Thursday 24 September 2020

Way of the Wicked (2014)

In the 1970s, Gregory Peck, David Warner and Patrick Troughton tried to stop the anti-Christ being unleashed on the world, but failed. Mostly thanks to the terrifying Billie Whitelaw.

In 2014, Vinnie Jones tries to stop his daughter's boyfriend being unleashed on the world.

Hell of a recession, that.



This has a defrocked priest. Strange did that well, with Richard Coyle. Here we have Christian Slater, walking around in priest frocks and quoting Bible at everyone.

Vinnie Jones is a dad.

Emily Tennant is a daughter.

Wiki-less Jake Croker is... a boy who scares away bullies, and falls for the daughter. He also seems to make people die via bloody seizures, which is an easier screen effect to do than impaling the 2nd Doctor.

Jake From No Wiki might be The Anti-Christ, but Daughter doesn't care as she's quite happy with the whole sex life and boyfriend, even if he is Satanical.

In the 1970s, it was life and death between Gregory Peck and the forces of evil. In 2014, Vinnie Jones goes "Aww jeez" a lot and looks like hes smelt a bad fart.

The production team asked the great Rutger Hauer to appear in this film, but he took one look at it and decided it wasn't worth the effort. Rutger Hauer is a hard man to replace. They replaced him with Vinnie Jones.

Horrornews(dot)net called this one of the "better horror movies they had seen recently", which just goes to show how ¤¤¤¤e the films they were watching in 2014 were.

In the end, Vinnie Jones has a tap in. A gun to the head of the Anti-Christ.

And in the end, instead of watching The Way of the Wicked (2014), I suggest you just watch The Omen instead.

Oh, incidentally, if you think I keep referencing The Omen...

No, Vinnie Jones's character IS too thick to realise his daughter is actually the Anti-Christ. Gregory Peck, he ain't.

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