Since I've been asked by more than one person if WrestleMania this week is the best point to jump onboard the pro-wrestling bandwagon, here are my crib notes for outsiders on All You Need To Know (And Some Other Stuff Just For Fun).
Pre-show
1.
Cruiserweight Title Match
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Not much to say here tbh. Buddy Murphy won the
title in Australia. Tony Nese is a local.
2.
Womens Battle Royal
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Asuka should be doing so much more than this.
3.
Tag Title Match
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Revival are 80s throwbacks, very Arn Anderson.
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Curt Hawkins is on a massive winning streak, so
is teaming with former IC Champ and his childhood buddy Zack Ryder to try and
reverse that.
4.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
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2 SNL comedians in this
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Braun Strowman is a monster they don’t write for
properly 6 days out of 7.
WrestleMania 35
Non-match notes:
-
Alexa Bliss is a former Womens champion, now
injured.
-
You will know who Hulk Hogan is. His arena
reaction is still hurt by his racist comments that came to light in 2015.
-
Elias’s gimmick is relatively self explanatory.
-
John Cena was The Hogan of the company from 2005
to 2014. He started off doing a Vanilla Ice gimmick in 2002 when he was “promising
but forgotten rookie” before moving to Film Star/Main Event Cena in 2005.
1.
Universal Title Match
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Brock Lesnar is the MMA guy, the man who ended
Undertakers undefeated WrestleMania match run, and who has held the Universal
title all bar 2 months of the last 2 years. He is fond of the quick squash match
on opponents.
-
Seth Rollins was 1/3rd of The Shield,
a very popular act with Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose. Then he turned villain
on them to follow the McMahon main event money. A long World title reign
followed, ended by injury. Blood feuds with Ambrose and Reigns. Eventually the
McMahons turned on him, as they do, and he spent a long time trying to repent
for his villainous actions, with his Shield brethren finally forgiving him in
2017. 2018 had Rollins rebuild himself as a never say die Bret Hart type with a
lengthy IC title reign. Cue Reigns battle with cancer, Ambrose’s failed villain
turn and leaving the company, and Rollins was left the one man who could
challenge Brock Lesnar.
2.
Randy Orton v AJ Styles
-
Randy Orton is a 17 year veteran with multiple
WrestleMania main events, 2 Royal Rumble victories, and a dozen World title
reigns to his name. And yet, there is a credible case that he has under-performed his career, as demons and injuries KO’d a significant period of
time, and even today, the difference in performance between Motivated Orton and
Can’t Be Arsed Orton is night and day.
-
AJ Styles was the greatest active wrestler never
to wrestle for WWE, loyal to upstarts TNA from 2002 until his unceremonious
sacking (he refused a circa 60% paycut) in December 2013. Then he joined WWE in
2016, and has since proven he is one of the all time greats. Now in the
twilight of his career but having clocked up 16 months as WWE Champion in the
last 2 ½ years, there is an increasing sense of “if only he’d come to the WWE
5-10 years earlier”…
3.
Smackdown Tag Titles
-
Usos have been around since 2010 and are one of
the most decorated tag teams in history.
-
The Bar are Swiss star Cesaro and former World
Champ Sheamus.
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Nakamura and Rusev are two underpushed upper
midcarders chucked together.
-
Aleistar Black and Ricochet are two newcomers to
the WWE. This is a showcase spot for them.
4.
Shane McMahon v The Miz
-
Shane is the bosses son and thinks hes got the
punches of Muhammad Ali, the stamina of Messi, the wrestling talent of Ric
Flair, and so on. In reality, hes a pudgy near-50 year old non-wrestler taking
up a spot from the actual performers.
-
The Miz was a reality TV star turned reality
star wrestler turned wrestling champion turned veteran. He is either the prime example
of success through perseverance and thus the most underrated guy on the roster,
or not… Marmite to fans.
5.
Womens Tag Titles
-
Sasha Banks and Bayley are 2 of the Four
Horsewomen (see also Charlotte and Becky) who changed perspectives on womens
wrestling in the WWE. They are the first ever Womens Tag champs… well, since
1988, anyway. Sasha is the cousin of Snoop Dogg. Both her and kid favourite
Bayley were seen as the future once, but both have been derailed by bad writing
and being used to put over weaker wrestlers.
-
Natalya is Jim The Anvil Neidhart’s daughter. A
villain as recently as 2017, since Neidharts death last summer, ain’t nobody
booing her. Beth Phoenix was the greatest womens wrestler in the company back in
2006-11 when she was left to try and make lingerie models look competitive. This
is a rare comeback match from her.
-
Nia Jax is related to The Rock. Tamina is the
daughter of Jimmy Snuka.
-
The Iiconics are an Australian duo with shades
of Team Rocket about them. Peyton Royce is the talented wrestler of the duo.
Billie Kay is the Scrappy Doo, often getting into scrapes declaring “My friend
Peyton’s gonna kick your arse!”, often followed by “Peyton! Help!” And thus
Peyton has to rush into save her friend. (Storyline aside, both are fine
wrestlers.) Between their OTT interviews, heavily hinted lesbian undertones,
and camp double takes that have been known to make hardened veterans of the
ring corpse with laughter, the duo are gaining a swift fan base.
