It appears that yesterday my publicly stated views on events in England were misconstrued by nearly everyone who read them. Whilst yesterday that led to deep frustration, today I am forced to admit that if the writing doesn't convey the point well enough to the readers, then only one person is to blame, and that isn't the reader.
So we need to back track, before the debate over a person being left or right wing gets even more confusing, and we all feel like Colonel Renegade.
A riot doesn't spring up overnight, and nor does civil unrest. It is easy to see how distrust of the Met could spring up, certainly I have no love lost for them. At the time of the student protests, the Strathclyde Police were issuing statements apologizing for the actions of their Met counterparts at protests. There was weak leadership exposed by the hacking scandal, the issues of police brutality that never seem to go away (Ian Tomlinson just being the most famous recent case) and general ongoing problems with racism issues. Add to this that John Yates replacement as Asst. Commissioner of the Met - and the person now in charge of anti-terrorism in the capital city - is Cressida Dicks, the woman who made the headlines in 2005 for being in charge of the operation that led to the fatal death of Jean Charles de Menezes. Add to this Operation Trident, designed to smoke out black gun crime, but of whose forces only 5% are black officers only adds to the levels of distrust. It is important to mention Operation Trident, as it was officers working for it who were involved in the death of Mark Duggan, whose death was the spark for events in London.
So we have a police form, long time accused of racism, known for many examples of police brutality, known for it's attempts to cover up that brutality and having to pay up to £30k for being found guilty of that brutality. You can see why there would be lack of trust there.
Then we have our beloved Prime Minister, the man who looked ever so increasingly fragile during July, and who arguably was saved from an exit by the support of the 1922 Committee. His manner during the Andy Coulson debacle was humiliating to watch. Ignoring the fact that "nobody warned him about Coulson" (unless Ming Campbell asks him 5 minutes later) means either the PM lied at the dispatch box, or the editors of the Guardian and others are, the question he refused to answer roughly seventeen times (I don't think that it is too high an exaggeration) was: who vetted Andy Coulson to work in Number 10? News International sources, it turned out, so no wonder he didn't want to admit that in the House of Commons. The man gave the advantage to his opposition, a fellow seemingly destined as recently as six weeks ago to be the Labour partys version of Iain Duncan Smith, all the momentum. His biggest attempt to score a point on Ed Miliband's serve was to point out that Miliband's director of strategy, Tom Baldwin had also worked for Murdoch press. Even that failed, when the Labour leader, with a great relish to be in control of a situation for once, pointed out that Baldwin's line manager at the time was in fact... Michael Gove, the current Education Secretary!
Even without his faux pas at the despatch box, the Prime Minister could be forgiven if not forgotten if he had only led. That's why leaders are elected. To lead. Yet, through the worst moments of the phone hacking scandal, he is MIA. He threatened to be the same during the riots, but decided, out of the goodness of his heart, to cancel a holiday in the land of Berlusconi to come back and give out a few speeches about the violence. And reconvene Parliament. Well, at least he's starting to look go... (he also went against the advice of Sir Hugh Orde in order to score political points)...oh, well, forget that.
Let's not forget the Home Secretary, Theresa May.
Or the London Mayor, Boris Johnson.
So that's who we have in charge of the situation.
Now, onto the civil unrest/riots. Funny how we like to think of ourselves as freedom lovers, so that violent riots in far off countries are civil unrest, yet ones closer to home are riots. I said before, when the student protests were happening, and again during the problems with the Free HRC, that trouble makers and rent a mobs will attach themselves to any legitimate protest. And what we've seen stemmed from legitimate peaceful protest. Did the Met overstep their mark at that protest? Too early to say, and despite my noted bias against them, I remain careful before the facts, but they are allegations none the less.
So you have an angry crowd, angry against the police, the state, the bankers, everyone. Somewhere along the line a spark happened, and in the words of one ex-hooligan, "it all set off". The death of Mark Duggan was the spark for the protest, not the riot, and using it as a reason is both an unfair soundbyte and utterly unfair on the family, who regardless of the reputation of the dead man, whatever it may be, have lost a loved one tragically young.
But once you set something off, things can grow. Some of the usual suspects got involved, then brought in their mates. In the last three days many things have been brought to me by my sources: tales of London gangs getting involved in the rioting, of parents sending their children out with lists of things to loot, teachers and youth workers involved in it. It's not one sector of society, its a miasma of different people for different reasons. To claim it is social poverty, disenfranchisement, yob culture, education, gang problems, institutional racism, any one thing, is to belittle the cause and effect of what has been going on. A riot doesn't start over night, there is a slow build up rarely seen except from within.
And yet, the pivotal moment here is of crime and punishment. I've never had a problem with political protest, indeed I support the right for those to speak their mind, even those of odious natures. However, I also believe that one should accept the consequences for their action. If not paying the TV Licence is your stand against the BBC and State, then you have to accept the consequences if you get caught (ignoring the fact the licence is basically funded on trust, and the few caught out for evading the licence are those ignorant of the laws involved). If you want to chain yourself up to Parliament or throw a custard pie in the face of a billionaire, you have to accept the custodial sentence involved. After all, its part of the activism. Have you gone to jail for justice, etc.
Likewise, if you protest, even on legitimate reasons - especially even so - and you set fire to a persons house with intent to injure, then you must accept the consequences for that action. Likewise if you run over someone with a car in a hit and run, or mug a walking passerby.
VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER. In that respect, I do remain as constant as the Northern Star. Those who resort to violence lose the higher ground, morally. Worse, they give excuses to those who would seek to mistreat them. The people who suffer the most from these events are the vulnerable. Their peaceful protests are ambushed, they are attacked by those who ambush the protests, and then the violence is used as an excuse for harsher measures on them. I cannot support people who will use mindless violence on innocents, be they in war or on the street. All it does it turn people. Yet it is fully possible to have the ability to accept the many layered reasons for an event happening, and still being able to say: "Those who burn houses down, and murder people, in the name of this action are wrong and must be punished!"
I will defend the rights of the innocent against those who use violence as a means to express their anger. I will also defend the rights of the vulnerable against those who will use this violence as means of cracking down on them, using excuses to bring forth their ideological madness.
Think of it like benefit fraud. It does exist. It should be punished. Yet, if one in ten people on benefits frauded the state, that leaves nine in ten who don't, and who desperately need the help it provides. Michael Foot once claimed he'd "rather see nine people fraud the state then the state leave one genuinely needy person to starve". We shouldn't allow the 1 in 10 to mean draconian laws for the 9 in 10. But that is what knee jerk reactions to this and similar situations leads to. That's what we have to be on guard about. After all, don't forget that our beloved PM won the Anti-Nobel Peace Prize recently for this. This is the level of opposition we are dealing with.
But the press works on soundbytes, so I guess the soundbyte here would be: They are all to blame. The Tories showed weak leadership and willingness to crack down on the vulnerable in society, claiming "We're all in this together!" The Met have form and history. The rioters succumbed to base instincts. The bloody weather. The councils, who path over play parks and seem disinterested in anything but profit. The Home Office who ignored all warning signs. An education system that has edged in favour of "profit over education".
When I was three, mum gave me the greatest gift in life I could ever have. A library card. We came from a poor area till I was 10, and the path that library card gave me - the ability to read, the thirst for knowledge, for experience - was the one thing that separated me from every other person in my class where, to the best of my knowledge, I was one of the only children to wind up at university. I remain as impotently raging as the rest at polices, racism, etc. The only difference between me and the looters, I guess, is that I fall back to the writing, because it's the only thing I've got. I feel for those who don't even have that, through no fault of their own.
So right wing or left wing? Couldn't tell you. I know that I stand on the side of the vulnerable against those who wish to exploit, harm, and victimize them. I know that knee jerk reactions and soundbytes wont solve a situation. I also know that violence never pays. We can only hope that the lessons stemming from this nightmare are greater tolerance, better education and less victimising of the innocent. Sadly, on previous form of all the leaders involved, the exact opposite can be expected.
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
Monday, 8 August 2011
The Outpost
After reading up about one of Jim Steel's pals, and their unfortunate run in with a serial plagiarizer, I began to get a bit worried about one of my own stories.
The Outpost had been accepted for publication over a year ago, and despite one attempt to find out what was happening - these attempts are infrequent like most things, a victim of my terrible memory - it had gone MIA.
So on investigation there, I found the story had been published after all. Heart in mouth? No, credited to me, and available for the masses. All good. Phew!
So thanks to Static Movement, and The Outpost is here.
Funny thing about this story. When I said in the pub that I was going to attempt a proper SF story, the nearest writers were aghast! My reputation with SF, despite that love of Doctor Who, has never been a strong one, much to my family's distaste. But still, the idea came, and so I ran with it. I believe it is also one of the first stories in which I name dropped Duncan Lunan's Politics of Survival into the story.
In the great Jim Steel tradition, we have characters named after Duncan Lunan/Jim Campbell, Tom Jordan, Alan Steel, Seumas, and cameos by my late grandfathers Bob and George. Still, writing is autobiography exaggerated. Sorry the name dropped die, it's that kind of a story. As with the project it was originally planned for, it was stream-of-thought ala Virginia Woolf.
What kind of a story? End of the world. Only hopes for humanity was to reach out to the stars, which they did. There was a snag though. The second last survivor of a forgotten Outpost monologues his dying moments to the last survivor.
It's an old story now, four years old in fact, and not as representative of me any more. Looking back at it is like looking at the work of a stranger. Am I disappointed? Not really. The prose is more purple, less refined, the jokes more forced, the voice not yet found. But it still needs to exist. Only by seeing how your work improves can point you in the direction to further improvement, after all. I'm not sure I'd passed Wilde's "Faust or Christ" phase either, hell, I'm not sure if most writers DO.
So... The Outpost. I like it, even if I'd rewrite it now. But then, perfectionism never lets one go.
The Outpost had been accepted for publication over a year ago, and despite one attempt to find out what was happening - these attempts are infrequent like most things, a victim of my terrible memory - it had gone MIA.
So on investigation there, I found the story had been published after all. Heart in mouth? No, credited to me, and available for the masses. All good. Phew!
So thanks to Static Movement, and The Outpost is here.
Funny thing about this story. When I said in the pub that I was going to attempt a proper SF story, the nearest writers were aghast! My reputation with SF, despite that love of Doctor Who, has never been a strong one, much to my family's distaste. But still, the idea came, and so I ran with it. I believe it is also one of the first stories in which I name dropped Duncan Lunan's Politics of Survival into the story.
In the great Jim Steel tradition, we have characters named after Duncan Lunan/Jim Campbell, Tom Jordan, Alan Steel, Seumas, and cameos by my late grandfathers Bob and George. Still, writing is autobiography exaggerated. Sorry the name dropped die, it's that kind of a story. As with the project it was originally planned for, it was stream-of-thought ala Virginia Woolf.
What kind of a story? End of the world. Only hopes for humanity was to reach out to the stars, which they did. There was a snag though. The second last survivor of a forgotten Outpost monologues his dying moments to the last survivor.
It's an old story now, four years old in fact, and not as representative of me any more. Looking back at it is like looking at the work of a stranger. Am I disappointed? Not really. The prose is more purple, less refined, the jokes more forced, the voice not yet found. But it still needs to exist. Only by seeing how your work improves can point you in the direction to further improvement, after all. I'm not sure I'd passed Wilde's "Faust or Christ" phase either, hell, I'm not sure if most writers DO.
So... The Outpost. I like it, even if I'd rewrite it now. But then, perfectionism never lets one go.
Sunday, 7 August 2011
Europa League Round 2, first legs
In Round One we saw managers lose their jobs over brash predictions, misses so shocking they knocked teams out of Europe before the postcards were made, and lots and lots of goals. The teams who survived Round One would be met by a team from the greatest nation in the world, Scotland. Yeah, another blink and you miss it Scottish European performance. Also showing up were sides from Greece, Switzerland, Denmark, Holland, Portugal, Turkey and a whole range of top twenty countries.
With some of my favoured underdogs facing winnable but tense ties, some unforgettable minutes, shocks, and heart attack inducing seconds were to follow.
SECOND ROUND
Shakhtar Karagandy, to recap, beat Koper in Round 1, to the annoyance of everyone in Slovenia. Karagandy are 3rd in the Kazak Premier League as it stands, and Kazakhstan in general are just one big result away from being quite good indeed. They have big crowds fanatic about football, they have some good teams, they just need the inner belief. But it will come.
St Patricks Athletic were a post away from exiting to IBV, but stayed in they did, and so it was the long trip to Karaganda, closer to China than it is to mainland Europe.
There were no goals in the first half, but soon after the break, Shakhtar had a corner, and a ball floated in met the head of Vasiljevic, who knocked it into the back of the net. The Kazaks went mad, whilst there were signs of argument between the Irish players, hints of things not quite right for St Pats.
All well and good for the Kazaks, to the delight of their loud and many fans, until ten minutes before the end, when they gave away a needless free kick. The ref took his time ordering the players back the required distance. The would be free kick taker parried allowing his partner to strike viciously into the right corner of the net, but the goalkeeper produced a big save, tipping it almost out for a corner. Sadly, the ball, in one of those big moments of luck you get in a season, landed on the byeline but not over it, so it was still a live ball. The nearest Irish player kicked the ball over the heads of the Kazak defence and one of two Irish players bundled the ball into the back of the net. David McMillan credited with the goal. Just like the massive stroke of luck in Round One, St Pats had had an even bigger stroke of luck here. A crucial away goal!
As he ran off to celebrate, leaping into the air with a sinking to his knees as adeptly finished as his goal, the audio picked a clear “Woohoo!” from McMillan. He knew as well as we did how big that goal was for his club.
And replays were to show it was an even bigger slice of luck for the Irish than first thought, as it is very dubious as to if that ball DIDN’T actually cross the bye line immediately after the goalkeepers save, making a controversial decision, even if the referee’s eyesight and line of vision turn out to have been far better than the cameras.
Now in the olden days, and by olden days I mean a decade ago, Kazak teams would fall apart after this sort of decision went against them. But over the decade, they’ve started developing more backbone. So it was to no surprise Karagandy swept forward looking for a winner, and to their credit they got it. A long throw in met the looping header of Vasiljevic who scored his second header of the match. The keeper had no chance, the move was so sudden. It was done so well Stoke City would have applauded it.
