Europa League Round 4

Scottish Rarebit.

Yeah, let’s get this out of the way. Spurs won 5-0 against a dispirited Hearts at Tynecastle, and a 0-0 draw was enough in England to seal passage. Rangers suffered a narrow 2-1 loss in Slovenia against Maribor, who later decided to complain, hoping to get a 3-0 win. The reason? Carlos Bocanegra had played in the first leg, and Maribor decided, after he was unable to play in a SPL match that weekend, to complain against his eligibility. Thankfully, Rangers had had UEFA dispensation to play him, so avoid being kicked out. They celebrated this by drawing 1-1 in Glasgow, and going out anyway.

Celtic v Sion was complicated. Celtic drew the home tie 0-0 and lost 3-1 away. But they lost the away tie partly down to having their eye completely off the ball. The whole thing was a farce. Sion had signed a few players – including Fiendouno – during a period which FIFA believed Sion were under a transfer ban. However, Sion believed they had already served their ban. So, Sion were warned before the draw not to play certain players in their Playoff round, as they were already in deep trouble and this would make it worse. Come the home tie with Celtic, they played all of the players in question, in a clear sign of dissent. Then they won, so Sion were in the EL group.
Or not. For after waiting far too long to make a move, UEFA decided that Sion were to be thrown out of the EL as they had said weeks earlier, but too late for the draw, as Celtic, a nominal 2nd seed, wound up 4th seeds, which leaves them in an unfortunate situation in the groups. Which, of course, they could have avoided by just winning the bloody tie in the first place. But where’s the Scottish appeal in that?

But now, it’s not over. Sion had a regional court on their side. This is a big NO NO in FIFA/UEFA talk, they hate government interference in the game, because it threatens their authority. The only court both organisations are willing to talk to is the CAS. However, the regional court have demanded Sion’s re-admittance into the EL. Christian Constantin, the President of Sion, has launched a criminal complaint against Platini and UEFA in the Swiss courts. What started as a messy problem has become a potentially explosive one, as one football club, one irate club President, and a few judges in the Swiss league system seem determined to take on UEFA and FIFA, who, as you may know, are stituated in Switzerland. It’s almost an unwinnable fight, because the situation of UEFA losing would change football forever.

Watch this space, as they say!


**

Maccabi Tel Aviv v Panathinaikos


Maccabi’s return to Europe last season including an embarrassing defeat for Olympiakos, Pana’s eternal rivals. Now, they took on a Panathinaikos in turmoil after their early exit from the Champions League. The first leg in Israel saw many people missing the target, and not much happened until the hour had appeared. Before that, we saw some great saves, most from the Greek goalkeeper.


A save from a point blank header which he managed to loop over the bar was a particular highlight. For all the saves Tzorvas the Pana keeper had made, he utterly blew it on the hour though, as he fumbled a shot, allowing Konate to make sure the shot went into the net. The Greeks were stunned, and Maccabi Tel Aviv bombed forward – it was swiftly becoming the Israelis vs the goalkeeper, who atoned for his errors with some more high class saves.

The Pana defence was panicking though, and it was Boumsong who handled needlessly in the box, allowing Atar’s cool finish for 2-0 from the penalty spot. A moment of controversy followed as a header from Pana seemed to cross the line before the keeper fumbled it away. No goal given, and then Tel Aviv scored a third. The Greeks lacked confidence and it showed. Maccabi Tel Aviv played with nothing to lose, and won 3-0. A tall ask for the second leg.


Pana needed a miracle in the second leg. Four minutes, there was a substantial break in play, after some of the Greek fans set fire to parts of their own stadium. When play resumed, Medunjanin went close with a corner for the Israelis. Pana dominated with some harried chances, but never came close to breaking the deadlock at this point. It was from a Pana free kick that the goal was given away.

The Israelis got the ball, and a long ball up the pitch completely caught the Greek defence out. A swift pass to Medunjanin, and his precise shot from outside the box went in the net. 0-1 Maccabi, practically game over on the hour. Goals can happen in an instance, and this was an instance that killed off a European tie. Pana won on the night, a Boumsong curling header and a Toche goal sandwiching Konate’s red card for a rash kick to the head. But the job was done, and Maccabi Tel Aviv were back in the group stages after a lengthy absence.

As for Panathinaikos, well, they are meant to be one of the big European teams, but their performances lately have been anything but. They need to regroup and focus.


**


Rosenborg v AEK LArnaca

In the first leg, in Norway, nothing happened. So it was 0-0 going to Cyprus. As promised, I predicted nothing but convincing Rosenborg victory.

Van Dijk scored two penalties in either half, and Henriksen answered to make it 2-1. I’d like to claim it was nervous, or in doubt, but it never was. Larnaca could have had a 3rd goal, but it was ruled offside, for reasons I still maintain were wrong. Mind you, this is the Togo/Cameroon incident all over again, and in that game, the goal actually stood.

So AEK Larnaca qualified for the group stage for the first time ever. And they did it with ease. Thumped the Maltese, thumped the former Czech champions, and although the score line doesn’t reflect, essentially they thumped Rosenborg too. Not bad for a provincial unfancied Cypriot side eh?

They’ll still be thumped in the group stage though. 0-0-6, with 0-40 goal difference.

I keep my promises.

**

Atletico Madrid wiped the floor with Guimaraes, winning 2-0 at home and 4-0 away. Not much victory there.

Sochaux looked to have a good chance after a 0-0 in Ukraine. Sadly, it was a false dawn, as Metalist Kharkiv showed no mercy in France, winning 4-0.

A 3-0 win in Turkey saw Besiktas through, but Alania, conquerors of Aktobe, made them sweat in Russia, with a 2-0 win that was a miss or two from forcing extra time.

The problems in Greece did in fact led to the expulsion of Olympiakos Volos. So Differdange of Luxembourg got a spot back in the tournament, and promptly went out 6-0 to Paris St Germain. Yeah, we didn’t want a bye for the French, but this was as good as.

Ekranas got a 1-0 win over a tired Hapoel Tel Aviv in Lithuania, and had hoped for an upset, but the comfortable 4-0 win for the Israelis back home saw them off.

PAOK comfortably saw off Karpaty, 3-1 on aggregate. PAOK produce some good results in Europe at times, time will tell if this is another glory season for them.

Trabzonspor got a 0-0 draw in Bilbao in the first leg. Then Fenerbahce got thrown out of the Champions League for match fixing, and Trabzonspor as the runners up in the Turkish league, got a dream ticket to the Champions League. As for Athletic Bilbao, now managed by former Chile and Argentina manager Bielsa, they had a bye into the group stage.

Steaua performed most un-Steaua like, 2-0 home and 1-1 away to CSKA Sofia seeing the Romanians ease through.

Nordsjaelland continued the long tradition of Danish clubs against Portuguese clubs in Europe, losing 2-1 in Portugual and exiting the competition to Sporting Clube.

Ried, those idiots of Round 3, drew in Austria against European big names PSV. PSV then won the home tie 5-0.

Trnava got a shock in the last round against Levski Sofia, but were no match for the railwaymen, as Lokomotiv Moscow eased into the group stage.

It was also the end of the road for Slask Wroclaw, who had seen off Dundee United and Lokomotiv Sofia, but were no match for Rapid Bucharest. Similarly, Litets took on Dynamo Kiev and lost.

You may recall my love of Rabotnicki, the Macedonian Arsenal. Yeah, well, they took on Lazio. Lazio won 9-1. Moving swiftly on...

**

Shamrock Rovers v Partizan Belgrade


Shamrock are Irish. Yes, I know, there’s no way you could have possibly worked that out. You were sitting in the dark, saying “I wonder where they came from? What do Shamrocks signify again?” until I let you in on that little secret. Jeez, a tough crowd tonight.

Partizan are the 2nd biggest team in Serbia historically, though they are the most successful in Europe in recent times. Which, isn’t really saying much, I’m afraid. Serbian football is not living up to any kind of a reputation at the moment.

OK, Partizan haven’t quite hit the lows of being Knocked Out by a Liechteinsteinian club, but they had gone some time before threatening to challenge in Europe the other side of Christmas. They are the type of team which challenges people in the Playoff rounds, then packs their bags for summer holidays in the group stages. Incredibly annoying.

Even so, they were the odds on favourites to qualify here. An Irish side has never made the group stages before. They had some good performances, from St Patricks and from Shelbourne, notably, but never made that final hurdle. They need a good performance in the first leg, at the Tallaght in Dublin.

However the opening was all Partizan, who wasted several shots, and it came as no surprise when Tomic opened the scoring for the Serbians, barely 15 minutes in. The ball came to Tomic on the edge of the area, and his mishit sliced into the net. The “most predictable score of the round”, I’d said. They’d managed to sell the Irish defence a complete dummy on the attack too.

It rapidly became quite a scrappy match, the ball bouncing from team to team, no real quality on display. Shamrock huffed and puffed but Partizan had more and more chances they wasted to put the game beyond doubt. Suddenly, with ten minutes to go, the ball acting more like a game of Pong, McCabe and Twigg produced a moment of genius.

Twigg had the ball, passed it to McCabe, who went round one defender, passed it back to Twigg, Twigg shot it between the defenders and McCabe fired it home in the same move. Through quick passing, the two men suddenly cut apart the Serbian team, and Shamrock had their equaliser! 1-1 it finished and a creditable draw for Shamrock’s sake, but Partizan had the all-important away goal to take back to Belgrade.


A dark but cloudless night, and a ruckus Serbian crowd, welcomed the Irish to Belgrade for the second leg. The bouncing hysteria of the Partizan crowds made the stadium more akin to a place of worship than a football stadium. And Shamrock were very lucky in the early going, as only a finger tipping save from Ryan Thompson prevented Partizan taking the lead.

It was only to be a mere first half reprieve, as a few minutes later, Tomic’s corner met Volkov’s head, into the back of the net, and Partizan led.


