earlier to poor Andy Francis as "sounding like a serial killer", it's only fair to bite the bullet and reveal some audio of this here humble writer.
There are audio performances existing of three Word Dogs readings, though none of them are here. The September 2009 reading of "Jimmy Boy" has a terrible recording. The first one - dating from January 2007 - is badly dated, and nasally. The best of the three is the "Match of the Day" recording (which also preserves Neil Williamsons joke "Oh no!" on hearing I was reading for posterity!) I don't have to hand just now.
So Daddy Kicked Doggy into the Fire it is! This poem became quite notorious back at uni, and I was often made to give mini-performances of it. It even, much to my surprise, got published all the way back in 2007 in an actual print poetry magazine: Amulet! Mandy kept threatening to get me to read it at Burns Night, though thankfully I have skipped that so far.
At the time I thought it was a Robert Louis Stevenson tribute. It turns out that Daddy Fell into the Duckpond was not actually Stevenson after all, but Alfred Noyes. So it's a tribute to a writer I didn't know I knew. How meta.
The Roald Dahl influences can also be seen from miles away.
I like it, because its short, and you can't quite hear the breathing issues.
Be warned though. An American once claimed you might be short changed here, for they couldn't understand a word! Apparently my Scottish accent is exceptionally thick.
So yeah, warnings and all that.