Karagandy won 2-1 in the First Leg, but a tough night was promised in Ireland to come. And a narrow win, with an away goal conceded, always spells danger.
**
Metalurg Rustavi took on Irtysh, Kazak overthrowers of Partick Thistle wannabes Jagliellonia. In a tense match, Kvakhadze headed into the net in the 72nd minute to give the Georgians the lead. However, the advantage for the second leg came through one of the worst goals of the tournament. A free kicked majestically floated in met a Rustavi defender who fell to ground for no reason. The ball hit an attacker who scuffed it, but it deflected off two Georgians and the keeper had already gone to ground for it, so he watched aimlessly as the ball slipped past him and Daskalov practically fell over himself slotting the ball home. Art, it wasn’t, but an away draw it was. Irtysh had been unseeded in Round 1, and were now favourites to reach Round 3, which would have been a phenomenal achievement.
**
Scottish sides in Europe tend to last about as long as the average rabbit lasts in a tiger enclosure. There have been some ignominious exits in recent years (Dunfermline 1-2 Harfnarjardour, Dundee United 2-2 MyPa, Vaduz 2-1 Falkirk, to name but three).
The last sacrificial offering on the altar that is UEFA’s second tier competition was Dundee United, and the high priests, Slask Wroclaw of Poland. The Polish weren’t that well known, but I congratulated them on the 3rd round qualifying before this tie had even begun. Dundee United were listless, and the goal was always going to come, though it didn’t come till fifteen minutes before the end. Voskamp the scorer, and it ended 1-0 for Slask.
Some readers might remember that Irtysh lost 1-0 in Poland in Round 1 and that 1-0 for a home side in the first leg is not an insurmountable lead for a second leg. But as a spoiler, you didn’t take into account the Scottish factor into that theory.
Polish sides are figured by Poles to be even worse. Who could win this tie then?
I was only half-joking when I claimed it would go as follows:
“ "And at Tannadice, nervous scenes here in the penalty shootout. The goalkeeper of Slask is coming up to take a penalty. It is 0-0 as it stands in the shootout. 2-2 on aggregate, four unfortunate own goals across the 2 legged tie. Dundee United have missed 14 penalties in this shootout, but Slask missed 3 penalties before the shootout, including one that scientists claim was physically impossible to miss by all known laws of nature."
3 hours later...
"And UEFA have decided to decide this tie on rock paper scissors..."
4 hours later.
"Ok, rock paper scissors led to too many ties. UEFA will now draw one team out of random from a hat."
5 minutes later.
"Who put BOTH teams names on all the bits of paper?"
UEFA then decides to do something coefficientish to sort it out, and a 30 page thread is started on this forum about the decision. “
**
Rad met Olympiakos Volou (given I have been told it is Volou and Volos, I walk a tightrope however I spell it!), a team absolutely mired in a myriad of controversy. The Rad of last season might well have won, but this was the Rad of this season, and the only goal, though three minutes from time, had an air of inevitability about it. Juan Martin the scorer for OV, their first European goal.
**
Three ultra exciting matches here. Gaz Metan were a late replacement into Europe, after Timisoara were denied a Romanian top flight licence and were relegated. The drama in Romania never ends on the pitch, indeed, one might call the on-field bits the least exciting, but then that would do a disservice to a rather underrated league.
So Gaz Metan, from Medias, had no plans to be in Europe till just before the competition. They faced KuPS of Finland and lost 1-0 in the away leg. Hinted to be a short stay in Europe for the unexpected Romanians.
Next up, Flamurtari took on Jablonec, a team from the Czech Republic I’d like to see more of. It was regulation stuff, a 2-0 away win for the Czechs all but see them through. And then it was Varazdim’s time to show up again, this time getting a 1-1 away draw with Iskra Stal of Moldova.
**
Ask a hundred well versed European football fans what they’d expect from Tauras v Den Haag, and almost all of them would predict a thumping. The ones that wouldn’t would bring Den Haags inexperience in Europe into question, and certainly it would be a factor. Even so, a match against Tauras, a side who had recently lost 3-0 to Banga (yes, the side thumped by Qarabag in Round 1, well remembered!) wasn’t expected to be of much difficulty.
In the very early going Den Haag nailed in a free kick, but it was well saved by the Lithuanian keeper Borysenko. Den Haag built up some steam with a nice passing game, quickly passing from one end of the pitch to the other, and an insightful pass found Verhoek free but the keeper was swift to block him. Another ball lofted into into the box after passing which tore the Lithuanians apart, and Immers smashed the ball across the goal instead of in. Den Haag were looking very promising, and it looked a question of “how many?” as opposed to “when?”.
But the defence was looking questionable. Dilly dallied on the ball allowing the Lithuanian forwards to dispossess them, then the keeper fluffed getting rid of the ball. Too often free kicks were given away.
In the 56th minute came disaster for the Dutch. A long ball up field was knocked on weakly by Luksik, allowing Jerkovic to move free into the box. Luksik panicked and took down the attacker. Result: a red card and a penalty for Tauras! Coutinho fell far too early to try and save the shot allowing Jerkovic to slot it easily into the net. The Lithuanians led!
Immediately after, Tauras gave a free kick, the keeper was in no mans land and the ball was hoofed off the line. The Tauras manager Gedemenas Jarmalavicius could be seen, notes in his hand, yelling at his players to keep calm. But the Dutch continued to race forward, and only Borysenko was keeping them at bay, just and no more. No one was that surprised when a swift past on the edge of the box found Immers in front of an open goal, who duly slotted in. The Lithuanians all thought it was incredibly offside, and whilst it was 50/50, it did sort of look like Immers was onside when the ball was played.
Regilio Seedorf had something to say about this ‘outrage’. The younger cousin of multiple times European Cup winner Clarence, he grabbed the ball from kick off, went around two players, and then from the edge of the box fired into the back of the net! Unstoppable, bloody genius. Everyone watched stood and applauded. I gave the goal a standing ovation, and I was alone in my bedroom watching on a laptop. Tauras led 2-1! Seedorfs reaction to his magic was about as close to an “eat my goal” exclamation without having Alan Partridge sitting next to you.
Once more Tauras were the architects of their own downfall though. The ball looped into the net, and Toornstra got it, before Zubavicius got him! Penalty for Den Haag, and Immers made no errors to get his and Den Haags 2nd.
Finally in the 94th minute, Den Haag broke forward, broke the offside trap, a swerving pass broke the goalkeeper and Sirevicius fumbled the ball into his own net. Disaster and tragedy for Tauras, who had put so much into an enthralling game, only to fall apart at the seems.
Den Haag were so wobbly at times it is disastrous to think how they might have done drawn against Minsk or even KupS, the other unseeded sides in their section. They got the easiest draw on paper, and were highly fortunate to do so.
**
Another mini-round up. I am very fond of Austrian football, so Austria Wien’s 3-0 away win over Rudar of Montenegro pleased me immensely. Austrian football have a “big four” I like to watch – also Rapid Wien, Sturm Graz and Salzburg – but this year Rapid were replaced by underdogs Reid who won the Cup final.
Westerlo had to wait 93 minutes before snatching the only goal away to TPS. Bnei Yehuda, highly rated Israelis, saw off St Julia of Andorra with the 2-0 away scoreline. Minsk, conquerors of Nazim, found themselves with the same home score that they gave AZAL in Round 1. A 1-1 home draw with Gaziantepspor. Orebro and Sarajevo played out a 0-0. Ventspils in injury time, through Kosmacovs, got the away win over Salihorsk of Belarus.
A second half goal was enough for Valerenga to get the home win over Mika.
**
Ferencvaros were once the biggest team in Hungary, and feared throughout Europe. Reaching three European finals from 1965 to 1975, and beating scalps like Manchester United (with Best, Law and Charlton), Roma, Shankly’s Liverpool (followed by Paisley’s Liverpool!) showed them as one of the most feared sides in Europe.
The last ten years have been turmoil for the once massive club though. After entering the Stock Exchange to counter financial difficulties, and spending loads on an anti-racism campaign to quell some crowd problems, the results began to dry up.
Once feared, they were now relying on drawing Millwall to advance, or being ousted by the mighty MTZ Ripo (now better known as Partizan Minsk). The club were ousted for financial reasons from the Hungarian top flight, and it looked like the end of an era, more so when they didn’t go straight back up. The relegation was controversial at the time, and Ferencvaros has since won a legal fight against the Hungarian FA that said the FA was working outside its own rules.
In 2008 came some better news, as Sheffield United chairman Kevin McCabe (!) bought the club’s real estate, and paid off most of the £5m debts. In 2009, Ferencvaros got their promotion. Last season, they finished 3rd, qualifying for Europe for the first time since 2005. I didn’t even like Ferencvaros in their previous reign, but you can’t help but admire a club who refuse to die even when the world seems against them.
We saw briefly that they had a comfortable Round 1 over James Joyce’s Ulisses (sorry). Now they took on Aalesunds. Aalesunds are a Norwegian club founded nearly a century ago, but their first major success came only in 2009, when they won the Norwegian Cup, beating Molde in the final. Hey , good things come to those who wait!
This gave them their first ever European tie, where inexperience dealt them a killer blow, as they actually lost to a Scottish side! A Motherwell managed by well respected coach Craig Brown though, so that’s not quite so bad. Aalesunds had seen off the Keystone Cops of Neath in Round 1, but had shown enough shaky moments to remind that European football is still very new for them, and they were still learning at this level. They are however, alongside their regional rivals Molde (top of the Norwegian league as it stands, with Ole Gunnar Solksjaer as their manager) one of the swiftest rising sides in Europe, so whilst you may not have heard of them now, you will.
The first leg was in Hungary. This entire match is currently available on YouTube, incidentally. Aalesund had fallen behind to Neath, but took the lead here. Jovanovic with the foul on Jaager just outside the box, Barrantes took the kick very quickly before barely anyone could react, and Okoronkwo smashed the header into the net with the force of a tiger rushing to an “all you can eat fresh meat buffet”.
The passing that lead to Ferencvaros’ equalizer though, was sublime, and more clichéd commentators would refer to the Magical Magyars. But not me. Except there. Ahem. The ball passed through to Olah, offside only seconds before, and this time onside he swept the ball home. 1-1.
There was nothing the Norwegians could do about the winner, a goal out of the screamer variety. Ferencvaros had just missed a corner, and the ball was aimlessly in the corner of the match, when the quick thinking Jozsi passed to Abdi who was on the left just outside of the box. Oh the trajectory needed to score from there! And yet he did, the swooping kick sailing at an angle around the defence and into the top corner of the net. Look, I’ll use hyperbole for a second to sell this: if he tried that a thousand times more it would not go in the net. Sublime.
Ferencvaros held the 2-1 lead to take to Norway. With nearly forty fouls, it was a feisty game. There was certain to be further drama to come.
**
Hacken took on Honka, those winners in the game over Nomme we matched previously. This was a game of two goalkeepers, only Hacken’s Kallkvist and Honka’s Maanoja prevented this game ending ten-all. And some of the saves. A triple save off the line while on the ground for Kallkvist, and a point blank save from Maanoja. It would need something special to win this game. Instead, we got a reckless challenge in the box from Heilala, giving Mathias Ranegie the chance to score from the spot. Michael’s only scorer in the RFF Summer tournament barely stabbed at the ball, but still surprised the keeper long enough for the ball to slide into the net. And that was the only goal for the game.
**
Anorthosis saw off Gagra 3-0, 2-0 by half time.
**
I was asked before the match not to jinx AEK Larnaca of Cyprus – “Root for Floriana Michael so that AEk wins” - , so indeed I spoke highly of their opposition, those well known giant killers from Malta, Floriana. (No, they aren’t well known. Or giant killers.) Larnaca scored 4 minutes into the match, and that was as good as it got for the Maltese. By half time it was 5-0 to the away side. Three more well to follow in the second half, rounding off a solid 8-0 away victory for the Cypriots, and at that point, even the most pessimistic of fans had to think they were in the Third Round already.
**
Maccabi Tel Aviv continued the comeback trail in Europe, taking on Xazar of Azerbaijan. I still remember the mass excitement in 2005 when Avi Nimni, Maccabi Tel Aviv’s greatest ever player, returned to the club. After a brief absence from Europe, they returned with a bang last season, KOing Olympiakos from Europe before running Paris St-Germain very close, losing 5-4 on aggregate.
I must admit to the blink and you’ll miss it syndrome, as this game was 1-0 when I went to put my dinner on, and when I came back I just caught Xazars Muresan slotting away the free kick goal, at which point it was 3-1 Maccabi! Konate’s fumbled opener had been added to by Adars smash after a low cross, and another low cross lead to terrible goalkeeping, terrible fumbling and the ball crossing the line for Israilevich.
So 3-1 it finished. Now, Maccabi Tel Aviv’s biggest ever defeat was 10-0 to Maccabi Haifa, but only a 2-0 win was needed to see them out in the second leg. Was it possible? Well, Azerbaijan is never an easy place to visit these days.
**
Llanelli raised the flag for the Welsh with a surprise 2-1 win over Dinamo Tbilisi.
Elfsborg continued their unconvincing run for a seeded side, draw 1-1 in Lithuania with Suduva, a side I still remember for their 10-1 aggregate defeat to Celtic.
Olimpija continued their resurrection with a fine 2-0 victory over Irish Bohemians in Ljublijana.
Differdange of Luxembourg got a shock draw with Estonian Levadia Tallinn, the best rated Estonian side to be in the Europa League this season. And the only one left after the other two conspired to exit in Round 1. 0-0 was also the scoreline as Tirana and Vllaznia of Albania held Trnava and the Swiss Thun respectively.
Vojvodina got a 2-0 away win over the only Liechtenstien team in Europe, Vaduz, and so had nearly two feet in the Third Round. Qarabag scraped a 1-1 draw in the Faroes with EB, Paks and Tromso played out a 1-1 in Hungary, with Kecskement and Aktobe doing the same.
The Macedonian Arsenal Rabotnicki got their win late over Juvenes of San Marino, Petkovski in the 86th minute sparring their blushes. No repeat of the heroics for Glentoran as they lost 2-0 at home to Vorskla.
Portuguese Nacional were very lucky to escape Iceland with a 1-1 draw against FH, fast improving Icelandic side. Only the post prevented an Icelandic win, which would have been a complete embarrassment.