Shamrock needed to score now to force extra time, and very early in the second half, they gave Partizan a scare, as a Turner header glanced just wide of the net. Replays showed the Partizan keeper Illic was stranded and it was the post that saved his blushes. Shortly after, Partizan broke forward, Thompson dropped far too quickly, and Vukic had a complete open goal to tap the ball into. He only scuffed the ball over the net, when everyone else in the stadium could have scored. It was a miss so bad, that Ryan Giggs’ miss in the 2003 FA Cup match against Arsenal laughed at it. Should have been 2-0, dead and buried. Instead, a massive reprieve for the Rovers.

At this point, a large neon sign that shouted out “PIVOTAL MOMENT” at everyone didn’t descend from the heavens, but it really ought to have.

Shamrock felt like the fates were on their side, so swept forward. From a corner, the keeper Ilic knocked it back well beyond the box, all the way to Pat Sullivan the defender. If you think I’m going to say “he shot a looping unstoppable screamer from 30 yards out that looped over everyone in the box and landed with amazing precision in the top corner of the net” give yourself a pat on the back. That’s exactly what he did. The reaction was a mixture of “Did that just happen?”, “Holy shit! Great goal!” and “We’re back in this!”.

If Messi or any English player scored this one, we’d hear about it being the greatest goal of all time for ever.


Amazing moment to bring yourself back into a Cup-tie.

It got a bit scrappy after this, bookings and free kicks all over the shop. Partizan kept missing a whole flotilla of chances, each one looking more and more crucial.

Jovanovic in the 2nd half of extra time had a gilt edged chance he should have scored, but instead slipped it to the Irish keeper.

The killer moment came in the 2nd half of extra time, midway through. An error in the Serbian defence left the keeper Illic utterly stranded against two Irish players. Illic did brilliantly to make a world class save from Sives, but this only tipped it into the path of Sheppard. Illic then saved Sheppard’s shot, but in the process brought Sheppard crashing down in the box. Penalty, yellow card to the goalkeeper, and Ilic’s frustration was so real he punched the grass pitch in fury. O’Donnell calmly fired the ball into the net, and Shamrock led for the first time in the tie!


And, due to the away goals rule, which still exists in extra time, Partizan now needed two goals to stay in the tie. Ilic was a man scapegoated by the referee, but he had little blame for the goal, most of which has to fall on the Serbian defence which left their goalkeeper completely and utterly exposed. By now, tempers had risen, and Medo’s rash bundling over of Sheppard led to his second yellow and a red card. Partizan petered out, done in by the massive underdog effort.


Shamrock were in dreamland. Written off by everyone before hand, they knocked European regulars out with a humiliating win in Belgrade. Incredible performance and result, but they utterly deserved it.

**

Slovan Bratislava v Roma


The “Barceroma” experiment is in full effect. Roma were one of the favourites for this trophy, and had an easy opponent, so it seemed, in the qualifiers. The problem with easy qualifiers, is that sometimes they don’t believe they are that easy. And the Champions of Slovakia are never a side you can take easy. Just ask Celtic, still smarting from that infamous 5-0 defeat against Artmedia. Or Porto and Partizan, their other victims. Slovan had European heritage, Cup Winners Cup Winners in 1969, but little recently. Roma are one of the Seven Sisters of Italian football, who dominated European football for so long. Now Italian football is in a down time, but even then, Roma still had to have too much for the Slovaks.

A dull first leg game was livened up by Dobrotka’s only goal of the game, ten minutes from time. A good home win for Slovan. Into the second leg, Roma came out firing, and Perrotta’s early goal was no surprise. What was a surprise was Roma’s inability to carve out further chances. What was even bigger a surprise was Stepanovsky’s unexpected late away goal for the Bratislavans. What was an enormous shock was Slovan Bratislava’s final results, a cracking win over one of the favourites. Favoured for the crown, Roma were out in August!

Slovan 1-0 Roma
Roma 1-1 Slovan

**
Bursaspor v Anderlecht
AZ v Aalesund

You will swiftly see cruel European ties that arrive only to give that worst of emotions, false hope. Aalesund won at home against AZ. Would they go on to cement the place in the group stage their earlier efforts demanded. No, they lost heavily in Holland.

Anderlecht won 2-1 in Turkey, and drew the home leg 2-2.

**

Zestafoni v Club Brugge


Zestafoni had crashed out of the Champions League qualifiers, not in itself an unexpected event. In their short history, their best European result is beating Dukla Banska Bystrica of Slovakia, and last season was their first title in their short history.

Club Brugge had seen off Qarabag, purely to spite me, in the previous round. As one of the biggest clubs in Belgium, and former European Cup finalists, they are slightly better known on the football stage. In harsher times just now, as the Anderlecht/Club Brugge duopoly of last decade has been smashed in by Standard Liege and Genk.


Zestafoni took the game to their illustrious opposition though, and the Belgians were resorting to fouling to keep the game alive. Fifteen minutes in, a Zimling foul lead to an Aptsiauri free kick, but Sadjaia headed over when he had the whole net ready if only he could knock the ball to one of the many team mates in the box. Keeping the ball though, Gelashvili’s looping ball met a swift brutal save from Coosemans, the Brugge goalkeeper. The Georgians were in the ascendancy! There was controversy too, as Coosemans appeared to hack down the Georgian rushing in on the ball, but no penalty given.

Club Brugge felt like they had been given a massive let off (because they had), but the goal that was to follow was pure quality, as the Belgians passed the ball into the net. The last touch and the goal coming from Akpala. Harsh on the Georgians, but as usual in football, if you can’t take your chances, you’ll get punished!

Odjidja it was with the crucial assist, sliding the ball along the box to meet Akpala’s outstretched foot. To match further bad luck for the Georgians, there was a strong hint of offside about the goal. In fact, strong hint be damned. The footage clearly shows Objidja’s pass is made when Akpala was ahead of all the Georgian defence, clearly well offside. But the goal was given. One of the defenders has his hand up yelling “Offside” (or the Georgian equivalent) the entire time, and the Georgian commentator was very upset.


Oh to be a fan of a small team!


Zestafoni were upset, and swiftly saw yellow cards, needlessly, for Kobakhidze and Dvali. Dvali’s foul was particularly costly, as the ball was rapidly kicked up field, flicked into the middle, and Refaelov smashed it home! So in a game where they could have been 2-0 up, Zestafoni suddenly found themselves 2-0 down! Football, so effortlessly cruel.

The Georgians woke up early in the second half though. It was a Brugge chance that did it. A free kick not given for the Georgians, saw Refaelov’s chance saved by the Georgian keeper Kvaskhvadze, and Objidja, so dangerous, shot just wide of the net. A big let off for Zestafoni, and from that moment, they seemed to gain some determination and steel about their play. They also, possibly correctly, seemed to believe the referee had it in for them.


On the hour, drama! Zimling, who was forever getting in and about the Georgians, was penalised for a foul on Grigalashvili. The Georgian player, who is exactly one week older than me, hesitated over the free kick for what seemed an eternity, repositioning the ball and psyching himself up, before floating the ball into the box. The ball jigetted (a word good enough for AA Milne, so good enough for us) in the box and just out of, between both teams, before it landed at the feet of Gelashvili whose shot was one of those deflected toe-poke varieties which are so hard to defend.

Zestafoni had scored, they went absolutely nuts, and a crowd silenced by what they felt was an international conspiracy against them found their voices in the mad passion of goalscoring celebration. Of the three goals scored to that point, it was the ugliest, but the one which meant most to the stadium.

Zestafoni enjoyed this scoring lark, and bombed forward. Dvali had three defenders surrounding him on all moves, but still managed to force a throw in on the right of the pitch, equal to the box. Dvali, the wildfire in attack, was one of many Zestafoni players to look very good on the pitch in this match. This does not lead to the long pass/header/goal combo of Stoke fame that you might think I am building up to here. More a drop the ball to a player/long shot into the box/corner given combo.

The corner was a complete mess, leading to a Brugge throw in, but the mess Brugge made of their own throw in was worse, their attempts leading to Zestafoni grabbing the ball off them three times in quick succession! Gelashvili was blocked, so the ball fell to Dvali, who thought: “Oh why not, from 15 feet out I shall try and loop this ball so it smashes into the net leaving the keeper helpless, and I’ll do it in the same instance the ball is passed to me, so it’s as if I barely had a touch.” Then he did it. If Andy Gray saw it, he’d yell “WHAT A HIT, SON!” If Alan Partridge saw it, he’d yell “EAT MY GOAL!” I lack familiar catchphrases, so had to suffice with a “Bloody hell!”. There are goals from further out, and far better goals, but the accuracy, speed and skill in this one made it quite special. And it was the equaliser! 2-2! Dvali went nuts, the entire team and possibly country went nuts.
This was all Zestafoni now, and Club Brugge felt like they were in one of the earlier Hallowe’en films, and not as Dr Loomis either. They had their let off though, as Gelashvili’s diving shot almost went in but hit the bar and rolled over the net. So close.


Long time fans of this sport we call football might suspect the next bit of action to call was a killer Brugge goal. How cynical you all are! And right. Vasquez’s free kick led to Donk hitting the post, and then Hoefkens managed to get the ball in the net. I’ve been very nice about Zestafoni in this piece, deservedly so, but they need to take criticism here: there is no way in which that ball should have got into the net from that position. Disgraceful defending, and it put them in a position they didn’t deserve from the tie.

Zestafoni continued to chase the tie though. Tsinamdzgvrishvili, the substitute for the brilliant Dvali, had a shot saved off the line by Coosemans, making stats fans the world over grateful. Imagine Mark Lawrenson trying to pronounce that name! The chances kept coming though, the passing still slick. Aptsiauri, the Zestafoni captain, knocked the ball across the box, and the livewire Gelashvili slide the ball into the box, to spark WILD celebrations.


3-3 was how it stayed. A good performance from the Georgians, but it should have led to a win, and yet hadn’t.