6.
WWE Championship
-
Daniel Bryan is the greatest active wrestler in
the world. He can be the greatest villain or hero as need be, and has overcome
a seemingly career ending injury to have a renaissance and the best WWE title
run in years.
-
Kofi Kingston is a very popular ever present,
who debuted in 2007, and has won every title except a World title.
-
The New Day were founded in 2014, and have the
longest Tag Title Reign in WWE history. When formed, Xavier Woods was asked what
his long term wrestling goals were. “Help Kofi Kingston win the WWE title!”
-
Fans are still salty about an aborted Kingston
main event push in 2010, which ended prematurely due to backstage politics. A
decade is a long time to cement a “held back by the system” underdog.
7.
US Title
-
Rey Mysterio is the last standing WCW
Cruiserweight from back in the day, and a Mexican wrestling legend.
-
Samoa Joe was a killing machine for years, but
came to the WWE late in his career, like Vader in the 1990s. And just like
Vader, hes spent his WWE career losing high profile matches all the time, to
the point his former unbeatable monster aura hasn’t been around for a while.
8.
Roman Reigns v Drew McIntyre
-
Roman Reigns was the most pushed wrestler in the
company from 2014 on. Main evented 4 WrestleManias in a row. Fan backlash
against him… until October 2018 when he had to vacate the World title,
announcing he had cancer. Luckily, it was one of the more treatable leukaemia’s,
and Reigns and chemo trounced it like it was Darth Vadr taking on some
redshirts. This is Roman Reigns comeback singles match since announcing he was
in remission.
-
Drew McIntyre is a Scottish wrestler who is popular
across the world… except for WWE rings where he gets crickets.
9.
Batista v Triple H
-
Batista is the guy from Bond, Guardians of the
Galaxy, etc. Former multi-time World Champion, and walking meme creator.
-
Triple H is a 14 time WWE Champion, now married
to Stephanie McMahon (Vince’s daughter), and a leading executive in the WWE.
Held every title in the company, in charge of NXT, and fond of long Harley Race
style matches. These worked far better when he wasn’t 50.
10.
Kurt Angle v Baron Corbin
-
Kurt Angle is one of the most decorated
wrestlers in history, amateur and pro. Olympic Gold Medalist. Quickest learning
pro-wrestling rookie I’ve ever seen. 5 time WWE Champion, and multi-time World
Champion across the world in a decade long, demons inspired hiatus from WWE.
Returned in 2017 to join the Hall of Fame, and have a farewell tour in the
ring, but a shadow of his earlier self after 5 neck injuries, cancer and a long
period of alcoholism. This is his farewell match.
-
Baron Corbin is a big man who keep getting
pushed on the basis of a finishing move. His main event run in 2018 crashed the
TV ratings for RAW, until Vince McMahon actually apologised for it on live TV.
11.
IC Title Match
-
Balor is an Irish wrestler very popular with the
fans who won the World title in his first month on RAW, only to suffer a severe
injury which derailed his career significantly.
-
Bobby Lashley was to be The Next Big Thing in
wrestling back in 2007, only to quit in a huff. Returned in 2018, but never
going to get that momentum back.
-
Balor’s Demon Gimmick is Irish mythology based.
Basically, on his own, he can beat most guys, but when he puts on the face
paint, he gets turbo powers. Think of it like Bruce Wayne/Batman.
12.
Womens Title Unification Match
-
Ronda Rousey is ex MMA, movie star. You might
have heard of her. She beat Alexa Bliss for the RAW Womens Title at Summerslam
2018 and is undefeated in pro-wrestling.
-
Charlotte Flair is Ric’s daughter, a 7 time
Women’s champ, and most pushed woman in the company for last three years.
-
Becky Lynch is the most popular wrestler on the
roster. She won the Royal Rumble for this spot. Also, despite being more
popular with fans than Charlotte, had seemed to be on the backburner instead.
So, last August, when the WWE decided to have Charlotte win the title yet
again, screwing over Becky, the WWE hoped to turn Becky Lynch heel over that.
Instead, when Lynch KO’d Flair, the arena erupted in a standing ovation. And
she’s been a supernova since. Lynch’s nickname is The Man, because she beat the
Flair Dynasty to win the title. “To be The Man, you have to beat The Man” being
Ric Flair’s catchphrase as dominant World Champion of the 1980s.
-
Becky Lynch had a match set with Rousey at
Survivor Series, but after beating up Rousey, Nia Jax managed to injure Lynch.
Charlotte took Lynchs spot at Survivor Series (of course) and “nearly crippled”
(storyline!) Ronda Rousey.
-
Rousey then showed up at the December PPV and
cost both Charlotte and Becky the Smackdown Womens Title.
-
Becky Lynch won the Womens Royal Rumble for this
spot, defeating Charlotte Flair. However, Vince McMahon suspended Becky for
being a rebel with a cause, and inserted Charlotte into the match instead. Because
Charlotte. Becky won her way back into
the match, hence Triple Threat. Charlotte beat Asuka for the Smackdown Womens
Title 10 days ago – because Charlotte! – hence both belts being on the line.
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