Fans of Macedonia and Bulgaria will be delighted to know Metalurg Skopje v Lokomotiv Sofia ended in a 0-0 draw, the biggest talking point being the vast number of fouls committed, Metalurg having fouled 29 times to Lokomotiv’s 27! Lokomotiv claimed they weren’t ready for the new season yet, and here they set out to prove it.
**
Latvian fans can look away here. Austrian superpowers Salzburg, who 2 seasons ago had the record of 6-0-0 in a group with Lazio and Villarreal, took on Metalurgs Liepajas, the upstarts who ended Skonto Rigas stranglehold over Latvian football. Alan, who might well be our very own AlanK (but probably isn’t) scored a hat trick for the Austrians, and the 4-1 away win was comfortable.
**
Little was expected of Welsh TNS in Round 2 despite their first round heroics, as they were drawn with Midjytlland of Denmark, so it was to their credit that they went in at half time still goalless. It was a massive shock, though, when Evans forced in the Marriot corner, and TNS led!
Jeff Stelling, former host of Countdown and long time host of Soccer Saturday, used to joke “They’ll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight!” whenever they won, a reference back to the hapless English pundit who announced the same of Raith Rovers when they won the League Cup, not realising there is no such place as Raith. (The team come from Kirkcaldy, just like former UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown!) “They’ll be dancing on the streets of The New Saints” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, TNS having changed their sponsors and name, but there was bound to have been dancing in Oswestry all the same! TNS moved homes, having previously represented Llansantffraid-ym-Mechain, but I’m afraid those looking for pronunciations will have to look elsewhere!
Hassan scored six minutes later for Midjtylland to spoil the party. Two late goals, a penalty from Olsen, and a 95th minute strike from Mads Albaek, sealed a 3-1 away win for the Danish, and TNS, though they had their moments in Europe, looked on the brink of another early exit.
**
Fears in Slovenia over Domzale v RNK Split proved to be well founded as the Croats won 2-1 away from home. Slovenia never have good luck in matches against Croatia.
Also, and back in Iceland, I guess if you are going to produce a seeding shock, you might as well do it with style. Zilina are well known to football fans, after their win over Aston Villa a few years back, and there not as successful attempts at the Champions League last season. This time, they took on KR of Iceland. And lost 3-0. A stunning result for KR, but good results in Iceland for Icelandic sides are becoming less rare as the seasons roll on. It would be very difficult for Zilina to over turn it in Slovakia though.
**
Finally, time to say some nice things about Fulham. They won. There you go. Crusaders of Northern Ireland have some scary fans, and it is a tough place to go to, so winning comfortably despite being held for long periods of the match was a great success for the English sides. Briggs opener was equalised by Adamson for Crusaders, but second half goals for Zamora and Murphy (from the penalty spot) sealed the away win and put them in touching distance of Round 3.
With the unexpected length of the Round 2 first leg round ups, the second legs will follow soon!
With some of my favoured underdogs facing winnable but tense ties, some unforgettable minutes, shocks, and heart attack inducing seconds were to follow.
SECOND ROUND
Shakhtar Karagandy, to recap, beat Koper in Round 1, to the annoyance of everyone in Slovenia. Karagandy are 3rd in the Kazak Premier League as it stands, and Kazakhstan in general are just one big result away from being quite good indeed. They have big crowds fanatic about football, they have some good teams, they just need the inner belief. But it will come.
St Patricks Athletic were a post away from exiting to IBV, but stayed in they did, and so it was the long trip to Karaganda, closer to China than it is to mainland Europe.
There were no goals in the first half, but soon after the break, Shakhtar had a corner, and a ball floated in met the head of Vasiljevic, who knocked it into the back of the net. The Kazaks went mad, whilst there were signs of argument between the Irish players, hints of things not quite right for St Pats.
All well and good for the Kazaks, to the delight of their loud and many fans, until ten minutes before the end, when they gave away a needless free kick. The ref took his time ordering the players back the required distance. The would be free kick taker parried allowing his partner to strike viciously into the right corner of the net, but the goalkeeper produced a big save, tipping it almost out for a corner. Sadly, the ball, in one of those big moments of luck you get in a season, landed on the byeline but not over it, so it was still a live ball. The nearest Irish player kicked the ball over the heads of the Kazak defence and one of two Irish players bundled the ball into the back of the net. David McMillan credited with the goal. Just like the massive stroke of luck in Round One, St Pats had had an even bigger stroke of luck here. A crucial away goal!
As he ran off to celebrate, leaping into the air with a sinking to his knees as adeptly finished as his goal, the audio picked a clear “Woohoo!” from McMillan. He knew as well as we did how big that goal was for his club.
And replays were to show it was an even bigger slice of luck for the Irish than first thought, as it is very dubious as to if that ball DIDN’T actually cross the bye line immediately after the goalkeepers save, making a controversial decision, even if the referee’s eyesight and line of vision turn out to have been far better than the cameras.
Now in the olden days, and by olden days I mean a decade ago, Kazak teams would fall apart after this sort of decision went against them. But over the decade, they’ve started developing more backbone. So it was to no surprise Karagandy swept forward looking for a winner, and to their credit they got it. A long throw in met the looping header of Vasiljevic who scored his second header of the match. The keeper had no chance, the move was so sudden. It was done so well Stoke City would have applauded it.
Karagandy won 2-1 in the First Leg, but a tough night was promised in Ireland to come. And a narrow win, with an away goal conceded, always spells danger.
**
Metalurg Rustavi took on Irtysh, Kazak overthrowers of Partick Thistle wannabes Jagliellonia. In a tense match, Kvakhadze headed into the net in the 72nd minute to give the Georgians the lead. However, the advantage for the second leg came through one of the worst goals of the tournament. A free kicked majestically floated in met a Rustavi defender who fell to ground for no reason. The ball hit an attacker who scuffed it, but it deflected off two Georgians and the keeper had already gone to ground for it, so he watched aimlessly as the ball slipped past him and Daskalov practically fell over himself slotting the ball home. Art, it wasn’t, but an away draw it was. Irtysh had been unseeded in Round 1, and were now favourites to reach Round 3, which would have been a phenomenal achievement.
**
Scottish sides in Europe tend to last about as long as the average rabbit lasts in a tiger enclosure. There have been some ignominious exits in recent years (Dunfermline 1-2 Harfnarjardour, Dundee United 2-2 MyPa, Vaduz 2-1 Falkirk, to name but three).
The last sacrificial offering on the altar that is UEFA’s second tier competition was Dundee United, and the high priests, Slask Wroclaw of Poland. The Polish weren’t that well known, but I congratulated them on the 3rd round qualifying before this tie had even begun. Dundee United were listless, and the goal was always going to come, though it didn’t come till fifteen minutes before the end. Voskamp the scorer, and it ended 1-0 for Slask.
Some readers might remember that Irtysh lost 1-0 in Poland in Round 1 and that 1-0 for a home side in the first leg is not an insurmountable lead for a second leg. But as a spoiler, you didn’t take into account the Scottish factor into that theory.
Polish sides are figured by Poles to be even worse. Who could win this tie then?
I was only half-joking when I claimed it would go as follows:
“ "And at Tannadice, nervous scenes here in the penalty shootout. The goalkeeper of Slask is coming up to take a penalty. It is 0-0 as it stands in the shootout. 2-2 on aggregate, four unfortunate own goals across the 2 legged tie. Dundee United have missed 14 penalties in this shootout, but Slask missed 3 penalties before the shootout, including one that scientists claim was physically impossible to miss by all known laws of nature."
3 hours later...
"And UEFA have decided to decide this tie on rock paper scissors..."
4 hours later.
"Ok, rock paper scissors led to too many ties. UEFA will now draw one team out of random from a hat."
5 minutes later.
"Who put BOTH teams names on all the bits of paper?"
UEFA then decides to do something coefficientish to sort it out, and a 30 page thread is started on this forum about the decision. “
**
Rad met Olympiakos Volou (given I have been told it is Volou and Volos, I walk a tightrope however I spell it!), a team absolutely mired in a myriad of controversy. The Rad of last season might well have won, but this was the Rad of this season, and the only goal, though three minutes from time, had an air of inevitability about it. Juan Martin the scorer for OV, their first European goal.
**
Three ultra exciting matches here. Gaz Metan were a late replacement into Europe, after Timisoara were denied a Romanian top flight licence and were relegated. The drama in Romania never ends on the pitch, indeed, one might call the on-field bits the least exciting, but then that would do a disservice to a rather underrated league.
So Gaz Metan, from Medias, had no plans to be in Europe till just before the competition. They faced KuPS of Finland and lost 1-0 in the away leg. Hinted to be a short stay in Europe for the unexpected Romanians.
Next up, Flamurtari took on Jablonec, a team from the Czech Republic I’d like to see more of. It was regulation stuff, a 2-0 away win for the Czechs all but see them through. And then it was Varazdim’s time to show up again, this time getting a 1-1 away draw with Iskra Stal of Moldova.
**
Ask a hundred well versed European football fans what they’d expect from Tauras v Den Haag, and almost all of them would predict a thumping. The ones that wouldn’t would bring Den Haags inexperience in Europe into question, and certainly it would be a factor. Even so, a match against Tauras, a side who had recently lost 3-0 to Banga (yes, the side thumped by Qarabag in Round 1, well remembered!) wasn’t expected to be of much difficulty.
In the very early going Den Haag nailed in a free kick, but it was well saved by the Lithuanian keeper Borysenko. Den Haag built up some steam with a nice passing game, quickly passing from one end of the pitch to the other, and an insightful pass found Verhoek free but the keeper was swift to block him. Another ball lofted into into the box after passing which tore the Lithuanians apart, and Immers smashed the ball across the goal instead of in. Den Haag were looking very promising, and it looked a question of “how many?” as opposed to “when?”.
But the defence was looking questionable. Dilly dallied on the ball allowing the Lithuanian forwards to dispossess them, then the keeper fluffed getting rid of the ball. Too often free kicks were given away.
In the 56th minute came disaster for the Dutch. A long ball up field was knocked on weakly by Luksik, allowing Jerkovic to move free into the box. Luksik panicked and took down the attacker. Result: a red card and a penalty for Tauras! Coutinho fell far too early to try and save the shot allowing Jerkovic to slot it easily into the net. The Lithuanians led!
Immediately after, Tauras gave a free kick, the keeper was in no mans land and the ball was hoofed off the line. The Tauras manager Gedemenas Jarmalavicius could be seen, notes in his hand, yelling at his players to keep calm. But the Dutch continued to race forward, and only Borysenko was keeping them at bay, just and no more. No one was that surprised when a swift past on the edge of the box found Immers in front of an open goal, who duly slotted in. The Lithuanians all thought it was incredibly offside, and whilst it was 50/50, it did sort of look like Immers was onside when the ball was played.
Regilio Seedorf had something to say about this ‘outrage’. The younger cousin of multiple times European Cup winner Clarence, he grabbed the ball from kick off, went around two players, and then from the edge of the box fired into the back of the net! Unstoppable, bloody genius. Everyone watched stood and applauded. I gave the goal a standing ovation, and I was alone in my bedroom watching on a laptop. Tauras led 2-1! Seedorfs reaction to his magic was about as close to an “eat my goal” exclamation without having Alan Partridge sitting next to you.
Once more Tauras were the architects of their own downfall though. The ball looped into the net, and Toornstra got it, before Zubavicius got him! Penalty for Den Haag, and Immers made no errors to get his and Den Haags 2nd.
Finally in the 94th minute, Den Haag broke forward, broke the offside trap, a swerving pass broke the goalkeeper and Sirevicius fumbled the ball into his own net. Disaster and tragedy for Tauras, who had put so much into an enthralling game, only to fall apart at the seems.
Den Haag were so wobbly at times it is disastrous to think how they might have done drawn against Minsk or even KupS, the other unseeded sides in their section. They got the easiest draw on paper, and were highly fortunate to do so.
**
Another mini-round up. I am very fond of Austrian football, so Austria Wien’s 3-0 away win over Rudar of Montenegro pleased me immensely. Austrian football have a “big four” I like to watch – also Rapid Wien, Sturm Graz and Salzburg – but this year Rapid were replaced by underdogs Reid who won the Cup final.
Westerlo had to wait 93 minutes before snatching the only goal away to TPS. Bnei Yehuda, highly rated Israelis, saw off St Julia of Andorra with the 2-0 away scoreline. Minsk, conquerors of Nazim, found themselves with the same home score that they gave AZAL in Round 1. A 1-1 home draw with Gaziantepspor. Orebro and Sarajevo played out a 0-0. Ventspils in injury time, through Kosmacovs, got the away win over Salihorsk of Belarus.
A second half goal was enough for Valerenga to get the home win over Mika.
**
Ferencvaros were once the biggest team in Hungary, and feared throughout Europe. Reaching three European finals from 1965 to 1975, and beating scalps like Manchester United (with Best, Law and Charlton), Roma, Shankly’s Liverpool (followed by Paisley’s Liverpool!) showed them as one of the most feared sides in Europe.
The last ten years have been turmoil for the once massive club though. After entering the Stock Exchange to counter financial difficulties, and spending loads on an anti-racism campaign to quell some crowd problems, the results began to dry up.
Once feared, they were now relying on drawing Millwall to advance, or being ousted by the mighty MTZ Ripo (now better known as Partizan Minsk). The club were ousted for financial reasons from the Hungarian top flight, and it looked like the end of an era, more so when they didn’t go straight back up. The relegation was controversial at the time, and Ferencvaros has since won a legal fight against the Hungarian FA that said the FA was working outside its own rules.
In 2008 came some better news, as Sheffield United chairman Kevin McCabe (!) bought the club’s real estate, and paid off most of the £5m debts. In 2009, Ferencvaros got their promotion. Last season, they finished 3rd, qualifying for Europe for the first time since 2005. I didn’t even like Ferencvaros in their previous reign, but you can’t help but admire a club who refuse to die even when the world seems against them.
We saw briefly that they had a comfortable Round 1 over James Joyce’s Ulisses (sorry). Now they took on Aalesunds. Aalesunds are a Norwegian club founded nearly a century ago, but their first major success came only in 2009, when they won the Norwegian Cup, beating Molde in the final. Hey , good things come to those who wait!