In the second leg, barely 120 seconds into the tie, a Gorgiashvili header crashed off the bar and into Cooseman’s grateful hands. That was the moment for Zestafoni, and Akpala’s two smashing goals, both before the half hour, sealed the tie and killed off the Georgians. They had put in such a good effort, but Club Brugge’s luck, and killer instinct, was decisive.

**

Vorskla v Dinamo Bucharest


As I said before, when it comes to Dinamo Bucharest, they never do anything easy. A loss away in the Ukraine followed, Niculae’s away goal sandwiched by two from Vorskla. Still, not a bad defeat to take to Romania. In Bucharest, Vorskla scored through Januzi before Torje equalised. Into the second half, and late on Barrannik got an unexpected double for Vorskla, leaving Tucudean’s injury time goal for the Romanians irrelevant. Making things hard is one thing. Losing 2-1 and 3-2 over two legs to unknowns is another. Great result for Vorskla!

**

A tricky tie for Salzburg, who lost the first leg 2-1 in Cyprus against Omonia. Huff and puff deserted the Cypriots though, and a home win saw the Austrians qualify.

Vaslui dominated the first leg against Sparta Praha, scoring twice and could have had a bucket load more. In the second leg, Sparta couldn’t equal the deficit, so after many years of just missing out, Vaslui finally make the group stage!

Helsingborgs journey ended, as Standard Liege – a name familiar on Merseyside – comfortably won home and away to continue their European adventure, after an early and disappointing exit from the Champions League qualifiers.

AEK Athens got a narrow 1-0 lead to take to Georgia against Dinamo Tbilisi. Dinamo had equalled the task after 90 minutes, so extra time arrived, and late in the second half of that extra time, AEK Athens slipped one more goal in the net, as they escaped to the group stages by the skin of their teeth.

**
Braga v Young Boys

Both teams here were shock troops last season, but the luck of the draw meant only one could advance to the group stage. The other, so full of promise, was heading home. A 0-0 in Portugal, lead to a 2-2 in Switzerland, so it was Braga going through.

**

Legia Warsaw v Spartak Moscow


I don’t wish to give people undue praise or build up expectations unnecessarily, but it is fair to say that this was the best tie of the entire round. It also contained a bit of embarrassment for me on Bert Kassies’s board, which I am afraid, will stay with me for as long as I continue to post on that particular site.

The first leg was in Poland, and Legia had the lead before most people had sat down. Manu’s persistent run and cross swept across the box, two shots were had at the ball before Radovic slotted into the net. Legia continued to crash forward, but no further goals arrived ,and soon into the second half, they were to be punished for their laxness when Ari scored for Spartak. Radovic scored again, only for Ari to reply again. 2-2 in Poland, and on to the second leg in Russia.

There, Kombarov’s sliding shot, followed by Kombarov’s calm penalty, saw Spartak go 2-0 up early on. Then, I made my crucial gaff.

“2-0 Spartak. Tie dead and buried.”

To be fair, it did feel like that at the time!


The long ball, defender falling over, and shot in the net by Kucharczyk to make it 2-1 was good. Rybus, from the corner, with the looping 25 yarder into the net, shades of Ronaldinho vs England, was better. Gol’s deft header, which fell under the goalkeeper and into the net, in the 92nd minute, to win the tie, was better still.
So instead of the tie being dead and buried, Legia only came back and won it! Very well done to them, more shame for the Russian experts in bad European results.

**

Red Star v Rennes

Before the game I had this as a definite banana slip for Rennes. Crvena Zvezda/Red Star Belgrade/Estrella Roja/qirmizi Ulduz/Stella Rossa etc. You see, their name is Red Star translated into all the languages in the world. I often wondered why the English referred to former European Champions Crvena Zvezda as Red Star Belgrade. It’s a literal translation. D’oh!

Rennes then surprised everyone with a win in Belgrade followed by a convincing 4-0 home victory. How un-Renneslike!

**


Austria Wien v Gaz Metan

Yes, those underdog Romanians had seen off Mainz in the last round, but they would be no match for the mighty Austria Wien! An Austria Wien side whom regular readers of this series will recall, are one of my favourites in European competition. A 3-1 win for the Austrians saw them on the brink of the group stage, but a pesky 1-0 win for Gaz Metan in Romania made the tie tricky. Gaz Metan had had a great run, but the Austrian Barcelona were in the group stage.

**

Fulham v Dnipro
Birmingham v Nacional
Thun v Stoke

The English sides all had tough draws in this round, so it is to their credit how well they did. Birmingham, relegated last season, still had too much for the Portuguese side, embarrassing them with a 3-0 win. Thun saw off Palermo, but that was all their luck run out, as Stoke won in Switzerland, then thumped them 4-1 in England. Fulham v Dnipro was meant to be a close run thing, between English and the Ukrainian high spenders, but a 3-0 for Fulham in the first leg put the tie beyond any doubt. Three successes, and well done.

**

HJK v Schalke


This tie on paper is not so much “David v Goliath” as “Goliath vs one of the guys that came before David”. A nailed on victory for the European giants Schalke, who, let’s not forget, were Champions League semifinalists in April, was almost certain. But then, that’s the problem with playing football matches on paper. Reality sometimes throws up a spanner or two.

In Finland, Schalke had some chances early on, before Pukki ran in on goal and smashed the ball in from well beyond the box. Shock, and soon after they doubled it! HJK lead 2-0 and could have had much more. It ended 2-0 and was not only a great result for the Finnish, but Schalke found themselves in an almighty hole. Both of Pukki’s goals were collectors’ items!

Into the second leg. Early on , Farfan took the corner for Schalke, and Raul was hacked down by Rafinha in the box. Penalty, and Huntelaar made no mistake, firing home from the spot. Swiftly afterwards, Pukki jinked past the entire Schalke defence, and his shot was smashed against the keeper, but HJK kept the ball, got it back to Pukki, and he smashed the ball into the net. 1-1 in Germany, 3-1 HJK on aggregate! We were on course for a massive shock. Pukki looked unplayable, playing himself into a possible transfer.

Schalke, facing the firing squad straight in the face, then had to show the class they undoubtedly have. Draxler’s quick pass to Huntelaar saw him slam the ball home for 2-1. Into the early moments of the second half, and Farfan was unstoppable on the ball, until he was tripped in the box. Huntelaar’s penalty, Huntelaar’s goal, Huntelaar’s hattrick. 3-3 on aggregate now, and HJK were starting to tire out. Good passing saw Holtby’s cross knocked in by Papadopoulos with a cracking header. Schalke never looked back. Farfan’s cross, to Huntelaar, who knocked in for his 4th goal of the game. Imperious form from a great player. Marica’s cross to Draxler made it 6-1 late on.

HJK lost the 2nd leg heavily, and would lost the tie heavily had it not been for Pukki, the 21 year old Finnish star. Great goals, passes to his team, he single handedly nearly threw Schalke out of the tournament. He reminded me a lot of a young Pavel Nedved, which given Nedved was my first major football hero, is massive praise coming from me. I’m also not the only one who was extremely impressed with the young man.

On transfer deadline day, he moved from HJK... to Schalke. Six international caps in the last year, one Bundesliga appearance in the last month, and talent to burn. Remember the name Teemu Pukki, you’ll hear much more of it in the future.
HJK can’t feel too bad though. The team that beat them 6-1 (and who they beat 2-0 in Finland!) had Farfan, Holtby, Raul, Fuchs, Draxler, Marica, Huntelaar in it. It’s no surprise for a team of that quality, a team who could be candidates to win the Europa League, advancing from obscurity. But they did well, and made it a tie to remember.

**

Hannover v Sevilla


The genesis of Hannover’s recent renaissance was formed in the depths of tragedy. In 2009, Hannover’s goalkeeper, the German International Robert Enke, committed suicide. The star had been suffering from depression for many years, and had found the death of his daughter too much to take.

A team in mourning became a team in freefall, avoiding relegation narrowly that season, a 3-0 win on the last day of the season at Bochum leaving them 4th from bottom, and sending Bochum crashing to relegation in their place. The season after saw a much steelier and determined Hannover flirting with Champions League football for long spells, before finishing 4th on an impressive 60 points, and securing European football.

Standing in their way was an expected early exit at the hands of Sevilla, winners of this trophy in 2005 and 2006. The goals in Germany all came in the first half, Kanoute’s away goal sandwiched by a Schlaudraff double. A decent 2-1 win over the European heavyweights, but the score would be settled in Seville, yes?

It was Abdellaoue and Hannover who opened the scoring in Seville. Pogatetz knocked the ball into his own net for the equaliser, and it was 1-1, but Sevilla never got the goal that would force extra time, and Hannover, from tragedy, had qualified for the group stage and knocked out the 2 time winners. Good luck to them!

Shocks, great games, disgraces, controversies, lawsuits, walkovers, screamers.

And that was the round that was.

That Doctor Who Thing (Week 5)

Sort of a redux version tonight folks - only the thousand and a half words, Review Lite if you prefer - as I am feeling utterly ghastly with the bug which is picking off most folk in Glasgow currently.

But the show must go on, so here it is:

This is the bit where I ramble on about spoilers without spoiling things so people who accidentally click on this link expecting the football results and not the results of Doctor Who.

Here are the results of the football. Skaro 1, Gallifrey 1 in the early Kick Off, Mars 9 (NINE) Dulkus 0.

Duncan Lunan's Success, A Pile of Socks and Other Writers

So we have some news to update folk with.

A Pile of Socks was published this week. The name may be familiar to some reading this. It was written in 2005, and has undergone roughly just over one hundred redrafts since that time. It went up to the GSFWC lot in 2007, when its flaws - essentially, everything bar the title - were pointed out. So it got redrafted some more.

I think two things are intact from its original 2005 first draft. The title, but then I am particular about my titles. And the fact that the main character was called Euan. Every other word got changed, changed back, swapped and deleted.

There was substantial trouble with the character of the mother. She was a cipher, merely there to exist. You may note there is no mother in the story now. If you can take a character out so effortlessly without it effecting the story, they really shouldn't have been there in the first place.

