Apocalypse Pompeii (2014) - Worst Film Ever

Apocalypse Pompeii (2014)

So we start with a guy trying to drive his wife and daughter away from some volcano in the Carribbean/latin America as pyroclastic flow rushes through their village. And just as I was about to write down how unrealistic that is, the car explodes, because you can't outrun pyroclastic flow. I guess that's them dead.

Meanwhile, a guy who looks like Alberto Del Rio (man, did this reference from a week ago date badly!) is having a boring meeting in town. And some American tourists are investigating Pompeii when Vesuvius explodes again. Is this the same explosion? The narratives a bit weird here. Also its a Bulgarian Italian film, the audio for it on Horror Channel is ¤¤¤¤ed, and there's no subtitles so I haven't a clue who is who.

How to Kill a Monster

How to Kill a Monster

So, back in the early 1990s, writer RL Stine had finally carved out a niche for himself. He had spent 20 years writing anything and everything under the sun - joke books, colouring books, self help books, interviews, articles, liner sheets, TV scripts, comics - that would pay the bills as he tried to make his way as a writer. He wanted to be Jovial Bob, a MAD magazine style writer, but he struggled to get that successful paying job until he was in his 40s and an editor friend of his wife noted his love of horror and asked the infamous question: "Why not write a horror book?" Twisted was the result, for Scholastic's new young adult range and it quickly became a best seller in its demographic. So he got asked to write another, and another, and soon even his own series of books, Fear Street.

The Sand (2015)

The Sand (2015)

We open with found footage of a night time teen beach party, where is playing loud music, drinking and falling out with each other, usual stuff. This juxtaposes with the early morning beach, which is quiet and empty bar 8 teens who wake up, 4 in a car, 2 in the lifeguard hut, one on a table, one in a barrel. No one else is left. Then someone stands on the sand and dies horribly, and it becomes clear they are the survivors of some horrific attack which is still going on, and that anyone who steps foot on the sand is dead.