This gave them their first ever European tie, where inexperience dealt them a killer blow, as they actually lost to a Scottish side! A Motherwell managed by well respected coach Craig Brown though, so that’s not quite so bad. Aalesunds had seen off the Keystone Cops of Neath in Round 1, but had shown enough shaky moments to remind that European football is still very new for them, and they were still learning at this level. They are however, alongside their regional rivals Molde (top of the Norwegian league as it stands, with Ole Gunnar Solksjaer as their manager) one of the swiftest rising sides in Europe, so whilst you may not have heard of them now, you will.
The first leg was in Hungary. This entire match is currently available on YouTube, incidentally. Aalesund had fallen behind to Neath, but took the lead here. Jovanovic with the foul on Jaager just outside the box, Barrantes took the kick very quickly before barely anyone could react, and Okoronkwo smashed the header into the net with the force of a tiger rushing to an “all you can eat fresh meat buffet”.
The passing that lead to Ferencvaros’ equalizer though, was sublime, and more clichéd commentators would refer to the Magical Magyars. But not me. Except there. Ahem. The ball passed through to Olah, offside only seconds before, and this time onside he swept the ball home. 1-1.
There was nothing the Norwegians could do about the winner, a goal out of the screamer variety. Ferencvaros had just missed a corner, and the ball was aimlessly in the corner of the match, when the quick thinking Jozsi passed to Abdi who was on the left just outside of the box. Oh the trajectory needed to score from there! And yet he did, the swooping kick sailing at an angle around the defence and into the top corner of the net. Look, I’ll use hyperbole for a second to sell this: if he tried that a thousand times more it would not go in the net. Sublime.
Ferencvaros held the 2-1 lead to take to Norway. With nearly forty fouls, it was a feisty game. There was certain to be further drama to come.
**
Hacken took on Honka, those winners in the game over Nomme we matched previously. This was a game of two goalkeepers, only Hacken’s Kallkvist and Honka’s Maanoja prevented this game ending ten-all. And some of the saves. A triple save off the line while on the ground for Kallkvist, and a point blank save from Maanoja. It would need something special to win this game. Instead, we got a reckless challenge in the box from Heilala, giving Mathias Ranegie the chance to score from the spot. Michael’s only scorer in the RFF Summer tournament barely stabbed at the ball, but still surprised the keeper long enough for the ball to slide into the net. And that was the only goal for the game.
**
Anorthosis saw off Gagra 3-0, 2-0 by half time.
**
I was asked before the match not to jinx AEK Larnaca of Cyprus – “Root for Floriana Michael so that AEk wins” - , so indeed I spoke highly of their opposition, those well known giant killers from Malta, Floriana. (No, they aren’t well known. Or giant killers.) Larnaca scored 4 minutes into the match, and that was as good as it got for the Maltese. By half time it was 5-0 to the away side. Three more well to follow in the second half, rounding off a solid 8-0 away victory for the Cypriots, and at that point, even the most pessimistic of fans had to think they were in the Third Round already.
**
Maccabi Tel Aviv continued the comeback trail in Europe, taking on Xazar of Azerbaijan. I still remember the mass excitement in 2005 when Avi Nimni, Maccabi Tel Aviv’s greatest ever player, returned to the club. After a brief absence from Europe, they returned with a bang last season, KOing Olympiakos from Europe before running Paris St-Germain very close, losing 5-4 on aggregate.
I must admit to the blink and you’ll miss it syndrome, as this game was 1-0 when I went to put my dinner on, and when I came back I just caught Xazars Muresan slotting away the free kick goal, at which point it was 3-1 Maccabi! Konate’s fumbled opener had been added to by Adars smash after a low cross, and another low cross lead to terrible goalkeeping, terrible fumbling and the ball crossing the line for Israilevich.
So 3-1 it finished. Now, Maccabi Tel Aviv’s biggest ever defeat was 10-0 to Maccabi Haifa, but only a 2-0 win was needed to see them out in the second leg. Was it possible? Well, Azerbaijan is never an easy place to visit these days.
**
Llanelli raised the flag for the Welsh with a surprise 2-1 win over Dinamo Tbilisi.
Elfsborg continued their unconvincing run for a seeded side, draw 1-1 in Lithuania with Suduva, a side I still remember for their 10-1 aggregate defeat to Celtic.
Olimpija continued their resurrection with a fine 2-0 victory over Irish Bohemians in Ljublijana.
Differdange of Luxembourg got a shock draw with Estonian Levadia Tallinn, the best rated Estonian side to be in the Europa League this season. And the only one left after the other two conspired to exit in Round 1. 0-0 was also the scoreline as Tirana and Vllaznia of Albania held Trnava and the Swiss Thun respectively.
Vojvodina got a 2-0 away win over the only Liechtenstien team in Europe, Vaduz, and so had nearly two feet in the Third Round. Qarabag scraped a 1-1 draw in the Faroes with EB, Paks and Tromso played out a 1-1 in Hungary, with Kecskement and Aktobe doing the same.
The Macedonian Arsenal Rabotnicki got their win late over Juvenes of San Marino, Petkovski in the 86th minute sparring their blushes. No repeat of the heroics for Glentoran as they lost 2-0 at home to Vorskla.
Portuguese Nacional were very lucky to escape Iceland with a 1-1 draw against FH, fast improving Icelandic side. Only the post prevented an Icelandic win, which would have been a complete embarrassment.
Fans of Macedonia and Bulgaria will be delighted to know Metalurg Skopje v Lokomotiv Sofia ended in a 0-0 draw, the biggest talking point being the vast number of fouls committed, Metalurg having fouled 29 times to Lokomotiv’s 27! Lokomotiv claimed they weren’t ready for the new season yet, and here they set out to prove it.
**
Latvian fans can look away here. Austrian superpowers Salzburg, who 2 seasons ago had the record of 6-0-0 in a group with Lazio and Villarreal, took on Metalurgs Liepajas, the upstarts who ended Skonto Rigas stranglehold over Latvian football. Alan, who might well be our very own AlanK (but probably isn’t) scored a hat trick for the Austrians, and the 4-1 away win was comfortable.
**
Little was expected of Welsh TNS in Round 2 despite their first round heroics, as they were drawn with Midjytlland of Denmark, so it was to their credit that they went in at half time still goalless. It was a massive shock, though, when Evans forced in the Marriot corner, and TNS led!
Jeff Stelling, former host of Countdown and long time host of Soccer Saturday, used to joke “They’ll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight!” whenever they won, a reference back to the hapless English pundit who announced the same of Raith Rovers when they won the League Cup, not realising there is no such place as Raith. (The team come from Kirkcaldy, just like former UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown!) “They’ll be dancing on the streets of The New Saints” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, TNS having changed their sponsors and name, but there was bound to have been dancing in Oswestry all the same! TNS moved homes, having previously represented Llansantffraid-ym-Mechain, but I’m afraid those looking for pronunciations will have to look elsewhere!
Hassan scored six minutes later for Midjtylland to spoil the party. Two late goals, a penalty from Olsen, and a 95th minute strike from Mads Albaek, sealed a 3-1 away win for the Danish, and TNS, though they had their moments in Europe, looked on the brink of another early exit.
**
Fears in Slovenia over Domzale v RNK Split proved to be well founded as the Croats won 2-1 away from home. Slovenia never have good luck in matches against Croatia.
Also, and back in Iceland, I guess if you are going to produce a seeding shock, you might as well do it with style. Zilina are well known to football fans, after their win over Aston Villa a few years back, and there not as successful attempts at the Champions League last season. This time, they took on KR of Iceland. And lost 3-0. A stunning result for KR, but good results in Iceland for Icelandic sides are becoming less rare as the seasons roll on. It would be very difficult for Zilina to over turn it in Slovakia though.
**
Finally, time to say some nice things about Fulham. They won. There you go. Crusaders of Northern Ireland have some scary fans, and it is a tough place to go to, so winning comfortably despite being held for long periods of the match was a great success for the English sides. Briggs opener was equalised by Adamson for Crusaders, but second half goals for Zamora and Murphy (from the penalty spot) sealed the away win and put them in touching distance of Round 3.
With the unexpected length of the Round 2 first leg round ups, the second legs will follow soon!
Friday, 5 August 2011
Europa League
Football football football football football football football football.
Don't worry, not every post will be about football. But this one was requested by Jon Arnold.
I strongly believe that if it is worth becoming a fan of anything, you might as well go the whole way. There's no point for me in reading "A Christmas Carol", and then mentioning a liking for Dickens the rest of your life without struggling through Curiosity Shop, being befuddled by Bleak House, amazed by Tale of Two Cities, getting through the Ackroyd, reading his essays and articles, visiting his grave and family home and getting into an argument with a learned academic about the quality of the finish of Great Expectations. Dive right in and immerse yourself in all of the subject. Learning is good. Tackling the unknown. The unknown known can become a great friend, after all.
Football is much the same. A great game is a great game, if it be Barcelona v Real Madrid, or Dudelange v Differdange, or even as one person succinctly pointed out, Ayr United v my beloved Partick Thistle.
I came late to football. We can blame my Dad and godfather Len for this, as their idea of introducing 5 year old me to football was to take me to a match. Arthurlie vs Gala Fairydean to be exact, one of the few matches in history to rival Switzerland v Ukraine as one of the worst football matches of all time.
A decade later, I gave the sport another shot. This time it was the World Cup 2002, a slightly higher standard of football, and somewhere around the Irish getting an injury time equaliser against the mighty German national team, I was hooked. I mostly blame Senegal for this one. Them beating France interested me, then the shock of them beating Sweden hooked me forever. The end of Spain/Rep Ireland, from Ireland's goal to the heartbreak of penalties, was watched at my aunt's old house, with the entire family. When Juanfran missed his penalty, my granda Bob nearly jumped out of his sitting chair in delight, despite his need of two walking sticks to get around! And I was utterly hooked, and began annoying everyone with all the zealousness of a late convert.
One of the things I am most interested in is the Europa League, formerly known as the UEFA Cup. For all the talk of the Champions League, it is its lower cousin that gives me greater joy. That is where the unknown sides hide away, where the matches often are far better (memories of a stunning Hamburg/Bremen semi stick in my mind, as well as an unfancied Rabotnicki/Odense match). Anyone can win, upsets happen, teams that don't take it seriously get KO'd quite swiftly. Brilliant stuff.
We have just passed the 3rd Qualifying Round. There is only the Playoff round to go between now and the group stages. What's happened so far? A lot.
QUALIFYING ROUND 1.
We started off on the 30th June 2011, which seems a year ago. I've turned 25 and had my first wedding anniversary since then!
The tournament starts in the far off reaches of Europe, in Armenia, where Banants of the capital Yerevan, playing in Pyunik's Hanrapetakan Stadium as their own stadium didn't meet UEFA standards (something that comes up often with smaller clubs) huffed and puffed against Metalurg Rustavi of Georgia. The Georgians are a rising nation once more, but Metalurg took a long time to break down Banants, the only goal of the first leg coming from Kobalia in the 48th minute. Armenian sides aren't known for their quality, and whilst this was a fighting display - though great chances were missed by the Georgians - it was still a defeat and no points.
About points, every game in Europe earns the country the team plays for points. These points are all added up then divided by the number of teams playing in Europe for that country. Half-points for a draw. The final divided score at the end of the season is added to the previous four seasons score, and this is how coefficients are worked out. Coefficients being the "not-that-complicated-as-the-press-claims" way of deciding who starts in what round, who gets seeded, and what countries get the most sides in Europe. So Banants here got 0 points despite the closeness of the match. 0-1 is the same as 0-11 is the same as 5-7.
***
After the draw, I made a few comments on the ties. I repeat them for posterity as follows:
"TNS v Cliftonville has me interested in a perverse sense.
Honka v Nomme (Well, I look out for Estonian sides and Finnish sides. Think the Finns will be too strong!)
Fulham v NSI. Not a team I am familiar with, so there's the sense of the exotic in the early rounds.
Aalesund and Renova should get past weak British opposition.
Koper have a tough tie. 50/50 in gut feeling, depends how both teams travel. Koper didnt do anything like how I'd have hoped last year.
Qarabag have a Lithuanian side I am unaware of - Banga - so should get through.
After our discussion of Rad, they get a very easy Round 1 tie.
Jagielliona/Irtysh is another tough tie for me, as I'd like to see both Polish and Kazak football on the up.
Ditto Minsk/AZAL, though an Azerbaijan win there would be a bit of an upset.
Olimpija/Siroki and Zeta/Trnava are too tough to predict also.
Could it be easier for Elfsborg? If they arent in Round 3 they need a strong look at themselves.
"
Alan Hansen, I'm not.
I note it is dangerous to link "unknown" teams with "easy" teams, and unfortunately all fans fall into that trap. Even though I try to be 'enlightened' I do too!
**
AZAL Baku finished 4th in Azerbaijan last season, and their manager, Nazim Suleymanov, was confident. They had drawn Minsk, in theory a tough task, but Nazim was still confident. He claimed if AZAL didn't qualify for the 2nd round, he would quit as manager. He certainly couldn't have been happy when Minsk got the opener and away goal eleven minutes in! A free kick from the centre circle found its way out deep on the right to the Minsk winger, he passed it swiftly through two players and it founded its way to Voronkov who rifled it into the net.
0-1 Minsk, and Suleymanov was probably rephrasing his brash predictions. The stadium for this match I loved, with vast pictures of footballing heroes around 3/4s of the stadium. It was unique, exotic and so very football! Not to worry for Azeri fans, a floating header from a corner three minutes later saw them level, Ibekoyi with the header. It was a cracking game with plenty of chances for more goals, but none followed. So 1-1, good result for Minsk. Nazim was praying to the footballing gods for an upset in Minsk.
AZAL didn't look outclassed by Minsk, but the away goal will probably prove crucial as they didn't look too dangerous in front of goal either. Looks like the AZAL manager WILL lose his job then!
***
Qarabag, a side who first came into prominence KOing Rosenborg 2 years ago, and another Azeri side, made no errors in the first round, sweeping four away from home against the outmatched Lithuanians Banga. 2-0 at HT, 4-0 at FT. Efficient, ruthless and calculating performance. Qarabag have come so close to making the Group stages in the last two years, but their lack of seeding brings them up against higher quality opposition and they bow out. Would this be their year? A familiar Scottish writer certainly hoped so!