Now it does feel like reading the work of Algernon Blackwood's "other writer". But it has a home and is no longer an orphan.

Certainly it would never have got here without the help of many of the GSFWC people (Eliza Chan, Elsie Donald) but especially to the copious notes given to me by Neil Williamson and Duncan Lunan, without whom you wouldn't be reading this story.

And without any of them, those wonderful Critters, I wouldn't have had anything published since. I used to say "Well, Socks never got published, but I tried to learn from its drafts errors". In many ways, it's the most important thing I wrote, because it changed me in its wake.

Oh, and I do like the story. A lot. I wouldn't have kept it alive if I didn't.


Speaking of Duncan Lunan, that man had a very special party in his honour on Thursday night, at which me and Mandy were delighted to be able to attend. Duncan Lunan is one of nature's polymaths, as comfortable in the worlds of science as he is in the worlds of writing. Yet, for as long as I, and many people, have known him, his Holy Grail remained untouched. His Green Children book remained unpublished, after forty years of research.

Till now.



Yes, that is a contract signing. Duncan's book is getting published!

The Bon Accord pub in Glasgow was full of well wishers as a man who has provided ample support to numerous writers over the years, me included, got a moment in the sun. The renaissance of Lunan in the past year and a bit has been wonderful to see, as the man goes back on the lecture tour and has become one of the busiest writers around, all over the country. More power to him, it's hard to think of a writer who deserves this success more.

Friends and newcomers alike may be interested in the first part of this interview I did with Duncan earlier this year.

Also in the news is someone who is benefiting from Duncan's advice. In the "everything I learn I pass on" way. Justin Jessel used to run the critically acclaimed IHAO video review series. Now, he is making his first steps into the genre fiction market. I am delighted to be able to say that his story Protect and Serve is to be published by Divertir Publishing in their Strange Case Files anthology. A success this good - the private details make it better than any I have struck so far in my career - at such an early moment in a career is simply stunning. So good luck to Mr Jessel, and here's to more in the future.

Tom Jordan now runs a Writers Podcast,and his own Writers Website here. Still in the embryonic stage of his career, and with substantial success already, his career will only be on the up.


Finally, what's that, you say? You need some poetry? Well, ok. Here is a blase reaction to terorism, cause and effect which shows how selfish suicide is, a short thesis on the nature of being, and the story of what happened at a dad's funeral. I should warn you, the last one makes me laugh trying to read it aloud. When you laugh at your own humour, you must be insane.

And on that calm note, this was the update that was!

That Doctor Who Thing (Week 4)

So, Week Four of that Doctor Who thing already.

What's that, you say? What happened to Week Three? Well, I'm glad you asked me that, that's a very important question, and....

OH LOOK! TURTLE FENCE!

I think that explains everything.

The Watcher

The Watcher

A new story of mine has been published by Bewildering Stories Issue 439. The Watcher is entirely auto-biographical, apart from the bits I made up. Another Glasgow ghost story, the parts which are based on cold fact, and the bits which are writer embellishment, I leave to your imagination.

Simon and Hugh aren't based on any particular academics, but are an amalgamation of bits of various different academics I've known over the years.

This story came to me on Christmas Day 2005 (technically Boxing Day) around 4am, walking back home after I had seen my friend Louise safely home after a get together. And not six years later, here it finally is, readable.

By my standards, that is positively swift!

That Doctor Who Thing (Week 2)

So, that bit at the start where we ramble for long enough so that anyone who accidentally clicks on the link without seeing tonight's episode will realise the error of their ways before we get to the OMG! ZARBI RETURN! bit.

Of course, what am I going to do when Steven Moffat actually brings back the Zarbi, and so the Zarbi jokes becomes a spoiler? Lets just cross that bridge when we get to it.

That Doctor Who Thing (Week 1)

SPOILERS WILL SPOIL THINGS IN A SPOILISH WAY AHEAD. BE AFRAID.

I warned you.

So, Doctor Who. It's a TV show. A long running TV show. Think of any TV show and it's be on longer. What's that you say? Coronation Street? Meet the Press? Candid Camera?

Oh ok, it was hyperbole. I admit it, guilty as charged.

But what the show is, unquestionably, is brilliant. This is that use of the word "unquestionable" which means "according to the writers personal tastes, where he gives his own opinion as fact". I'm good at that version of the word. People will argue over what sections of the show are unquestionably brilliant. Maybe the earlier, edgier Hartnell era? The late 60s clowning Troughton? The man of action Pertwee? The intergalactic Tom? (That's not a reference to his Doctor, mind you, Tom Baker actually IS from another world. But that's a state secret.) The vet? The multicoloured man? The manipulator? The blink and you miss him guy in the 90s? The angry Navy guy? The foppish Scot? Or even the new guy?

Well, I'll be honest. All of it is brilliant, in its own way. Just some of it is more brilliant than others.

And some of it... is Underworld. But this blog is a NO UNDERWORLD ZONE. Phew!

What it will have, though, and we have to be careful here are... SPOILERS!


SPOILERS


SPOILING


THINGS


IMMINENTLY


SERIOUSLY




Yeah, any further and I'll unleash any number of spoilers, like how the policeman did it in The ABC Murders, and the brother did it in And Then There Were None. But they wont be made up.











Right, now you only have yourself to blame.



Bloody hell folks, didn't see the Zarbi returning like that!


Right, where were we?

LETS KILL HITLER.

What an interesting notion. Who said that?

Mels, apparently, who shows up 2 minutes into this latest episode of Doctor Who, stolen car, police chasing, gun in hand. The fiendish Scot - Steven Moffat, this is, not Amy Pond - had promised a new companion would show up in Episode 8, and here she was. Michael's first thoughts: Oh dear god.

Thankfully this wasn't a first impression, as we met the girl three years ago. Yes, it was actually River Song, in the regeneration before the one we all know and deal with. There was rumours that the Season 8 companion would be River Song for a whole season about a year ago, so if there was any truth in that, then we DID meet the new companion.

Thank goodness it was River Song and not a Lady Christina de Souza retake, is what I'll say.

So the TARDIS takes off, and we meet Hitler, which caused a big stooshy before transmission on certain parts of certain forums. Tom Spilsbury, editor of the Doctor Who Magazine, even had complaints for having Hitler on the front cover of his magazine, by fans fearing they would be taken for Nazi propaganda lovers, in WH Smiths of all places! (Ignoring in fact that every History magazine in existence either has Hitler or Lincoln on the front cover anyway*, and hardly any Historians have been arrested in WH Smiths for Nazi love.)

*Writer's Hyperbole. Far funner than normal hyperbole.

But you know, last night, I was speaking to my sister Cat, who is the biggest Doctor Who geek I know. (Sorry to everyone else in the running, and thank you for taking part!) At some point in the conversation, which, if rumours of my being a "subversive writer" are true, you can look forward to seeing published in The Sun within the week, I said:

"I would laugh, if, after all this hype, everything we have seen in the trailers - TARDIS crashing through the windows of the Riechstag, Hitler saying "You have saved my life" and Rory punching him - was all we saw of Hitler. The whole title comes from someone randomly saying "Let's Kill Hitler!""

We laughed. A lot.

And then it came true.

Well, they say in humour lies truth.

Yes, after all the Hitler hype, he is in the episode approximately 3 minutes tops, and gets 5 lines. Which is just as well really, we all remember how controversial the portrayal of Nixon was. (For controversial, read: not as one sided as people expected.) Now there's a whole discussion for another time, what parts of history are considered off limits for Doctor Who. Should Hitler be considered off limits? Personally, I think no, because we have a long history of Hitler on TV, and not just with him being treated deadly seriously. Michael Sheard after all made a life time of playing Hitler in everything from Indiana Jones to The Tomorrow People to Grange Hill. Ok, the last one just felt like it. It's what we do: we take terrible things, and make light of them, as a nation. As a world.

But they played it safe anyway, even in the cameo. No grudging respect for the celebrity history figure this time out. Fear from Amy, undisguised loathing from the man of action Rory, and a brilliant mix of anger and confusion from The Doctor (he really doesn't understand humans, ones who allow bad things to happen even less so). Then he gets punched and locked in the cupboard.

Because the story isn't about Hitler. It's about River Song.

Oh, ok. It's actually about four hundred tiny people in a human sized robot (which can shape-shift into anything) which kills war criminals.

But it's actually about River Song. An alternative title could well have been "Genesis of River Song", as the girl who was Mel(ody) regenerates into River (after being shot by Hitler, in a scene which felt straight out of Quantum Leap) and then kills the Doctor. But she can't kill him now as she is going to kill him in Episode 13, which we saw in Episode 1, so she saves him.

Not confusing at all.

After people asked the question: "Why didn't River regenerate in the Library?" we get the answer: because she used up all her regenerations saving the Doctor from incurable poison.

Bloody obvious when you think about it, really. I guess.

The whole Moffat era isn't really about Spoilers. Well, it is, but it isn't. The Spoilers aren't the big things we'd expect, like Daleks v Cybermen or River Song is Melody Pond. Despite them being played up as so. It's sleight of hand. We already know (and man, am I going to look foolish in six weeks here) that River Song kills the Doctor in Episode 13. (But the Doctor will get out of it somehow, as usual - unless Private Eye was RIGHT ALL ALONG!) We know the whats, it's the hows and whys we don't know yet. In some other series of Doctor Who, the Doctor being shot (by River) in Episode 13 would have been the BIG SHOCK MOMENT the series hinged on.

We got it five minutes into the series. It's not the surprise the series is about, its the journey to the surprise. Which might rub people up the wrong way - I understand if this most recent series of Doctor Who isn't someones cup of tea, in the same way I understand why people run away from the Pertwee or the McCoy era, and how I hope people understand why the Tennant era wasn't my favourite in the last fifty years.

But on a personal level, it interests me far more than putting a random word into the script and tie it together in week 13. Which isn't a put down of the "Bad Wolf" effect. Two entirely different ways of storytelling, I just prefer the more recent.


Casting? It was a story of the regulars. Hitler was in it for three minutes as I said, so Albert Welling barely gets any time to make an appearance. (Indeed, he looks less like Hitler than Ian McNiece does as Churchill, but that's being picky) We have some random extras, including our red shirt SS man at the beginning, who serves only to be done in. (And the actor is then required to play a rather wooden robot, so its not fair to judge him on the part!)

The crew of the robot - who look very suspiciously like Gangers! - are a nondescript lot, purely there to add a threat outwith the newly regenerated River trying to kill the Doctor.

So it is down to the TARDIS four. Thankfully, they are on their usual top form. Alex Kingston is growing into the role of River Song, and becomes more enjoyable by the appearance. She is also, as shown in ER, a bloody good actress, and managed to portray Younger River as being different to the Older River we know.

Rory and Amy continue to be what Harry and Sarah would have been if they got married.

And Matt Smith's Doctor is simply fantastic. What a brilliant actor. Who came from nowhere. And he's still young, yet has all the tools. Barring disaster, the man will grow into such a top notch actor, it's quite exciting.


So Lets Kill Hitler. What did we think?

Well, I've never been a fan of ***** ratings. Blame Meltzer.

And percentage ratings would get confusing, especially when people ask me why I rated Night Terrors 1% better than Daleks v Dinosaurs (to spoil Episode 13s title, I'm sure). (Thanks Menny for pointing this one out.)

So I've come up with a sure fire Reference Guide for Doctor Who episodes, inspired by the Lucky Lady Doctor Who thread on Gallifrey Base. Which isn't a plug.

Within this thread we have a variety of posters, and in tribute to some folk who have been very nice to me in the past, I'm going to rate the Doctor Who episodes based on them.

So first off we have Ziusudra. He loves Classic Who, and lots of it. Especially the Golden Era of the Seventies. But...to say he is not fond of New Who is to put it mildly and charitably. He really really doesn't like it. At all.

Then we have Pete, who sort of likes some New Who, but mostly is comme ci comme ca about it.

Next up, McRani - who got mentioned before as a Fulham fan, for his sins - who is usually more optimistic, but isn't as fond of newer Who. Even so, he does like it, sort of.

And finally, Steve W. The most optimistic man in fandom. He loves everything. The show could be The Doctor yawning for 40 minutes then pressing an actual reset button, and he would defend it.

So...
Zius - Rubbish, terrible, or just really really bad.
Pete - Ok, but could have been so much better.
McRani - Pretty good. Not perfect. Could have been improved, but pretty good for what we got.
Steve W - Bloody brilliant top notch Who.

Simple, easy to remember Rating System. I don't foresee using the Zius rating that often - I am a terrible positive person for someone so depressive, after all - but it does good to take precautions.

And with this said, Lets Kill Hitler, on the strength of our TARDIS four, gets a...

McRani.

Which isn't that bad for an "opener".

It was a romp, but a romp in which all the incidental stuff like threats to the universe got put into later episodes, so we could be reminded who our characters, and what the main plot was again.

And in that, it succeeded.

Rapid Decline of Scottish Football?

Post on the "Rapid Decline of Scottish Football" published on Gallifrey Base, re-posted here by request of Jon Arnold.

It's not rapid though, is it?

I mean, right around the years the Old Firm did well in Europe, they were losing to Kaunas, Artmedia, and even a decade ago to Basel, Zizkov, etc. Aberdeen might pull off a memorable run, but then they don't qualify for Europe for a few seasons. Views on Europe tend to change via manager. Walter Smith always viewed Europe as a distraction until he started to do well at it. Mark McGhee, as noted before, claims to have put no effort into studying how Sigma played, and lost 8-1. On the other hand, Craig Brown could tell you more about Aalesund than their fans before Motherwell beat them in Europe. So competent managers and a lack of them is a big part, probably.

Look at Celtic. Ten years ago they had the financial clout to sign good players on big wages, and O'Neills men wiped the floor with most in Scotland, and produced great results in Europe. Strachan came in with less money and less respect, but was a good manager and they managed to do better in the CL after a nightmare start. He was removed anyway for not being "Celtic minded".

So now they have not a top class manager with not a top class squad. And that self-fufilling prophecy about away days in Europe. It wasn't even that prevalent 10 years ago, they beat Blackburn and Liverpool away in the UEFA Cup. But the press kept going about "No away wins", then suddenly the team and fans were, then its come to, any away game, they could lead and they fall apart. Its like England penalties. Once you think - "Oh we always lose these" you've lost mentally. Couple this with Fortress Parkhead being torn apart by a string of bad defeats, and now Celtic have no fear factor whatsoever. Once a team don't have a fear factor about them, they can be proved quite ordinary. Hell, look how bad Chelsea looked at times last season...then think of a team without that level of quality player.

Rangers have always been hopeless in Europe, with the odd year where things go well. For every 2008 Cup final, there is a Zizkov. Even the "nine in a row" side when they had a side who could beat the Premiership champions (and did) were ousted by AEK, Levski, Steaua, Grasshopper and Goteborg, none of them top class sides in the 90s.

Hearts are a mess. Dictatorial owner, managerial-go-round, players sacked then brought back, that they havent exploded yet is surprising. Makes me wonder how bad Tromso were, to be heavily beaten by a side who were heavily beaten by Hearts!

Dundee United did the plucky "brave defeat" thing, and were 2 things away from victory, as I mentioned here. Even at the end, they could have won, but missed an open goal, and if you miss those chances you go out. Last year they had the bad luck of drawing AEK Athens, and even then only went out 2-1 against a far superior side.

Motherwell did some good results - added 11 points to the Scottish Coefficient in the last 3 years, which is pretty impressive for a lower ranked Scottish side! - but again, their kids were outclassed in the Final Qualifying Round. Once by Steaua, once by Odense. The same Odense who just kicked Panathinaikos out of the CL and are currently beating Villarreal. Again, plucky, but too big a gulf.

Hibs never show as good as they might think they wish to be.

The rest show up in Europe once in a blue moon, are utterly inexperienced at that level, and inexperience is a massive killer as much as gulf in class. 9/10 surprise exits (Hi Mainz!) comes through team inexperience at European level, that's why we remember those who had impressive debut runs, because they are in a minority.

The bits below the Old Firm happen all the time. Nothing new here, really. Unless these sheiks suddenly decide to take over some Scottish sides, we wont see a change.

And given we have such a rubbish league format (3 x 11, and league split) and a closed league/non-league format, the chances of that happening - beyond the obvious - are slim to none.

Europa League Round 3

We are ever so slightly behind in the Europa League - Blame lots and lots of medicals, from which I hope to get some closure soon.

So this is a Roundup of the wonderfully exciting Round 3, minus the suspense.

***

Bnei Yehuda v Helsingborgs.

Henrik Larsson used to play for Helsingborgs, back in the day. Bnei Yehuda are a decent rising Israeli side, and I'd have earmarked them to win this one. The first leg went the way I expected, with BY taking a slim 1-0 victory back to Sweden. It all began to fall apart in the second leg, when Helsingborgs equalised the tie through Lindstrom barely 3 minutes in. The Israelis needed to rise to the occasion, but buckled, dropping another two goals in the second half to be ousted by a team I hadn't rated. Hadn't rated, despite them being top of the Swedish Allsvenskan, the Swedish topflight. A sad case of yours truly not doing his homework.

Bnei Yehuda 1-0 Helsingborgs
Helsingborgs 3-0 Bnei Yehuda
Helsingborgs won 3-1 on aggregate.

**

Slask Wroclaw v Lokomotiv Sofia

Slask, you may recall, knocked Dundee United out in the last Round. Don't worry, more Scottish humiliation to come. The Poles were still a relatively unknown force, and came up against another relatively unknown force. When it comes to Bulgaria, the best known sides remain Levski and CSKA Sofia, the two Sofian giants. In recent years, Litex Lovech had come to the forefront, winning the league, but finishing just short of getting into one of the European group stages. Lokomotiv were the team founded by the railway workers hence their name.

For reference when it comes to the old Soviet block teams:

Lokomotiv - were founded/run by the railway workers.
Spartak - trade unions
Dinamo - police
CSKA - army
Partizan - named after the WW2 Partisans.
Torpedo - car people, I think.

The old VSS meant all the teams of a name (say Shakhtars Soligorsk, Karagandy and Donetsk) had links to each other.

With the various groups involved in the teams always wanting to one-up the others. But if you want an indepth look at the history of the four, across Europe, and how sociopolitics and football shaped each other through the 20th Century, you will have to come back another time, as we already far offtopic!

This tie ended in two 0-0 draws. Extra time couldn't separate the teams. So the dreaded penalty shootout was called for. It was a nightmare for Ivanov and Dafchev, as they both missed their penalties for the Bulgarians. The Poles converted all four of theirs, and so were into Round 4.

**

AEK Larnaca v Mlada Boleslav

So, you may remember AEK got that slightly surprising 9-0 aggregate win last time out. Slightly surprising, as no one, bar the one fan of them I now know of, had ever heard of them. AEK that is. Floriana's ineptness was well known. However, in an attempt to bring some up to date journalistic info to you, I went and asked the source about his team. So...

- AEK Larnaca were founded in 1994 after the merger of two clubs from Larnaca, EPA and Pezoporikos.

- This is AEK's 3rd European run since the merger - both prior clubs had form in Europe though. IN 1996/7, they took on Barcelona, and you might think you know where this is heading, but Barcelona were held to a draw in Cyprus... then won the game in Spain. Still fairly impressive though. And more recently, in 2004, they took on the Israelis Maccabi Petah-Tikva, and won the first leg 3-0....only to fall apart 4-0 in the 2nd leg. Oh dear.

- Their best position in the League is the 4th place, obtained 5 times(1996,1997,1999,2008,2011). They also won a Cup(2004) and were finalists twice(1996,2006).