***
I praised Rabotnicki as the Macedonian Arsenal to Liverpool fans last year and they were a damp squid. Sods law. This year they were in Round 1 against Trans Narva, one of the few and short appearances by an Estonian team in this write up. Sorry, Gavin. The M.A. (Macedonian Arsenal) made short work of Estonian minnows, comprehensively winning 4-1 away from home. The only bright spark was a the ten minute period before and after half time, when the Estonians were briefly level once more.
***
Rad swept Tre Penne 6-0. Tre Penne are a team from San Marino. Rad are Serbian, and I had made the error of mistaking them for OFK Belgrade, another Serbian team.
***
Tromso (Norway) got a convincing win over Daugava of Latvia, 0-5.
***
Elfsborg, a Swedish side seeded to reach the Playoff round in 3 rounds time, took on Fola Esch of Luxembourg. Luxembourg club sides do produce surprises more frequently than their national team, but you had to look elsewhere for surprises here, as the highly rated Swedes took them apart 4-0. Job done.
***
A rare bright spot for Estonia! Nomme, one of the most brilliantly named teams in Europe, held FC Honka of Finland to a 0-0 draw, in Vantaa. This gave the Estonians every chance of making it to Round 2. The top Estonian side in the competition, Levadia Tallinn, had been given a bye to Round 2, and were seeded as a result of their win over Wisla Krakow the other season. Would we see two Estonian sides in Round 2?
***
Varteks used to be a known side in Europe. Now they are called Varazdin, and started against Lusitanos, of Andorra. They even had the charity of giving the Andorrans a goal early in the second half through Bertran, but goals from Safaric (2), Glavica, Glavina and Vugrinec gave the Croats a useful 4 goal lead to take to Andorra.
A helpful person from Bert Kassies European football forum tells me that Varteks was the name of the sponsors, but they have left, so the team is now named after the town. This has been very unpopular with the fans, so soon they might revert back to the familiar name, even if that company provide no money whatsoever anymore.
I also found out the nickname of Varazdin is "the dressmakers" as Varteks is a clothes maker. See, you go in for the football and learn all kinds of interesting facts about society!
***
Ferencvaros, crack Hungarians, were back in Europe after a lengthy absence, and had a nice task, more Armenians. Ulisses, whose naming so similar to my least favourite book gives them an uphill task for sympathy from me, were subsequently bossed away 3-0 in Hungary.
***
Paksi scored early against Santa Coloma of Andorra, and that was the only goal of the game. The Hungarians are a side we shall mention in greater detail to come.
***
Welsh rarebit here. Neath took on Aalesund. Aalesund were on the hands of a rare Scottish victory in Europe last season, but have improved massively since then. Welsh teams are amongst the ten worst club nations in Europe. Sorry Jon, Phil et all. There did however look to be a massive shock on the cards, when Lee Trundle opened the scoring for Neath, and it was an away goal into the bargain. Yes, the very same Trundle once of Swansea. And a great goal it was too, a stunning unstoppable free kick sailing in from the edge of the box. The keeper could do nothing about it, and the Welsh lead away from home! Aalesunds fans looked like a Welsh dragon had stepped on their ancestors graves!
The Norwegians were on the ropes for ten minutes or so, until Aalesund leveled. The Welsh defence should have prevented several passes around the box, and the goalkeeper shouldn't have been beaten by Fuhre from outside the box, but fumbled and let the ball go over him and in. Disaster for the Welsh, and it only got worse from then on. The wind was in the Norwegian sails, like the Viking ships of old (the link was too obvious for me to avoid, sorry) and the Welsh side backed right away from the Norwegian attack, giving them plenty of space.
Any closing down by at least three players would have prevented Sylling Olson's goal, but back off they continued to do, allowing to snake around them and slot the ball. Again from just outside the area, but once more the goalkeeper failed to deal with a reasonably savable shot and now it was 2-1 Aalesund. Still a good result to take to Wales, but it was not to be for Neath.
Into the second half, once more the defence backed away instead of closed down, and Aalesund swiftly tore through the defence, leading to the beleaguered goalkeeper taking down the attacker in the box. A yellow card to add to the goalkeepers terrible day at the office, and a penalty to face to boot! To give credit to the Neath keeper, no one could have saved the penalty, swift and powerful into the top corner. Great penalty by Ulvestad.
Welsh heads were down, the defence continued to be rubbish, and despite the referee being charitable and deny a second penalty that looked nailed on, they let Aalesund keep the ball anyway, and soon after Sellin scored the 4th. Again from outside the box, again the keeper should have done better.
Neath started with a great opportunity. They ended beaten badly, with their confidence utterly ruined by a serious of bad errors throughout the defence. It didn't look good for the Welsh 2nd leg.
***
Dinamo Tbilisi took on Milsami, won 2-0.
***
Trnava of Slovakia had the Montenegrin side Zeta, and came away with a highly impressive 3-0 first leg win.
***
The Faroes v Iceland is one of the great derbies of the early rounds, if we can call it a derby. Here we had ÍF Fuglafjørður vs KR Reykjavík, IF v KR for short. The Faroes took the lead, but KR scored thrice to get a good away result.
***
IBV of Iceland got a 1-0 win over St Patricks Athletic, one of the better Irish sides, thanks to a 50th minute penalty from Andri Olaffson.
***
I know Hacken well, as the star of my summer RFF team, Mathias Ranegie, plays for them. They were nearly embarrassed, as five minutes from time da Cruz of Kaerjeng scored, to make it 1-0 for the Luxembourg side. In the 4th minute of added on time, Ostberg saved the Swedish blushes with the last kick of the game, an equaliser. Not a great start for the Swedish side though.
***
Wales v Northern Ireland, TNS v Cliftonville, Darlington and Johnstons first half goals meant a 1-1 draw in Wales. Another bad result for a Welsh side.
***
Fulham got into Europe via the Fairplay award, given to the three best countries for fairplay in the previous season. They took on a Faroes side who have never scored more than two goals in European history, as a first leg 3-0 win practically sealed it for the English.
***
Jagiellonia took forever to score against Kazak Irtysh, finally getting a goal via Frankowski in the 80th minute. They looked nervous though, could have easily added more to that one goal, but just couldn't find the back of the net. Early season jitters, but so often they can be crucial. Irtysh were lucky to escape with just the one goal defeat.
***
Maltese Birkirkara vs Albanian Vllaznia, but Vllaznia are developing a reputation for being hard to beat, and here they fought out a tight away win, the only goal from Sukaj coming as early as the 2nd minute.
***
Renova v Glentoran ended 2-1 to the Macedonians, Nixons first half injury time goal producing the crucial away goal for Glentoran. Had Bajirami not scored with three minutes to go, the result would have been even better for the Northern Irish side.
***
Hooray! Koper have scored in the 84th minute! Oh. Shakhtar Karagandy have scored in the 94th. Slovenian sides are on the slide, and a 1-1 home draw to the Kazaks was not the best cure for it.
***
A 0-0 away to Siroki of Bosnia was a far better tonic for Olimpija though. Since Dusan Kosic took over as manager of the Slovenian side ravaged unfairly by finance in the last decade, they have been a form side. Once a major player in Slovenia, the future looks bright for them.
***
And Flamurtari, beaten 2 years ago by Motherwell 8-2 on aggregate, surprised me with a good 3-1 away win over Buducnost of Montenegro.
You can travel all over Europe, but a 1000 odd fans chanting "Cheat" at a player who gets away with a handballish incident in the box sounds the same all over!
SECOND LEGS
I'd said Koper being held 1-1 at home was a bad draw. In Europe, away goals count double, so if there is a score tie, the most away goals wins it.
For example, Koper v Karagandy ended 1-1 in Slovenia. Advantage Karagandy. If the second leg ended 2-2, Koper would advance, as the aggregate score would be 3-3, but Koper would have 2 away goals to the Kazak's 1.
Osterc scored midway through the first half for Koper, to give them belief of an away win. Karagandy's Konysbayev scored just before half time, leveling the tie on aggregate.
A level tie with no away goal advantage at the end of both legs goes to extra time, and maybe even penalties. That looked on the cards here, until with six minutes left, Konysbayev scored his and Karagandys 2nd, to win the tie 3-2 on aggregate and send the Slovenians out very early.
Last year Koper went out of the Champions League in Round 1, 5-4 on aggregate to Dinamo Zagreb. Once more this season, it was close but not close enough, and an early exit.
***
Metalurg Rustavi scored early, and lead 2-0 on aggregate against luckless Banants. So far so good. Then, with twenty minutes to go, they needlessly gave away a penalty, and Du Bala converted. 1-1 on the night, and here is the twist - suddenly, another goal for Banants would put them in a qualifying position. They pushed hard for it, and gave the Georgians some frights, but Rustavi held on in a match they should never have been in trouble in.
Banants out, but with a lot of pride, and a useful half point for the Armenian coefficient. Rustavi were through, and needed to improve fast.
***
Remember how I said that Irtysh were lucky to escape back to Pavlodar only 1-0 down? That the Poles should have been many goals up, and only their profligacy in front of goal prevented it?
Well, so turns the twists of European football. The Kazaks came out all guns blazing, and the Poles suffered a most advanced case of stage fright. The tap in after a barely saved header from Coulibaly to level the tie should have produced a massive warning for Jagiellonia, but they were rooted to the spot. Irtysh's stadium is an Olympic one, and Coulibaly ran the whole 400m track to celebrate. Before half time, Maltsev scored from well outside the box, nearer the halfway line than the box, and the Kazaks were winning. The Poles had the whole 2nd half to score the one goal that would take them through, but couldn't, and so their wasted opportunities in the first leg cost them dear. Jagiellonia had strips that looked like those of Partick Thistle, but alas for them, they also played like the Jags.
A big win for Irtysh, who moved on into Round 2. A wasted opportunity, and a massive one at that, for the Poles.
Irtysh/Jagliellona was a tie of two home games. Both teams looked more dangerous at home than away, and the Poles were more shaky away so lost.
That said, they missed an absolutely "can't miss" chance at 2-0 down which would have qualified them. You can't miss those chances in Europe.
***
Ferencvaros were already three goals up from the home leg, so a 2-0 away win was a professional performance, putting any Armenian resistance from Ulisses to sleep.
***
Buducnost got the away result they wanted in Flamurtari to make up for the home defeat, but 2-1 wasn't good enough, and so the unfancied Albanians went into Round 2.
***
Dinamo Tbilisi finished the job comfortably against Milsami, 3-1 away, the only Moldovan goal coming in injury time after a Georgian 90th minute penalty, but before a 95th minute Tbilisi goal. Yes, 3 goals in injury time!
***
Zeta v Trnava threatened to peter out. Then in the 79th and 81st minute, Zeta scored twice, and suddenly the tie was one goal away from extra time. Not to worry for the Slovakians, Ciprys scored with the last kick of the game to put it beyond any doubt. Away defeat for Trnava, but 2-1 was a safe result after their big home performance the week before.
***
Qarabag, having won 4-0 against Banga in Lithuania, won 3-0 in Azerbaijan to win 7-0 on aggregate. I was happy.
***
The first cracks in Elfsborgs side were shown as they were held 1-1 by Fola Esch. The first leg result meant the Swedes qualified, but being held by a Luxembourg side regardless is never a promising result.
***
Nomme got their great draw away in Finland. Could they capitalise? The Estonian defence was a comedy of errors in the first half, and only great goalkeeping and some bizarre misses kept Honka off the score sheet early on. But then the Estonians rallied, and had two great chances, one going just wide of the post, the second a bouncing ball just tipped clear by the Honka keeper. Honka came back roaring, and again a good save prevented them taking the lead. Right at the end of the half, Nomme had a great run to the edge of the box, their player pulled the ball back, it was met with a big kick, but rolled just to the wrong side of the net. You couldn't get closer from scoring.
Sadly for Estonian fans, that was the pivotal moment. Shortly after half time, Honka got in the box, and this time Demba Savage made no errors, slotting it home. 0-1, and now Nomme needed 2 goals to avoid an early exit. They had a brilliant chance, as the Estonian forward rounded the fallen keeper but dilly dallied too long on the ball allowing the keeper to snatch it fairly. The Estonian defence were being magnificent though. Soon after Savage rounded the keeper and shot viciously into the net, but the last man on the line chested it away. But it wasn't to be for Nomme. In the briefest instant of a second, Honka just beat the offside trap, and Dudu scored the clinching goal for Honka. Nomme had done so well, and tried so hard, but squandered some vital chances, and you just can't do that at this level.
Had the early chances in the first half gone in, had the great chance at 0-1 gone in, Nomme would have qualified. Instead, Honka escaped.
***
Could Lusitanos get 4 goals and KO Varazdin? No. The only goal came on 62 from Brlecic, but the tie was as dead as a Victorian lady long before.
***
No mistakes for Tromso, the 2-1 home win easing them through.
***
The previous embarrassment ended for Hacken with a 5-1 win over Kaerjeng. Though a da Cruz goal to make it 2-1 meant another goal would send Hacken out, they regrouped to score thrice more and comfortably qualify, after a number of scares.
Report card - Must try much better.
***
Vllaznia did the trick shown above. Go 2-0 up, concede, then hang on. Birkirkara with the draw for Malta, but Vllaznia limp through to Round 2.
***
Minsk v AZAL Baku. Could AZAL do it and save Nazim's job? Five minutes in, the winger danced around the Baku defence like they were traffic cones, slotted the ball into the box, and Loshankov produced the most exquisite headed goal, floating at an angle that would gave Professors of Mathematics wild dreams into the corner of the net. Our pal Nazim was swiftly updating his CV.
When facing exit in Europe, I'll tell you one thing not to do as a defence. Do not weakly head the ball down in front of you, into the path of the oncoming attacker. Do not stand awed as he takes the ball and sweeps past you. Do not let your goalkeeper rush wildly out of the goal then fall over, letting said attacker run around him. Do not let, with the rest of the defence run after him, assuming there is no way he can score from the impossible 0% angle between the byeline and the net. Do not then let him swing the ball over and your head and into the net.
In other words, don't do what AZAL did here. If that sounds like the cross between Keystone Cops defending, and majesty of a fine forward, then yes, it was both. High art and farce linked side by side. The scorer was Sascheko, the timing was eleven minutes in, the aggregate was 3-1 Minsk and the Azeri manager was a dead duck.