"The amazing thing is that after they got relegated to the 2nd Division in 2008/09 they came back to drive everyone crazy and qualify to Europe... thanks to the excellent coach, staff and board of directors that the club has. The coach is the Dutch Ton Caanen and the president is Costas Michaelides who is one of the richest people in Cyprus. Caanen brought many experienced Dutch players like Kevin Hofland, Gregoor van Dijk, Edwin Linssen who contributed the most to the success of AEK last year. Tim de Cler, Gonzalo Garcia, Koullis Pavlou, Giannis Skopelitis and Miljan Mrdaković, who was last year's top scorer in the League, were all great transfers made this year and will strengthen the team ever more. This year I expect them to obtain their best position in the League ever and qualify to Europe due to League standings and not due to their appearance in the Cup. In Europe if they qualify to the PO round(95% certain) and have a good draw there then they can even qualify to the group stage. Further economical boom, even greater transfers... It was time that Larnaca had a top team competing for the title."
aekFC4ever, Bert Kassie's site.

All info and quotes come right from him. And now you know more about the Cypriots than you do about your own team! Well, I think I do at least! Heh.

Mlada Boleslav did not win the Czech league recently, despite my foolish attempts to make Sporcle tell me they had. They did KO Marseille in a fine 4-1 win a few years back though.

All this said, 0-0 at HT was a pretty good result for the Cypriots, against the Czech side. Then on the hour everything seemed to go rather strange. Sirl hacked his man down in the box, giving a penalty to AEK! Van Dijk made no error from the spot, smashing it home, and the Cypriots lead!

How would the Czechs respond? By the goalkeeper falling asleep at a free kick, allowing Garcia to toe pock the ball over the line? 2-0 AEK? Surely some error.

The game finished in injury time when SEVEN Czech defenders were daydreaming in the box, allowing de Cler to score through them all and into the net, in the most preventable goal of the round. Then the full time whistle went.

Mlada have some European pedigree, ok, it's not that much, but still, they have KO'd good sides, scared others, and finished in the Czech league ahead of more favored teams like Slavia Praha, Slovan Liberec, Teplice.

AEK Larnaca...are known by no one. And yet they won the first leg 3-0. To say it was shocking is an overstatement, as bigger shocks were to come, but it ranked at a good 7/10 on the shock scale.

However, in the week between the first and second leg, the poor fans from Larnaca probably dreamt of Maccabi Petah-Tikva every night.

And it didn't look good, as Mlada BATTERED the Cypriots for most of the first half, dominating the entire game. Then suddenly, on the 45th minute a long ball saw Priso free and onside and he sprinted the rest of the way to slice the ball into the net. 0-1 AEK! Completely against the run of play, but none of the Cypriot fans cared about that! Now suddenly Mlada needed five goals to qualify.

They gave it a good try, and in the second half it was 2-1 Mlada through a Reznicek penalty and a Stohanzl goal. Soon after, AEK got a penalty of their own, and Mrdakovic made no errors. 2-2. The game petered out. A fantastic win for AEK Larnaca, who were now one tie away from a group stage.

But not to worry, they will lose comfortable 7-0 on aggregate to whoever they play. [/promise]

AEK Larnaca 3-0 Mlada Boleslav
Mlada 2-2 AEK
AEK Larnaca win 5-2 on aggregate.

**

Ventspils v Crvena Zvezda

The Latvians had qualified for the group stage a few seasons ago, where they got a few points but finished bottom, having already kicked the noteworthy BATE out of the Champions League. So they have form.

Crvena Zvezda - or Red Star Belgrade as you might know them, CZ being a straight translation of Red Star - won the Champions League in 1991, but have done little since then. They've been overshadowed by their neighbours, Partizan.

They did get a good 2-1 away win here, followed by a crunching 7-0 victory in Serbia, to emphatically move into Round 4.

**

Alania v Aktobe

Alania are Russian. Once a force, they fell on bad times lately, and this is their first European run in some time.

Aktobe are Kazak crack forces, and one of the most steadily improving European sides.

This was a brilliant tie. I watched every second of it, and don't regret much about that. Aktobe started very well, and their slick passing got their reward when Mane slide the ball home, to give them the away goal.

They threatened to add to that, but failed to, and it cost them as they dozed off from a looping ball, allowing Buraev to knock in the equaliser on the hour. 1-1 first leg result, despite bucketload of chances, and a good result to take to Kazakhstan.

The second leg's first half came and went, chances everywhere, none taken. Had Aktobe taken ANY Of their chances, the result would have changed. As it was, into the second half, Alania got two bites of the cherry on an attempted cross, and the cross met the unguarded head of Bikmaev, who scored an utterly preventable header. Suddenly the Russians were in the drivers seat after so long under the cosh.

This is where something astonishing happened. A lot has happened to Kazak and Azeri football in the nine years I've been a football fan. When I started watching, they were Round 1 cannon fodder. Suddenly a few years ago they started taking victories. But even then, when something went against them, they'd fall apart. Here, Aktobe did not fall apart. They roused themselves, and went at the Russians harder than before, leading to a totally deserving equaliser that had me jumping out of my seat in celebration!

A good flick over the top of the Russian defence, saw the cross meet Dilas and his header was expertly placed, with no chance for the keeper. 1-1 in Russia, 1-1 in Kazakstan, 2-2 on aggregate.

The Kazaks had the wind in their sails, and swept forward time and time again, but the Russians held on for dear life. Khomich in the Russian goal saw many saves to protect his side.

So extra time came, and neither side could get past the others goalkeeper, so onto penalties we went.

The first four penalties all scored. But then fate had its cruel say on a fine encounter. For Aktobe were to miss two penalties, and the two misses came from their two heroes in normal time, Dilas and Mane! Mane struck weakly, allowing Khomich to save. Dilas stood up confidently and whacked the ball, but Khomich made a far better save, taking the Russians through.

Terrible for the Kazaks, but hey, they'd done so well. They are one good result in Europe away from being quite feared. A lot of the Azeri and Kazak sides remind me a lot of how Shakhtar Donetsk were about eleven years ago, and we all know how they've come on.

So fair well to the Kazaks for this years Europa League, but next year could bring more excitement and advancing for them. In their league, 5 teams (Zhetysu, Karagandy, Astana, Irtysh and Aktobe) fight for four places, but Irtysh may have to win the Cup to qualify, being in 5th place and in the semifinals with lower sides Turaz, Ordabassy and Tobol.

**

Karpaty beat St Pats Athletic, of whom we've spoken before, 2-0 in the Ukraine. A player strike threatened to throw out the 2nd leg, but common sense came back, and St Pats showed up to lose 3-1 in Ireland. They probably wished they were on strike after all. Ignominious end for a good European run.

Atletico Madrid took little harm from Norwegians Stromsgodset, winning 2-1 in Spain and 2-0 away.

The well regarded Swiss side Young Boys had no trouble with Belgian underdogs Westerlo, winning 5-1 on aggregate.

Maccabi Tel Aviv had never lost to Zeljeznicar before (EDIT - because they haven't actually ever faced before! Oops!), and still haven't, as they thumped the Bosnians 8-0 on aggregate.

Sparta Praha also thumped Sarajevo, meaning any hopes of a Bosnian side in the group stages of the EL were swiftly dashed.

Also dashed were hopes for Czechs Jablonec, who were ousted 3-1 on aggregate by once feared Dutch side AZ. Wasn't turning out to be a very good year for the Czechs coefficient!

Some rather daft person predict a shock on the cards, for Gomel of Belarus to beat the unconvincing Bursaspor of Turkey. We shan't reveal the embarrassing name of the blog writer who predicted this, as Gomel lost 5-2 on aggregate. Oops.

Remember how Elfsborg were seeded to make Round 4? Do you also remember how impressive Aalesund had been in the cracking tie with Ferencvaros, and not as impressive in their still empathetic win over Welsh Neath? Well, Aalesund then took on the fancied Swedes, and thumped them 4-0 in the first leg alone. A 1-1 draw in the 2nd leg saw the Swedes out, and the ever increasingly impressive Norwegians were in Round 4.

Great result for Polish football time. Legia Warsaw won 1-0 in Turkey against Gaziantepspor, conquerors of Minsk who were conquerors of AZAL in the very first game we covered. A 0-0 in Poland, and a very good result for Legia, who advanced to a play off for the group stage against Spartak Moscow. I wonder if this will continue, and the EL winners will be the side who beat the side who beat the side who beat the side who beat the side who KO'd SPartak from the groups after they see off Legia. Serendipity, how AZAL won the Cup. Heh.

Vaduz may have knocked out Vojvodina, but Hapoel Tel Aviv are of a stronger quality than that, and won convincingly 4-0 in the first leg. Vaduz did win the second leg, 2-1, but a repeat of the Serbian shock was never on the cards.

Do you know how many times in history Danish sides have knocked Portuguese sides out of Europe? Absolutely never. So it was a tough tie for Midjytlland, to move from thumping a Welsh side, to taking on the often maligned but quite likeable Guimaraes. After a 0-0 in Denmark, the Danes threatened to end Portugals perfect record, but scoring the opener. But a Guimaraes goal on the stroke of half time calmed their nerves, and the winner was always coming. 2-1 it finished, and the Portuguese were in Round 4.

KR v Dinamo Tbilisi was a meeting of the underdog shock troops so far, and the Georgians were in killer mode, winning 4-1 in Iceland and 2-0 at home. Heavy defeat for the Icelanders, but they had done well to make it this far. For the Georgians, only one small task stood between them and an incredible group stage. Only mighty AEK Athens of Greece!

Omonia continued the great performances for Cyprus, with a 3-0 win of their own, but this one was over the Dutch side Den Haag! A good 8/10 on the seismic shock meter. The Dutch only managed a 1-0 win in Holland, and Omonia got another great result for Cypriot football, as they now had 2 sides in the Final Qualifying Round, plus APOEL in the Champions League stages guaranteed group stage football, either in the Champions league or Europa League.