Usim Nduka, that very Azeri defender I slaughtered above, then completed a fine afternoon, hacking down Sascheko as he was through on goal. Fouling as the last man between the attacker and the goal carries an automatic red card in football, so off he went.
Down to 10 men, 3-1 down. You know, I often find brash predictions in football are swiftly met by retribution from the football karma gods. Poor Nazim.
A rare Azeri attack let Sachivko, with his mind on the 2nd round, deflect the ball into his own net. 2-1 and suddenly any goal for the Azeris would qualify them, despite all of this.
And you know, I was rooting for that goal. Say all you want about their indisipline, their errors, their violence, their boasting, AZAL had been tremendous entertainment. So had Minsk, both teams putting forward a memorable tie.
That next goal never came though, so Minsk beat AZAL 3-2 on aggregate. True to his word, Nazim Suleymanov left his post shortly after, resigning on that very day after the match. At his next club, he should remember this lesson. AZAL have a good squad though, and should qualify for Europe again for next season.
Hopefully then they'll take their chances better!
***
NSI v Fulham ended 0-0. The Faroes were never to score the 3 goals needed, so I shall charitably call this the English nicely handing the Faroes a point to aid their coefficient ranking. The Faroes recently falling near the bottom of the pile (51st of 53 European countries), they'll need all the help they can get.
***
Paksi finished off Santa Coloma 4-0.
***
Neath were still shaken from their calamity in Norway, and let Aalesund get the 2-0 away win to seal a 6-1 aggregate win that would have been much closer with a Welsh defence of any kind.
***
Rabotnicki saw off Trans 3-0 to add to the 4-1 away win. Rad got the 3-1 win in San Marino to add to their first leg demolition job. KR won 5-1 to comfortably win the battle against the Faores IF.
Glentoran won 2-1 against Renova. This went to penalties, and Glentoran won 3-2. Amazing result for the Irish side.
***
Delight for Slovenia, as Olimpija saw off Siroki with a good 3-0 home win.
***
A shocker in Northern Ireland, as TNS scored early and that was that. A Welsh victory in Europe? Surely not.
***
And finally, St Pats recovered from 1-0 down to win 2-0 in Ireland and send IBV crashing out, both goals coming before half time. The Icelanders played a short passing game, and the Irish didn't start well but got the two goals. At the very end, only the post kept IBV out and the Irish in Europe. Tight, but that's how these things go.
And that was the first round that was.
The 2nd and 3rd will follow over the weekend.
Don't worry, not every post will be about football. But this one was requested by Jon Arnold.
I strongly believe that if it is worth becoming a fan of anything, you might as well go the whole way. There's no point for me in reading "A Christmas Carol", and then mentioning a liking for Dickens the rest of your life without struggling through Curiosity Shop, being befuddled by Bleak House, amazed by Tale of Two Cities, getting through the Ackroyd, reading his essays and articles, visiting his grave and family home and getting into an argument with a learned academic about the quality of the finish of Great Expectations. Dive right in and immerse yourself in all of the subject. Learning is good. Tackling the unknown. The unknown known can become a great friend, after all.
Football is much the same. A great game is a great game, if it be Barcelona v Real Madrid, or Dudelange v Differdange, or even as one person succinctly pointed out, Ayr United v my beloved Partick Thistle.
I came late to football. We can blame my Dad and godfather Len for this, as their idea of introducing 5 year old me to football was to take me to a match. Arthurlie vs Gala Fairydean to be exact, one of the few matches in history to rival Switzerland v Ukraine as one of the worst football matches of all time.
A decade later, I gave the sport another shot. This time it was the World Cup 2002, a slightly higher standard of football, and somewhere around the Irish getting an injury time equaliser against the mighty German national team, I was hooked. I mostly blame Senegal for this one. Them beating France interested me, then the shock of them beating Sweden hooked me forever. The end of Spain/Rep Ireland, from Ireland's goal to the heartbreak of penalties, was watched at my aunt's old house, with the entire family. When Juanfran missed his penalty, my granda Bob nearly jumped out of his sitting chair in delight, despite his need of two walking sticks to get around! And I was utterly hooked, and began annoying everyone with all the zealousness of a late convert.
One of the things I am most interested in is the Europa League, formerly known as the UEFA Cup. For all the talk of the Champions League, it is its lower cousin that gives me greater joy. That is where the unknown sides hide away, where the matches often are far better (memories of a stunning Hamburg/Bremen semi stick in my mind, as well as an unfancied Rabotnicki/Odense match). Anyone can win, upsets happen, teams that don't take it seriously get KO'd quite swiftly. Brilliant stuff.
We have just passed the 3rd Qualifying Round. There is only the Playoff round to go between now and the group stages. What's happened so far? A lot.
QUALIFYING ROUND 1.
We started off on the 30th June 2011, which seems a year ago. I've turned 25 and had my first wedding anniversary since then!
The tournament starts in the far off reaches of Europe, in Armenia, where Banants of the capital Yerevan, playing in Pyunik's Hanrapetakan Stadium as their own stadium didn't meet UEFA standards (something that comes up often with smaller clubs) huffed and puffed against Metalurg Rustavi of Georgia. The Georgians are a rising nation once more, but Metalurg took a long time to break down Banants, the only goal of the first leg coming from Kobalia in the 48th minute. Armenian sides aren't known for their quality, and whilst this was a fighting display - though great chances were missed by the Georgians - it was still a defeat and no points.
About points, every game in Europe earns the country the team plays for points. These points are all added up then divided by the number of teams playing in Europe for that country. Half-points for a draw. The final divided score at the end of the season is added to the previous four seasons score, and this is how coefficients are worked out. Coefficients being the "not-that-complicated-as-the-press-claims" way of deciding who starts in what round, who gets seeded, and what countries get the most sides in Europe. So Banants here got 0 points despite the closeness of the match. 0-1 is the same as 0-11 is the same as 5-7.
***
After the draw, I made a few comments on the ties. I repeat them for posterity as follows:
"TNS v Cliftonville has me interested in a perverse sense.
Honka v Nomme (Well, I look out for Estonian sides and Finnish sides. Think the Finns will be too strong!)
Fulham v NSI. Not a team I am familiar with, so there's the sense of the exotic in the early rounds.
Aalesund and Renova should get past weak British opposition.
Koper have a tough tie. 50/50 in gut feeling, depends how both teams travel. Koper didnt do anything like how I'd have hoped last year.
Qarabag have a Lithuanian side I am unaware of - Banga - so should get through.
After our discussion of Rad, they get a very easy Round 1 tie.
Jagielliona/Irtysh is another tough tie for me, as I'd like to see both Polish and Kazak football on the up.
Ditto Minsk/AZAL, though an Azerbaijan win there would be a bit of an upset.
Olimpija/Siroki and Zeta/Trnava are too tough to predict also.
Could it be easier for Elfsborg? If they arent in Round 3 they need a strong look at themselves.
"
Alan Hansen, I'm not.
I note it is dangerous to link "unknown" teams with "easy" teams, and unfortunately all fans fall into that trap. Even though I try to be 'enlightened' I do too!
**
AZAL Baku finished 4th in Azerbaijan last season, and their manager, Nazim Suleymanov, was confident. They had drawn Minsk, in theory a tough task, but Nazim was still confident. He claimed if AZAL didn't qualify for the 2nd round, he would quit as manager. He certainly couldn't have been happy when Minsk got the opener and away goal eleven minutes in! A free kick from the centre circle found its way out deep on the right to the Minsk winger, he passed it swiftly through two players and it founded its way to Voronkov who rifled it into the net.
0-1 Minsk, and Suleymanov was probably rephrasing his brash predictions. The stadium for this match I loved, with vast pictures of footballing heroes around 3/4s of the stadium. It was unique, exotic and so very football! Not to worry for Azeri fans, a floating header from a corner three minutes later saw them level, Ibekoyi with the header. It was a cracking game with plenty of chances for more goals, but none followed. So 1-1, good result for Minsk. Nazim was praying to the footballing gods for an upset in Minsk.
AZAL didn't look outclassed by Minsk, but the away goal will probably prove crucial as they didn't look too dangerous in front of goal either. Looks like the AZAL manager WILL lose his job then!
***
Qarabag, a side who first came into prominence KOing Rosenborg 2 years ago, and another Azeri side, made no errors in the first round, sweeping four away from home against the outmatched Lithuanians Banga. 2-0 at HT, 4-0 at FT. Efficient, ruthless and calculating performance. Qarabag have come so close to making the Group stages in the last two years, but their lack of seeding brings them up against higher quality opposition and they bow out. Would this be their year? A familiar Scottish writer certainly hoped so!
***
I praised Rabotnicki as the Macedonian Arsenal to Liverpool fans last year and they were a damp squid. Sods law. This year they were in Round 1 against Trans Narva, one of the few and short appearances by an Estonian team in this write up. Sorry, Gavin. The M.A. (Macedonian Arsenal) made short work of Estonian minnows, comprehensively winning 4-1 away from home. The only bright spark was a the ten minute period before and after half time, when the Estonians were briefly level once more.
***
Rad swept Tre Penne 6-0. Tre Penne are a team from San Marino. Rad are Serbian, and I had made the error of mistaking them for OFK Belgrade, another Serbian team.
***
Tromso (Norway) got a convincing win over Daugava of Latvia, 0-5.
***
Elfsborg, a Swedish side seeded to reach the Playoff round in 3 rounds time, took on Fola Esch of Luxembourg. Luxembourg club sides do produce surprises more frequently than their national team, but you had to look elsewhere for surprises here, as the highly rated Swedes took them apart 4-0. Job done.
***
A rare bright spot for Estonia! Nomme, one of the most brilliantly named teams in Europe, held FC Honka of Finland to a 0-0 draw, in Vantaa. This gave the Estonians every chance of making it to Round 2. The top Estonian side in the competition, Levadia Tallinn, had been given a bye to Round 2, and were seeded as a result of their win over Wisla Krakow the other season. Would we see two Estonian sides in Round 2?
***
Varteks used to be a known side in Europe. Now they are called Varazdin, and started against Lusitanos, of Andorra. They even had the charity of giving the Andorrans a goal early in the second half through Bertran, but goals from Safaric (2), Glavica, Glavina and Vugrinec gave the Croats a useful 4 goal lead to take to Andorra.
A helpful person from Bert Kassies European football forum tells me that Varteks was the name of the sponsors, but they have left, so the team is now named after the town. This has been very unpopular with the fans, so soon they might revert back to the familiar name, even if that company provide no money whatsoever anymore.
I also found out the nickname of Varazdin is "the dressmakers" as Varteks is a clothes maker. See, you go in for the football and learn all kinds of interesting facts about society!
***
Ferencvaros, crack Hungarians, were back in Europe after a lengthy absence, and had a nice task, more Armenians. Ulisses, whose naming so similar to my least favourite book gives them an uphill task for sympathy from me, were subsequently bossed away 3-0 in Hungary.
***
Paksi scored early against Santa Coloma of Andorra, and that was the only goal of the game. The Hungarians are a side we shall mention in greater detail to come.
***
Welsh rarebit here. Neath took on Aalesund. Aalesund were on the hands of a rare Scottish victory in Europe last season, but have improved massively since then. Welsh teams are amongst the ten worst club nations in Europe. Sorry Jon, Phil et all. There did however look to be a massive shock on the cards, when Lee Trundle opened the scoring for Neath, and it was an away goal into the bargain. Yes, the very same Trundle once of Swansea. And a great goal it was too, a stunning unstoppable free kick sailing in from the edge of the box. The keeper could do nothing about it, and the Welsh lead away from home! Aalesunds fans looked like a Welsh dragon had stepped on their ancestors graves!
The Norwegians were on the ropes for ten minutes or so, until Aalesund leveled. The Welsh defence should have prevented several passes around the box, and the goalkeeper shouldn't have been beaten by Fuhre from outside the box, but fumbled and let the ball go over him and in. Disaster for the Welsh, and it only got worse from then on. The wind was in the Norwegian sails, like the Viking ships of old (the link was too obvious for me to avoid, sorry) and the Welsh side backed right away from the Norwegian attack, giving them plenty of space.
Any closing down by at least three players would have prevented Sylling Olson's goal, but back off they continued to do, allowing to snake around them and slot the ball. Again from just outside the area, but once more the goalkeeper failed to deal with a reasonably savable shot and now it was 2-1 Aalesund. Still a good result to take to Wales, but it was not to be for Neath.
Into the second half, once more the defence backed away instead of closed down, and Aalesund swiftly tore through the defence, leading to the beleaguered goalkeeper taking down the attacker in the box. A yellow card to add to the goalkeepers terrible day at the office, and a penalty to face to boot! To give credit to the Neath keeper, no one could have saved the penalty, swift and powerful into the top corner. Great penalty by Ulvestad.
Welsh heads were down, the defence continued to be rubbish, and despite the referee being charitable and deny a second penalty that looked nailed on, they let Aalesund keep the ball anyway, and soon after Sellin scored the 4th. Again from outside the box, again the keeper should have done better.
Neath started with a great opportunity. They ended beaten badly, with their confidence utterly ruined by a serious of bad errors throughout the defence. It didn't look good for the Welsh 2nd leg.
***
Dinamo Tbilisi took on Milsami, won 2-0.
***
Trnava of Slovakia had the Montenegrin side Zeta, and came away with a highly impressive 3-0 first leg win.
***
The Faroes v Iceland is one of the great derbies of the early rounds, if we can call it a derby. Here we had ÍF Fuglafjørður vs KR Reykjavík, IF v KR for short. The Faroes took the lead, but KR scored thrice to get a good away result.
***
IBV of Iceland got a 1-0 win over St Patricks Athletic, one of the better Irish sides, thanks to a 50th minute penalty from Andri Olaffson.
***
I know Hacken well, as the star of my summer RFF team, Mathias Ranegie, plays for them. They were nearly embarrassed, as five minutes from time da Cruz of Kaerjeng scored, to make it 1-0 for the Luxembourg side. In the 4th minute of added on time, Ostberg saved the Swedish blushes with the last kick of the game, an equaliser. Not a great start for the Swedish side though.
***
Wales v Northern Ireland, TNS v Cliftonville, Darlington and Johnstons first half goals meant a 1-1 draw in Wales. Another bad result for a Welsh side.
***
Fulham got into Europe via the Fairplay award, given to the three best countries for fairplay in the previous season. They took on a Faroes side who have never scored more than two goals in European history, as a first leg 3-0 win practically sealed it for the English.
***
Jagiellonia took forever to score against Kazak Irtysh, finally getting a goal via Frankowski in the 80th minute. They looked nervous though, could have easily added more to that one goal, but just couldn't find the back of the net. Early season jitters, but so often they can be crucial. Irtysh were lucky to escape with just the one goal defeat.
***
Maltese Birkirkara vs Albanian Vllaznia, but Vllaznia are developing a reputation for being hard to beat, and here they fought out a tight away win, the only goal from Sukaj coming as early as the 2nd minute.
***
Renova v Glentoran ended 2-1 to the Macedonians, Nixons first half injury time goal producing the crucial away goal for Glentoran. Had Bajirami not scored with three minutes to go, the result would have been even better for the Northern Irish side.
***
Hooray! Koper have scored in the 84th minute! Oh. Shakhtar Karagandy have scored in the 94th. Slovenian sides are on the slide, and a 1-1 home draw to the Kazaks was not the best cure for it.
***
A 0-0 away to Siroki of Bosnia was a far better tonic for Olimpija though. Since Dusan Kosic took over as manager of the Slovenian side ravaged unfairly by finance in the last decade, they have been a form side. Once a major player in Slovenia, the future looks bright for them.
***
And Flamurtari, beaten 2 years ago by Motherwell 8-2 on aggregate, surprised me with a good 3-1 away win over Buducnost of Montenegro.
You can travel all over Europe, but a 1000 odd fans chanting "Cheat" at a player who gets away with a handballish incident in the box sounds the same all over!
SECOND LEGS
I'd said Koper being held 1-1 at home was a bad draw. In Europe, away goals count double, so if there is a score tie, the most away goals wins it.
For example, Koper v Karagandy ended 1-1 in Slovenia. Advantage Karagandy. If the second leg ended 2-2, Koper would advance, as the aggregate score would be 3-3, but Koper would have 2 away goals to the Kazak's 1.
Osterc scored midway through the first half for Koper, to give them belief of an away win. Karagandy's Konysbayev scored just before half time, leveling the tie on aggregate.
A level tie with no away goal advantage at the end of both legs goes to extra time, and maybe even penalties. That looked on the cards here, until with six minutes left, Konysbayev scored his and Karagandys 2nd, to win the tie 3-2 on aggregate and send the Slovenians out very early.
Last year Koper went out of the Champions League in Round 1, 5-4 on aggregate to Dinamo Zagreb. Once more this season, it was close but not close enough, and an early exit.
***
Metalurg Rustavi scored early, and lead 2-0 on aggregate against luckless Banants. So far so good. Then, with twenty minutes to go, they needlessly gave away a penalty, and Du Bala converted. 1-1 on the night, and here is the twist - suddenly, another goal for Banants would put them in a qualifying position. They pushed hard for it, and gave the Georgians some frights, but Rustavi held on in a match they should never have been in trouble in.
Banants out, but with a lot of pride, and a useful half point for the Armenian coefficient. Rustavi were through, and needed to improve fast.
***
Remember how I said that Irtysh were lucky to escape back to Pavlodar only 1-0 down? That the Poles should have been many goals up, and only their profligacy in front of goal prevented it?
Well, so turns the twists of European football. The Kazaks came out all guns blazing, and the Poles suffered a most advanced case of stage fright. The tap in after a barely saved header from Coulibaly to level the tie should have produced a massive warning for Jagiellonia, but they were rooted to the spot. Irtysh's stadium is an Olympic one, and Coulibaly ran the whole 400m track to celebrate. Before half time, Maltsev scored from well outside the box, nearer the halfway line than the box, and the Kazaks were winning. The Poles had the whole 2nd half to score the one goal that would take them through, but couldn't, and so their wasted opportunities in the first leg cost them dear. Jagiellonia had strips that looked like those of Partick Thistle, but alas for them, they also played like the Jags.
A big win for Irtysh, who moved on into Round 2. A wasted opportunity, and a massive one at that, for the Poles.
Irtysh/Jagliellona was a tie of two home games. Both teams looked more dangerous at home than away, and the Poles were more shaky away so lost.
That said, they missed an absolutely "can't miss" chance at 2-0 down which would have qualified them. You can't miss those chances in Europe.
***
Ferencvaros were already three goals up from the home leg, so a 2-0 away win was a professional performance, putting any Armenian resistance from Ulisses to sleep.
***
Buducnost got the away result they wanted in Flamurtari to make up for the home defeat, but 2-1 wasn't good enough, and so the unfancied Albanians went into Round 2.
***
Dinamo Tbilisi finished the job comfortably against Milsami, 3-1 away, the only Moldovan goal coming in injury time after a Georgian 90th minute penalty, but before a 95th minute Tbilisi goal. Yes, 3 goals in injury time!
***
Zeta v Trnava threatened to peter out. Then in the 79th and 81st minute, Zeta scored twice, and suddenly the tie was one goal away from extra time. Not to worry for the Slovakians, Ciprys scored with the last kick of the game to put it beyond any doubt. Away defeat for Trnava, but 2-1 was a safe result after their big home performance the week before.
***
Qarabag, having won 4-0 against Banga in Lithuania, won 3-0 in Azerbaijan to win 7-0 on aggregate. I was happy.
***
The first cracks in Elfsborgs side were shown as they were held 1-1 by Fola Esch. The first leg result meant the Swedes qualified, but being held by a Luxembourg side regardless is never a promising result.
***
Nomme got their great draw away in Finland. Could they capitalise? The Estonian defence was a comedy of errors in the first half, and only great goalkeeping and some bizarre misses kept Honka off the score sheet early on. But then the Estonians rallied, and had two great chances, one going just wide of the post, the second a bouncing ball just tipped clear by the Honka keeper. Honka came back roaring, and again a good save prevented them taking the lead. Right at the end of the half, Nomme had a great run to the edge of the box, their player pulled the ball back, it was met with a big kick, but rolled just to the wrong side of the net. You couldn't get closer from scoring.
Sadly for Estonian fans, that was the pivotal moment. Shortly after half time, Honka got in the box, and this time Demba Savage made no errors, slotting it home. 0-1, and now Nomme needed 2 goals to avoid an early exit. They had a brilliant chance, as the Estonian forward rounded the fallen keeper but dilly dallied too long on the ball allowing the keeper to snatch it fairly. The Estonian defence were being magnificent though. Soon after Savage rounded the keeper and shot viciously into the net, but the last man on the line chested it away. But it wasn't to be for Nomme. In the briefest instant of a second, Honka just beat the offside trap, and Dudu scored the clinching goal for Honka. Nomme had done so well, and tried so hard, but squandered some vital chances, and you just can't do that at this level.
Had the early chances in the first half gone in, had the great chance at 0-1 gone in, Nomme would have qualified. Instead, Honka escaped.
***
Could Lusitanos get 4 goals and KO Varazdin? No. The only goal came on 62 from Brlecic, but the tie was as dead as a Victorian lady long before.
***
No mistakes for Tromso, the 2-1 home win easing them through.
***
The previous embarrassment ended for Hacken with a 5-1 win over Kaerjeng. Though a da Cruz goal to make it 2-1 meant another goal would send Hacken out, they regrouped to score thrice more and comfortably qualify, after a number of scares.
Report card - Must try much better.
***
Vllaznia did the trick shown above. Go 2-0 up, concede, then hang on. Birkirkara with the draw for Malta, but Vllaznia limp through to Round 2.
***
Minsk v AZAL Baku. Could AZAL do it and save Nazim's job? Five minutes in, the winger danced around the Baku defence like they were traffic cones, slotted the ball into the box, and Loshankov produced the most exquisite headed goal, floating at an angle that would gave Professors of Mathematics wild dreams into the corner of the net. Our pal Nazim was swiftly updating his CV.
When facing exit in Europe, I'll tell you one thing not to do as a defence. Do not weakly head the ball down in front of you, into the path of the oncoming attacker. Do not stand awed as he takes the ball and sweeps past you. Do not let your goalkeeper rush wildly out of the goal then fall over, letting said attacker run around him. Do not let, with the rest of the defence run after him, assuming there is no way he can score from the impossible 0% angle between the byeline and the net. Do not then let him swing the ball over and your head and into the net.
In other words, don't do what AZAL did here. If that sounds like the cross between Keystone Cops defending, and majesty of a fine forward, then yes, it was both. High art and farce linked side by side. The scorer was Sascheko, the timing was eleven minutes in, the aggregate was 3-1 Minsk and the Azeri manager was a dead duck.
Usim Nduka, that very Azeri defender I slaughtered above, then completed a fine afternoon, hacking down Sascheko as he was through on goal. Fouling as the last man between the attacker and the goal carries an automatic red card in football, so off he went.
Down to 10 men, 3-1 down. You know, I often find brash predictions in football are swiftly met by retribution from the football karma gods. Poor Nazim.
A rare Azeri attack let Sachivko, with his mind on the 2nd round, deflect the ball into his own net. 2-1 and suddenly any goal for the Azeris would qualify them, despite all of this.
And you know, I was rooting for that goal. Say all you want about their indisipline, their errors, their violence, their boasting, AZAL had been tremendous entertainment. So had Minsk, both teams putting forward a memorable tie.
That next goal never came though, so Minsk beat AZAL 3-2 on aggregate. True to his word, Nazim Suleymanov left his post shortly after, resigning on that very day after the match. At his next club, he should remember this lesson. AZAL have a good squad though, and should qualify for Europe again for next season.
Hopefully then they'll take their chances better!
***
NSI v Fulham ended 0-0. The Faroes were never to score the 3 goals needed, so I shall charitably call this the English nicely handing the Faroes a point to aid their coefficient ranking. The Faroes recently falling near the bottom of the pile (51st of 53 European countries), they'll need all the help they can get.
***
Paksi finished off Santa Coloma 4-0.
***
Neath were still shaken from their calamity in Norway, and let Aalesund get the 2-0 away win to seal a 6-1 aggregate win that would have been much closer with a Welsh defence of any kind.
***
Rabotnicki saw off Trans 3-0 to add to the 4-1 away win. Rad got the 3-1 win in San Marino to add to their first leg demolition job. KR won 5-1 to comfortably win the battle against the Faores IF.
Glentoran won 2-1 against Renova. This went to penalties, and Glentoran won 3-2. Amazing result for the Irish side.
***
Delight for Slovenia, as Olimpija saw off Siroki with a good 3-0 home win.
***
A shocker in Northern Ireland, as TNS scored early and that was that. A Welsh victory in Europe? Surely not.
***
And finally, St Pats recovered from 1-0 down to win 2-0 in Ireland and send IBV crashing out, both goals coming before half time. The Icelanders played a short passing game, and the Irish didn't start well but got the two goals. At the very end, only the post kept IBV out and the Irish in Europe. Tight, but that's how these things go.
And that was the first round that was.
The 2nd and 3rd will follow over the weekend.
Friday, 24 June 2011
Whotopia Issue 21
Whotopia issue 21 is available for download. Contains one article, two eulogies and own case of fawning by yours truly.
Also contains an article by Jon Arnold, contributor for Shooty Dog Thing, and a talented writer in his own right.
EDIT - Issue 21, not 17. Oops!
Also contains an article by Jon Arnold, contributor for Shooty Dog Thing, and a talented writer in his own right.
EDIT - Issue 21, not 17. Oops!
Saturday, 12 February 2011
FAO Glasgow Cuts Brigade and The Free Hetherington
Hi. I’m Michael S. Collins, a Glasgow writer, pest and Glasgow Uni alumni.
It’s funny. The last time I got myself involved in a protest at Glasgow University, I found myself censored off the radio. It was the Summer of 06, the students and the SRC were protesting for the rights of workers facing the axe to benefit the coffers of an unpopular Principal: sound familiar? That time around, it was Sir Muir Russell, and I was asked to give comment about the student protest supporting the staff. I said: “It is a good thing to behold, as any one principal who can announce the sacking of two thousand clerical and cleaning jobs as a budget cut on the same day he awards himself a hefty pay rise can only be described as an ethical coward.”
It never made the radio. I was clearly conspired against.
They say student protest is dead. Does student protest look dead to you, who see The Free Hetherington standing tall, proud and majestic against the tidal wave of uninspired for profit cuts hitting this fine institution? When over 300 pack the Queen Margaret Union in support of valued members of staff, pilloried for reasons of their degree? When two thousand plus are to take to protest? In Glasgow, the student protest is never dead, because Glasgow was the home of the social protest, born in a spirit of industrial downpour and working class thirst, and in Glasgow, the protest is never dead against injustice. Nor shall it.
If the economy states that we must throw academics to the wayside, and kill off subjects prematurely, and freeze out students across the country who would otherwise have taken the chance to go to uni, in the name of profit, then that economy is a false one and must be put down, in favour of one which supports the valued academics and the subjects. To those who say “There is no other way”, I say, to HELL with them, there’s always another way. Those with the money will find it, that is what they are born to do. We should not allow them to use this advantage to run rule over the vulnerable. Former Rector of this university, Jimmy Reid, once so eloquently put it: “Don’t get involved in the rat race. We’re not rats, we’re human beings.”
They say that jobs are being made at the uni. Fourteen medical professorships. And yet, they plan to kill off Nursing. Remind me again, who do they plan to run the hospitals of tomorrow, to do the actual day-to-day patient saving? Consultant doctors? Clearly less nurses is a good thing, after all, a sharp decrease in the terminally ill living would save the nation countless millions, and we are in a recession. Sack the nurses and bring in compulsory euthanasia, that’ll be the next step. There is little point in fourteen new professors, at the cost of thousands of jobs, and thousands of lost opportunities. It isn’t even a bandage to cover a decapitation, it is using a towel to wipe up the Somme.
The profits gained wont just cost good people jobs, or good people opportunities, they can in the long run only lead to good people losing their lives in the name of keeping the books. So they must be fought.