Could Anorthosis make it four, as the most feared of the four Cypriot sides? A 2-0 loss at home to Rabotnicki made it difficult, and a 2-1 away win in Macedonia was not enough. So no, only 3 Cypriot sides left in Europe. Strange how those most confident of success against minnows were the only side to get knocked out!

And if you will allow me...


YUS! RABOTNICKI! GET IN THERE!

Hey, allow me that moment, I've seen half of Round 4, they aren't doing too well.

Salzburg got a good 4-0 aggregate win over Senica.

Club Brugge ruined my party winning 4-1 over Qarabag in Belgium. A 1-0 win for the Azeri at home, even though a welcome boost to the coefficient, was not enough. So its goodbye to Azeri football from this too. Oh well.

Differdange lost 6-0 on aggregate against Olympiakos Volos, and still qualifed, as the Greeks have been thrown out of Europe for involvement in a match fixing scandal in Greece. So instead of them facing my least favourite french side, PSG, it was the Luxembourgers. Great.

Vorksla saw off Sligo, 2-0 in Ireland after a 0-0 draw in the ukraine.

PAOK and Nacional got good wins over Valerenga and Hacken to qualify too.

Which leaves us with...ten ties to cover.

**

Split v Fulham
Stoke v Hajduk

English bit. It was England vs the City of Split, in Croatia. A bad draw for Croatia saw them fighting for their lives, coefficiently speaking. Stoke got a 1-0 home leg result over Hajduk, though it could have been far more, as the Croats were terrified of the ol' Rory Delap throw in. Fulham got a 0-0 in Split, a decent result, but then they had to win in London. Any score draw would take them out.

Stoke then finished the job with a good 1-0 away result in Split, Milecevic knocking the ball into his own net in injury time to sea the deal with an unfortunate own goal, after Hadjuk had knocked in vain for the equaliser.

In London, Fulham saw off RNK Split with a Johnson first leg goal added to by a Murphy second half penalty.

So the end result was England 2, Split 0. Good tests for both the English sides to come through, but a bad result for Croatia, two sides down in a crucial European battle.

**
Ried v Brondby

Reid are the Austrian Cup winners. Brondby are well regarded, and even if Odense are trying to take away their status as 2nd team in Denmark like FCK took away their status as top team, they still have a reputation built on 90s football that gives them a manner of respect through Europe.

So the 2-0 home leg result for Ried was quite surprising, Mader and Royer's goals giving them a good cushion over the Danes.

A good cushion they promptly gave up in Denmark, finding themselves easily 4-0 down, and letting me call them the idiots. For they were.

There was no way Kristanssen should have been allowed to score from outside the box, but Gebauer the captain fumbled it into the net anyway! Soon after Karner decided the best thing to do watching a cross come into the box was to take down McGrath! Penalty, Krohn-Delhi scored, 2-0, tie level. Into the second half, they let Akharraz score twice in a minute, first from being the only man awake at a free kick, then from being the same at a corner.

So you can see in fifteen minutes Ried gave away four utterly preventable goals. Idiots!

I was to eat my words though, as this turned out to be a tactical masterstroke. Brondby sat back, and a Nacho attempt which was saved found its way to Royer, whose strike was so vicious it smashed in off one post and hit the other on its way in. 4-1 in Denmark, and suddenly another Austrian goal would take Ried through! In the 88th minute, the corner was fumbled and Hadzic smashed into the net for 4-2! The idiots were through on away goals, and Brondby had let a great position handed to them on a golden platter fall away.

Look, as far as football tactics go, I'm not sure I rate the "fall four goals behind to lull your opponents into a false sense of security" one, but hey, it worked for the Austrians here. In future they may wish to go the clean sheet route though, it tends to work far more often.

**

Paks v Hearts

Oh no! Another Scottish moment. A rare Scottish away draw was aided by a penalty I jokingly claimed would be the Scottish highlight in Europe - "The away penalty scored in Hungary". The Hungarians were quite a dirty side, falling over and demanding cards, but even so I was quite surprised when Heart won 4-1 in Scotland for a comfortable qualification. Next up....Spurs.

***

Mainz v Gaz Metan

Last year Mainz were a shock promoted side in Germany, undefeated for the first several rounds of the Bundesliga and securing a creditable top 5 finish. So the sharks circled and stole their best players, as is often happening with shock sides. Gaz Metan weren't expected to be in Europe, until Timisoaras shock relegation, and had made hard work of KuPS in Round 2.

I expected nothing of the Romanians and seemed on track when Bungert knocked one in for Mainz from a header. The shock came in the 2nd half when Bawab knocked it in for 1-1. Unexpected draw in Germany.

You can see the drama from the second leg here. End to end, chances a plenty, a cracking cup tie. Risse's opener for Mainz was once more cancelled out by Bawab, and we went to penalties, where, to the shock of me, and probably quite a few others, Mainz went and lost.

So, Gaz Metan weren't expecting Europe, now they'd gone and knocked out a German side!

**

Palermo v Thun

Palermo don't really care about the EL. They made some half hearted attempts before Luthi knocked it in the net for Thun. You might remember the Swiss side from a Champions League run where they scared Arsenal several years ago. Palermo mixed in their usual scintillating passes with some dodgy falls in the box, and got an equaliser from nearly 1000 yards out from Illicic, in true "eat my goal" fashion. Palermo kept going forward but missing, and it was Thun who scored next. An injury time equaliser made it 2-2, a great away result for the Swiss.

And with a 1-1 draw in Switzerland, they finished the job, and once fancied Italians Palermo were out very early.

**

Dinamo Bucharest v Varazdin

If there was an award for Jekyll and Hyde performances in Europe, Dinamo would be a strong contender for it. Some years, they are quite good. Others, they...well, aren't, to be charitable.

After the Split disaster, much pressure was on Varazdin for a good result here.

1-0, Susac knocked it into his own net, after some fancy Romanian footwork left Varazdin defence all at sea.

2-0, a long ball into the box, and Moti produced a perfectly executed overhead scissor kick on the edge of the box to smash the ball into the net. Moti has a reputation for foolishness amongst Dinamo fans, if I have been following correctly, so some, on coming home late and switching on the TV to see close up of him, immediately thought: "Oh god, what's he done?" only to see a wonder goal! After his goal he raised his arms in the arm in celebration, seeking applause.

2-1. Dinamo's offside trap was, frankly, hideous, giving Sacer a continents worth of free space to finish off a goal.

2-2. There was no stopping the free kick from Vugrinec, and it was 2-2 at half time. That's how it stayed at full time, and it was a great 2-2 draw to take back to Croatia for Varazdin. As for Dinamo, 2-0 up and drawing, oh dear.

Then came the second leg.

0-1. No one hoofed away the ball after the goalkeeper parried from a long kick, and Dănciulescu scored for Dinamo.

1-1. Advantage given instead of free kick, shot misses, keeper fumbles, defender misses ball, second striker misses, third Croat knocks ball into net. I see we returned to Keystone Cops defending, and Varazdin were once again qualifying.

1-2. A long free kick was fumbled again - goalkeepers didn't come across gloriously in this tie - and Munteanu was fastest to the ball, knocking it in the net for 4-3 aggregate for Dinamo.

All of this happened before 30 minutes had even been played, but Varazdin couldn't get another goal.

So, in this one football tie, Dinamo Bucharest had decided to be the good, the bad, and the ugly all by themselves, and still managed to qualify. Somehow. Couldn't have done their fans much good in the health department though.

As for Croatia, losing 3 sides in the one European round can be safely qualified as a bloody disaster.

Romania on the other hand, hadn't lost a side yet. Otelul, Gaz Metan, Steaua, Vaslui, Dinamo Bucharest and Rapid were all still in Europe!
**

Levski v Trnava - A 2-1 home win is always dangerous and so it proved for Levski, losing by the same in Slovakia, and having a penalty shootout to play, which they lost.

Metalurg Rustavi v Rennes. I feared for Rennes, my favourite French side who are utterly incapable of holding a run together, and have been pretty useless in Europe. So a 5-2 win in Georgia was quite surprising. 2-0 home win in France, and I was beginning to wonder who was this playing, and what had they done with Rennes? 7-2 was not expected at all, but a great result, all considering.

**

And finally, our main event:

Olimpija v Austria Wien

Olimpija, from Slovenian heavyweights, to dead, to Lazarus, to back on the European stage. Austrian Wein, those entertainers of the qualifying round, who thrilled, but then stuttered against bigger names. The tie suggested a relatively easy Austrian victory on paper, but the difference between paper and reality are two entirely different things!

A simple Linz goal for Austria was tied up by a Vrsic goal for the Slovenians, but a 1-1 tie in Slovenia was not the best of results.

Then came the second leg.

Five minutes in, Jozanovic took a good free kick for the Austrians, head away by the Slovenian defence. The Austrians were brushing forward, slick passing style, but Dzafic the Olimpija keeper was in fine form in the early stages. The defence fell asleep for Austria though, allowing Omladic a long shot, and though his shot was only parried, there was no one there to follow up, so Wien survived. A cross saw Omladic one on one with the Austrian keeper, and a fantastic point blank save from Grunwald prevented the goal.

A swift break saw an ambitious shot by Jozanovic sweep just wide of the net. Getting closer though. The pressure was mounting, and a corner soon after saw Barazite head in the opener for Austria Wien, who lead 2-1 on aggregate.

Olimpija were on the backfoot, and a long ranger saw the keeper all at sea, but on the third fumble he gathered the ball up just before Barazite got there again.

Olimpija wouldn't give up though, and had Vrsic's header been an inch either way it would been the equaliser. The Austrian blitzkrieg continued to bomb forward though, and only over excitement prevented them extending their lead in the first half.

That, and the fine goalkeeping of Dzafic.