And for those who think business always wins. The uni council can’t be beaten. Well, a few years ago there was a sit in protest at the university. The uni was funding a company that was constructing bombs that were being used to hit Palestinian orphanages. Several students didn’t like this fact, so took over the computing labs and staged a sit in until said funding was cut. An anti-protest protest was started up, and I was asked for comment once more on the anti-protest. A quick email was sent, swiftly rebutting every one of the anti-protest’s points, sent to the leaders of the anti-protest, members of the council, and several leading newspapers. (Yes, asking me for comment is usually asking for trouble. It’s my grans Clan Cameron genes, you see!) The uni caved within 5 hours of the email being sent. I won’t take credit, as that’s most likely a coincidence, and my part is away to the side of the action – it’s just the part of the story I know. The sit-in worked, the funding stopped, and lives were most likely saved.
So if they buckle once, they will buckle again. If we keep our cool, and don’t give up. Some may try to lead you astray. Others may try to bully you. To intimidate you. Don’t let them win with their Iago ways. The path to victory is filled with potholes deeper than those usually found on Glasgow Roads, but like Glasgow Roads, they are traversable with effort.
So good luck. I salute you all. We are all proud of you. I know Glasgow University’s own Jimmy Reid would be too. As would those pioneers of social disobedience in Glasgow, the Red Clydesiders, including Glasgow University’s own Jimmy Maxton. This university has been the hotbed of successful protest for hundreds of years. All the alumni and your predecessors, alive and departed, are at your side at this turning hour.
May the day break bring a great success!
It’s funny. The last time I got myself involved in a protest at Glasgow University, I found myself censored off the radio. It was the Summer of 06, the students and the SRC were protesting for the rights of workers facing the axe to benefit the coffers of an unpopular Principal: sound familiar? That time around, it was Sir Muir Russell, and I was asked to give comment about the student protest supporting the staff. I said: “It is a good thing to behold, as any one principal who can announce the sacking of two thousand clerical and cleaning jobs as a budget cut on the same day he awards himself a hefty pay rise can only be described as an ethical coward.”
It never made the radio. I was clearly conspired against.
They say student protest is dead. Does student protest look dead to you, who see The Free Hetherington standing tall, proud and majestic against the tidal wave of uninspired for profit cuts hitting this fine institution? When over 300 pack the Queen Margaret Union in support of valued members of staff, pilloried for reasons of their degree? When two thousand plus are to take to protest? In Glasgow, the student protest is never dead, because Glasgow was the home of the social protest, born in a spirit of industrial downpour and working class thirst, and in Glasgow, the protest is never dead against injustice. Nor shall it.
If the economy states that we must throw academics to the wayside, and kill off subjects prematurely, and freeze out students across the country who would otherwise have taken the chance to go to uni, in the name of profit, then that economy is a false one and must be put down, in favour of one which supports the valued academics and the subjects. To those who say “There is no other way”, I say, to HELL with them, there’s always another way. Those with the money will find it, that is what they are born to do. We should not allow them to use this advantage to run rule over the vulnerable. Former Rector of this university, Jimmy Reid, once so eloquently put it: “Don’t get involved in the rat race. We’re not rats, we’re human beings.”
They say that jobs are being made at the uni. Fourteen medical professorships. And yet, they plan to kill off Nursing. Remind me again, who do they plan to run the hospitals of tomorrow, to do the actual day-to-day patient saving? Consultant doctors? Clearly less nurses is a good thing, after all, a sharp decrease in the terminally ill living would save the nation countless millions, and we are in a recession. Sack the nurses and bring in compulsory euthanasia, that’ll be the next step. There is little point in fourteen new professors, at the cost of thousands of jobs, and thousands of lost opportunities. It isn’t even a bandage to cover a decapitation, it is using a towel to wipe up the Somme.
The profits gained wont just cost good people jobs, or good people opportunities, they can in the long run only lead to good people losing their lives in the name of keeping the books. So they must be fought.
And for those who think business always wins. The uni council can’t be beaten. Well, a few years ago there was a sit in protest at the university. The uni was funding a company that was constructing bombs that were being used to hit Palestinian orphanages. Several students didn’t like this fact, so took over the computing labs and staged a sit in until said funding was cut. An anti-protest protest was started up, and I was asked for comment once more on the anti-protest. A quick email was sent, swiftly rebutting every one of the anti-protest’s points, sent to the leaders of the anti-protest, members of the council, and several leading newspapers. (Yes, asking me for comment is usually asking for trouble. It’s my grans Clan Cameron genes, you see!) The uni caved within 5 hours of the email being sent. I won’t take credit, as that’s most likely a coincidence, and my part is away to the side of the action – it’s just the part of the story I know. The sit-in worked, the funding stopped, and lives were most likely saved.
So if they buckle once, they will buckle again. If we keep our cool, and don’t give up. Some may try to lead you astray. Others may try to bully you. To intimidate you. Don’t let them win with their Iago ways. The path to victory is filled with potholes deeper than those usually found on Glasgow Roads, but like Glasgow Roads, they are traversable with effort.
So good luck. I salute you all. We are all proud of you. I know Glasgow University’s own Jimmy Reid would be too. As would those pioneers of social disobedience in Glasgow, the Red Clydesiders, including Glasgow University’s own Jimmy Maxton. This university has been the hotbed of successful protest for hundreds of years. All the alumni and your predecessors, alive and departed, are at your side at this turning hour.
May the day break bring a great success!
Sunday, 9 January 2011
IHAO
Our pal D1 of IHAO has a brilliant review of the terrible film Ready to Rumble up. His acting and video editing skills are coming up leaps and bounds, and is quite the talented reviewer.
So here's a plug to a friend and a talent. His logo was made up by mutual pal Matt Hoeker.
See - three degrees of separation...
So here's a plug to a friend and a talent. His logo was made up by mutual pal Matt Hoeker.
See - three degrees of separation...
Friday, 26 November 2010
November 2010 update
Slow Melt has been published as part of Menu 8 from 69 Flavors of Paranoia. It is the second story involving DCI Sembilan to make it into the public eye, though it was the first written. For those who haven't kept track on Sembilan's progress, he is basically a Glasgow cop ala Taggart, who winds up dealing with all manners of the supernatural. I set it in my native Glasgow, because as one punter put it to me "I could believe anything of that place - zombies, vampires, Indian burial grounds..."
The stories are also my tributes to my favourite horror writers and stories. In this manner, Slow Melt is a tribute to the work of E.F. Benson, specifically Negotium Peramambulans. A strange serial killer is stalking the criminal underworld, and only one dead conman seems to link what was left of the victims together. The police were stumped, until DCI Sembilan was brought on the case...
The first published Sembilan story was Character in Search of an Author, which you can read at this link here.
Multiple Choice is a simple tale. You get to choose if the victim lives or dies through simple choice. I loved Choose Your Own Adventure novels when I was younger, and this is a mini-tribute to them.
Some might say I came up with the last line first and worked backwards, but that is not entirely true: I came up with it second. As opposed to Curiosity Killed The Cat?, which was quite obviously a case of coming up with the last line first, and then swiftly writing a few hundred lines to justify that finish. But I make no apology for that, or my quality level of puns.
Breaking News is the remnant of a short sketch which I never performed, but by the time I am rich and famous and writing my memoirs I may have altered history to change that fact. It's either hilariously funny or makes no sense, bitingly satiric or stupid. There is possibly no middle ground.
I wrote it, so naturally I love it. Breaking news as our reporters stand by for the news breaking out imminently...
Scotland in Space started off as a first line, which I kept for ages. Then one day I decided to add to it. And the results are plain to see. I am not very good at Sci-Fi, so I kept this one short and to the point, to avoid any plotholes or dodgy science. In fact, there is still oodles of dodgy science and I get round that with my ever useful "Fantasy Not SF Writer" get out of jail free card. Find out what happens when Scotland takes to the stars.
I even managed to chuck in an admittedly subtle shout out to Duncan Lunan's laws/politics of survival.
Evil Machiavellian Identical Army. Have you ever wondered what would happen if an army of Penguins took over Number 10 Downing Street? So had I! So I wrote down a brief sketch of the end of democracy as we know it. This one is utterly bonkers, and so, like all of my utterly bonkers children, I love it utterly.
Issue 19 of Whotopia is due out any day, and should include my guide to the World's Cup. And no, that's the one genuine non-typo here.
The stories are also my tributes to my favourite horror writers and stories. In this manner, Slow Melt is a tribute to the work of E.F. Benson, specifically Negotium Peramambulans. A strange serial killer is stalking the criminal underworld, and only one dead conman seems to link what was left of the victims together. The police were stumped, until DCI Sembilan was brought on the case...
The first published Sembilan story was Character in Search of an Author, which you can read at this link here.
Multiple Choice is a simple tale. You get to choose if the victim lives or dies through simple choice. I loved Choose Your Own Adventure novels when I was younger, and this is a mini-tribute to them.
Some might say I came up with the last line first and worked backwards, but that is not entirely true: I came up with it second. As opposed to Curiosity Killed The Cat?, which was quite obviously a case of coming up with the last line first, and then swiftly writing a few hundred lines to justify that finish. But I make no apology for that, or my quality level of puns.
Breaking News is the remnant of a short sketch which I never performed, but by the time I am rich and famous and writing my memoirs I may have altered history to change that fact. It's either hilariously funny or makes no sense, bitingly satiric or stupid. There is possibly no middle ground.
I wrote it, so naturally I love it. Breaking news as our reporters stand by for the news breaking out imminently...
Scotland in Space started off as a first line, which I kept for ages. Then one day I decided to add to it. And the results are plain to see. I am not very good at Sci-Fi, so I kept this one short and to the point, to avoid any plotholes or dodgy science. In fact, there is still oodles of dodgy science and I get round that with my ever useful "Fantasy Not SF Writer" get out of jail free card. Find out what happens when Scotland takes to the stars.
I even managed to chuck in an admittedly subtle shout out to Duncan Lunan's laws/politics of survival.
Evil Machiavellian Identical Army. Have you ever wondered what would happen if an army of Penguins took over Number 10 Downing Street? So had I! So I wrote down a brief sketch of the end of democracy as we know it. This one is utterly bonkers, and so, like all of my utterly bonkers children, I love it utterly.
Issue 19 of Whotopia is due out any day, and should include my guide to the World's Cup. And no, that's the one genuine non-typo here.
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Story Updates
The Shark, Munich, The Stranger, To The Vote (State Censored Version), Hero of the Day, Character in Search of An Author and The Dying of the Dark have been added to the Online Fiction links on the right hand side.
The Shark was meant to be a children's poem, but then certain editors pointed it was a bit too much for that intended audience. A drowning man meets a shark in the middle of the sea, and prepares for the worst.
Munich is a silly poem about war which is neither historical accurate nor has any references to the German city in it. In fact, the title gives it a more grandoise feeling than it probably deserves, but there you go.
The Stranger is a sentimental piece you can find at Yesteryear fiction. It is almost a purely autobiographical tale, except for the bits which are fiction. A downtrodden man has a close encounter of the spiritual kind on a Glasgow bus.
To The Vote (State Censored Version) is a shortened version of a longer story for Calliope Nerve. Sadly, the shortened version cuts out the Tom Jordan in-joke, but one can't have it all. The government have placed the motion for debate on the internet forum, it is now down to the public to vote for the execution.
Hero of the Day is a traditional fairy tale (of sorts) for Thrillers, Chillers n Killers. Our hero will save the day, the damsel in distress and ward off the hordes of evil. At least, that's what he had hoped would happen...
Character in Search of an Author, for Darkest Before The Dawn. The writer was dead. The police were called. An open and shut case, no chance of a supernatural element. Unfortunately, the police sent in DCI Sembilan, and the truth is always twisted when he is on the case. Heavily inspired by L.P. Hartley.
The Dying of the Dark, for Powderburn Flash. An old man lies dying in a hospital ward, bathed in darkness. When the light arrives, he believes he will die. And this being the end, he has called for a priest. For his final confessional...
Also a note that "Dyatlov Pass" has been picked up by Dark Gothic Resurrected Magazine, and should be in the October issue.
"The Outpost" has also been picked up, by Static Movement magazine. No word on when it will be published as of yet, though.
The Shark was meant to be a children's poem, but then certain editors pointed it was a bit too much for that intended audience. A drowning man meets a shark in the middle of the sea, and prepares for the worst.
Munich is a silly poem about war which is neither historical accurate nor has any references to the German city in it. In fact, the title gives it a more grandoise feeling than it probably deserves, but there you go.
The Stranger is a sentimental piece you can find at Yesteryear fiction. It is almost a purely autobiographical tale, except for the bits which are fiction. A downtrodden man has a close encounter of the spiritual kind on a Glasgow bus.
To The Vote (State Censored Version) is a shortened version of a longer story for Calliope Nerve. Sadly, the shortened version cuts out the Tom Jordan in-joke, but one can't have it all. The government have placed the motion for debate on the internet forum, it is now down to the public to vote for the execution.
Hero of the Day is a traditional fairy tale (of sorts) for Thrillers, Chillers n Killers. Our hero will save the day, the damsel in distress and ward off the hordes of evil. At least, that's what he had hoped would happen...
Character in Search of an Author, for Darkest Before The Dawn. The writer was dead. The police were called. An open and shut case, no chance of a supernatural element. Unfortunately, the police sent in DCI Sembilan, and the truth is always twisted when he is on the case. Heavily inspired by L.P. Hartley.
The Dying of the Dark, for Powderburn Flash. An old man lies dying in a hospital ward, bathed in darkness. When the light arrives, he believes he will die. And this being the end, he has called for a priest. For his final confessional...
Also a note that "Dyatlov Pass" has been picked up by Dark Gothic Resurrected Magazine, and should be in the October issue.
"The Outpost" has also been picked up, by Static Movement magazine. No word on when it will be published as of yet, though.
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Matt Hoeker
Matt Hoeker
Matt is a talented young artist from Saskatoon,SK. His pictures, not just in the realms of wrestling drawings, but fantastic visions and his talent is rightfully gaining him fans in the illustration business.
(A picture/story collaboration has interested me, but you know how it is with busy people!)
But anyhow, there is a link to some of Matt's work. Enjoy!
Matt is a talented young artist from Saskatoon,SK. His pictures, not just in the realms of wrestling drawings, but fantastic visions and his talent is rightfully gaining him fans in the illustration business.
(A picture/story collaboration has interested me, but you know how it is with busy people!)
But anyhow, there is a link to some of Matt's work. Enjoy!
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