The first time Olimpija had the ball after the 2nd half kick off though was to pick it out of their own net. You know those goals you get in the FIFA games where you pass the ball right from kick off and score while still having posession from that kick off? Well, Austria Wien actually did it here, Barazite finishing off the move. Dzafic asked where his defence was, and he had a good point to make.

So 2-0 on the night, 3-1 down. Game over for Olimpija, yes?

The Slovenians kept going though, and a slicing hit by Vrsic went in at an angle to make it 2-1 and game on. The wind was in the rising for Olimpija and their passing paid off with Jovic smashing the ball into the net for 2-2.

Suddenly, Olimpija were winning the tie on away goals!!!

Jovic had shrugged off two Austrians on his way to goal, his need to score outweighing mere physics.

I'll put my hand up and say the winning goal was controversial. Jun seemed to have as much of a foul on Andjelkovic as vice versa, but it was the Slovenian who was punished. Up stood Bazarite, who made no mistake from the spot, smashing it in for his hattrick.

That was the end of the scoring, so it ended 3-2 on the night, 4-3 on aggregate.

Olimpija had done so well on their comeback, but it ended, somewhat controversially. They'll be back though, and looked the most impressive Slovenian EL so far easily, though Maribor have entered in Round 4.

As for Austria. Players come and go. Yet they always play a fast, enthralling, attacking, passing game, which is impossible not to love. The players celebrate every goal like it means the world, with the entire team celebrating, and hugs all around. They play with smiles on their faces and in the true spirit of football. I defy any neutral to watch one of their games and not come away a massive fan of the football club. Truly, if ANY of the minnows took the next step to being a force in European football, I'd love it to be Austria Wien. Their entire ethos demands far greater rewards than they have gotten.


And that was the Third Round that was!

Rest of the Round 2

Aalesund v Ferencvaros (1-2)

So last time we saw that Ferencvaros, in their first European campaign for some time, had a narrow 2-1 lead over the Norwegians to take to Norway. It was to be an action packed game, Barrantes missing early for Aalesund when even a headless donkey would have scored. The Ferencvaros goal that put them 3-1 up on aggregate was the product of some nice passing, that split apart the Norwegian defence, allowing for a cool finish from Olah.

Aalesund now needed two goals just to force extra time. Most teams will give up when down like this, but give Aalesund credit, they kept going, and were finally rewarded in the second half with less than twenty minutes to go, when Myklebust was knocked down by Junior in the box. Up stood Barrantes, misser of a bucket load this match, but from the penalty spot he was lethal. Solid, into the top right of the net. 1-1 on the night, 3-2 Ferencvaros aggregate, but the score could easily have been 0-4 Ferencvaros or even 4-4!

The wind was in the Norwegians sails (any references to Vikings would be far too cheap) but the equalising goal was as much the fault of Ranilovic the Hungarian keeper as much as it was Aalesunds incisiveness. A long ball down the side was looped into the box, Ranilovic found himself all at sea trying to stop a header, and Fuhre was left to slice it into the net. 2-1, 3-3, extra time!

It stayed that way for most of extra time, and penalties looked certain, until the winning goal, in the 120th minute. (Extra time is two halves of 15 minutes, so 120th minute is the last minute before penalties.)

And it was an easy goal too. Felipe gave away the free kick, a decision he will be cursing for some time to come. Barrantes, the man who was everywhere this match, knocked the free kick into the box, and Post was found unmarked and completely onside to smash it home. 3-1 Aalesund on the night, 4-3 on aggregate. The Aalesund players all at once rushed forward to their bench, the Ecstasy of delight everywhere from the players to the management to the players, one big orange celebrating mass of humanity.

There was no time at all for Ferencvaros to do anything, done in by the last seconds of 210 minutes of pulsating football. It was sad there had to be a loser, but Aalesund had won, and set up a Scandinavian derby with Elfsborg in Round 3.

As for Ferencvaros, well, if this is the type of European tie they want to drum up, let's not wait six years for their next European visit!

**

Lokomotiv Sofia v Metalurg Skopje (0-0)

Not my pick usually for a surprising game. The Bulgarians get the draw in Macedonia the week before, and would surely seal a comfortable qualification. The winners of this tie, I should add, would meet Dundee United should United be able to see off Slask Wroclaw in the same round.

Any thoughts of this being a formality were crushed barely four minutes in, when a good pass saw the Bulgarians all at sea, and Krstev was allowed to smash a shot at the keeper Galev, who let the ball fall over him, giving Krstev a second chance to score the opener. 0-1 Metalurg! The ramifications of the first leg 0-0 were now in full effect, as now Lokomotiv HAD to win the game. Any other scoreline, even a draw would see them exit!

Just after the half hour, Memedi gave away the penalty, allowing for Lokomotiv to eqaulise from the spot. Up stood Karadzhinov, denied by a brilliant save by the Macedonian keeper, Pavlovic. About now you started to suspect that it wouldn't be the Bulgarians day. That yellow was problematic for Memedi though, as soon into the second half, he got his second, for a foul, and was sent off.

Soon after, another penalty, and this time Preslav took it for the hosts, and scored. 1-1, and now facing ten men, Lokomotiv Sofia looked good money to go on and...

Immediately concede a corner which led to a goal! Facing ten men, they were suddenly 2-1 down, and needed two goals in half an hour to avoid exit! Superb performance by the Macedonians.

Pavlovic had had a good game, but when the corner came with 5 minutes to go, he fell down amongst a crowd of players, allowing Preslav to score his second. 2-2. Tense moments to come.

There was nothing the Macedonians could do about Bozhinov's winner though, chipped from outside the box into the net in one swift flowing shot. A beauty to win any game, but a game harsh on the plucky underdogs who had made a real game of it.

Lokomotiv advanced though to meet the winner of Dundee United/Slask.

**

Zilina had a big task, after losing 3-0 in Iceland to KR. They got 2 goals back, but never got the third they needed to force extra time. Last season the Champions League, this season, out in Round 2.

A major shock looked on the cards as Vllaznia led Thun very early on. They lead nearly the entire game, from within the first fifteen minutes until injury time. Then Thun scored twice, and stole the match from the plucky Albanians. Thun looked terrible though, and their next opponents, Italian high ranking Palermo, had to be licking their lips at an easy tie.

Remember the great game that was Tauras v Den Haag. Well, Den Haag v Tauras was more straight forward, a goal in either half seeing Den Haag advance, 5-2 on aggregate.

Rabotnicki may have struggled in the first leg, but saw a 3-0 win over Juvenes to safely get into Round 3.

Flamurtari didn't lose 8-1 this time around in the 2nd legs of the 2nd round, as Jablonec were content with just the 5-1 victory.

Rad scored early in the second half, a scoreline that would have led to extra time against Olympiakos Volos, but Martins penalty saw the Greeks through.

Westerlo v TPS ended in a dull 0-0, the one goal Westerlo scored in the away tie saw the Belgians qualify.

Fulham dusted off Crusaders 4-0 on the night to see the Irish off 7-1 on aggregate, more goals from Damien Duff and Bobby Zamora. Tougher tasks were to come for the London side though.

Slovenian gloom was momentarily lifted as Domzale opened the scoring in split against RNK. Split then split apart the Slovenians, scoring thrice, and finishing off a comfortable victory. The long wait for a Slovenian away win (not including Maribor) continued. As it also did for Olimpija, but they were safe in the knowledge the 1-1 draw they got in Ireland with Bohemians was more than enough to see them safe through to the next round.

Continuing the Irish talk, St Pats ended the plucky journey of Shakhtar Karagandy. A goal from McMillan early saw the Irish in the driving seat, a goal twenty minutes from time from Doyle put the tie to bed.

Austria Wien and Nacional sealed the deals with 2-0 home wins over Rudar and FH.

Which leaves just one Round 2 tie left...


Dundee United vs Slask Wroclaw (0-1)

Scottish sides dont have all the best luck in Europe. Remember those heady days of Celtic and Rangers in the UEFA Cup finals? Long gone. Now an Andorran side would like at a draw with a Scottish side and consider it 50/50. Not to say there haven't been good performances, Motherwell produced some fine performances over the years, and went out in a gutsy performance to Steaua two years ago, though you wouldn't be able to tell that from the 6-1 aggregate defeat the history books show. Sometimes an inability to scout proved fatal, as when the Aberdeen manager claimed he'd never heard of Sigma Olomouc right before his side lost 5-1 at home to them. But then, if he had done as much research as he was jokingly claiming prematch, that was a complete disgrace. Often teams can be completely outmatched - see Queen of the Souths exit to Nordsjaelland, or Dundee UNited against AEK Athens. Sometimes you can try your best, but the opposition is simply better.

Hey, if that excuse works for Man U against Barcelona, it can work for Scottish sides in 90% of fixtures.

All of this said, the Poles are not great travellers, and 1-0 is not insurmountable. Not even two minutes were on the clock when Russell had scored to level the tie, a melee in the box allowing him to slot past a number of players.

Barely three minutes later, a looping head from midfield found David Goodwillie completely onside, and he scored to make it 2-0 Dundee United! What was going on? As it stood, the Scots were qualifying, but there was still 85 minutes to go!

There was an inevitability about the Polish goal 15 minutes in. United had dozed off, and the header from the corner should have been stopped, but instead Elsner scored.

Dundee United then missed a bucketload of chances before getting a penalty which Daly smashed home. 3-1 United at half time, and surely they had to come through now.

Instead, the Poles bossed most of the chances in the second half, and it was no surprise when Dudek scored to make it 3-2 on the night with fifteen minutes to go. Even then, United had a chance to win it at the end, scuffed high when it was easier to score.

3-3, and Dundee United were out on away goals. So close once more, and had they been more clinical, they'd have advanced, but as it was, another familiar story for Scottish football.


And that was the Round 2 that was.



Zilina v KR (0-3)
Thun v Vllaznia (0-0)
Gaziantepspor v Minsk (1-1)
Den Haag v Tauras (3-2)
Jablonec v Flamurtari
and Fulham, Split, Karagandy, Dundee United, Olimpija and Austria Wien.