You know, ever since I started doing this, RAW has gone from 1 good episode in 6 months to 3 good episodes in 6 weeks. Though how long that jinx can last if they keep firing all their wrestlers is open for debate.
Smackdown 2nd July 2021
ADVERT - If you like this blog, you can follow Michael on Twitter, YouTube, or send some Irn Bru/bill paying funds his way via the donation button.
Edge points out that he had Reigns defeated at WrestleMania before losing (fairly) due to triple threat rules. Good promo, setting the next PPV main event up.
Big E and Nakamura defeated Apollo Crews and The Artist Formerly Known as King Corbin in a tag match which was far more fun than it had any right to be. Corbin stole the show, slowly slinking down to the ring to his old regal music before it was cut off and the ring announcer corrected himself to say it was BARON Corbin, not King Corbin now. Cue some great sad looks from Corbin. Big E looked on fire (rumours of a move to RAW to take on Lashley online) and got the win when Corbin saw footage of his own car being dispossessed on the titentron and was distracted.
"Noooo" cried Pat McAfee on commentary. "That's where he sleeps!" And I cracked up. See, they did this sort of angle years ago with Shawn Michaels and it was utterly po-faced and thus rubbish. This is Sycho Sid levels of overacting, and therefore hilarious.
Because they fired ALL the women talents (Ruby Riott is the most depressing WWE womens firing since Emma at least), Bayley shows up to demand ANOTHER title shot off Bianca Belair. Belair accepts one, as long as it is an I Quit match. So that is set for the Money in the Bank PPV. They had one womens I Quit match before, in 2008 with Melina and Beth Phoenix, and it was a properly great match in an era where the women were relegated to scraps.
Jimmy Uso asks Paul Heyman where Roman Reigns is. He should have asked where a designated driver was, with his 3rd or 4th DUI arrest this week. Disappointing. Jimmy Uso is going to challenge Edge, for Roman. Who isn't here yet.
Kevin Owens beat Sami Zayn in a hellacious 25 minute Last Man Standing match, with both men bringing their A games. This match went back and forth several times, and played back on several previous matches. For example, Zayn nearly won when Kevin Owens fell from the turnbuckle through two tables on the floor, which was the finish to the 2016 Royal Rumble IC title match Owens lost. Only this time, Kevin Owens could get up before the ten count. Both men were giving their all and it was going to take a special moment to end this war, and it arrived in the return of Kevin Owen's ring apron powerbomb. Owens qualifies for the Money in the Bank ladder match after surviving what was his best match in years.
This match has an 8.82 rating on Cagematch after over 100 reviews (a rarity for WWE) and it's easy to see why. By calling back not only to every step of this feud, but so many references to Sami and Kevin's entire WWE run together, this felt like the culmination of something special. This run may have Zayn quoting conspiracy theorists, but its made him look like a cunning and tough guy in the ring, and in facing early demons and overcoming it, they finally made Kevin Owens look like a legit main eventer.
Baron Corbin is backstage looking sad when Rick Boogs shows up and starts making a bunch of "you're poor" jokes at his expense. Even noted pacifist Michael was hoping Corbin would turn round and punch the guy at the end of this segment. Poor sad looking Corbin.
Sonya Deville announces the next Smackdown women into the Money in the Bank match, and is seemingly so desperate not to include Liv Morgan she's rehired Zelina Vega. Vega gives a nice promo and then Liv Morgan shows up to point out the hypocrisy.
Liv Morgan then beat Zelina in a quick match to prove the point.
I mean, a month ago she was the losing part of a jobber tag team, and now she was the internet baying for Liv Morgan to WIN the Money in the Bank match, let alone be in it. So, if this is their intent, this sort of meta booking is working quite well!
Also, Zelina Vega was getting shit on social media for returning to WWE after her pro-unions related sacking. First, note how AEW and others weren't exactly on her side on that one. Secondly, principles and ethics don't pay the bills in a pandemic.
Seth Rollins is angry with Adam Pearce for not giving Rollins the title match at Money in the Bank.
Otis absolutely squashed Angelo Dawkins.
Jimmy Uso goes to the ring to challenge Edge. Edge shows up and goes "welcome to my trap" and then beats the shit out of Jimmy Uso to end Smackdown. It worked better than I make it sound. No Roman Reigns at all, and you are left to wonder if Reigns set up Jimmy, or if Heyman set up Jimmy, or if Jey set up Jimmy, or if Edge did it, or if the designated driver who doesn't exist did. Call an uber mate.
Smackdown was the tale of Sad Corbin and a fantastic Last Man Standing match. As a result, it gets an 8/10.
RAW (What is it good for?) 5th July 2021
The Miz interviews Drew McIntyre. The Miz is injured and I still can't escape him! Drew starts to give us a story about being related to Davy Crockett (smells of WWE scripting) but thankfully Ricochet makes the save by showing up and giving an equally bad promo. Then Riddle shows up, and AJ Styles and Omos. Omos injures Riddle and a stramash happens.
John Morrison beat Ricochet by count out thanks to Miz interference in a match nowhere near as good as it looked on paper.
Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler, Doudrop (sigh) and Eva Marie defeat Asuka, Alexa Bliss, Superhero Nikki Cross and Naomi in an eight woman tag.
Apparently Alexa Bliss is a face. Who knew? Not me! We've got at least 6 genuinely great talents in this match, half of whom are constrained by dire gimmicks. There's also Eva Marie who manages to screw up a basic lock up. Yeah, keep her out of the ring. As mentioned last week, Piper Niven's debut is great in everything but the name. Here she is too much for the entire RAW face roster. Niven and Cross have a far too short interaction. Asuka slums it. Nia Jax gets the win, and then Eva Marie has herself announced as the sole winner. I think Alexa used her voodoo at some point and still lost. Reginald was involved too. Who can you put this many talents into a 15 minute spot and produce bollocks? WWE magic.
Lashley hangs out backstage with his entourage looking like a boss.
Ali defeated Mansoor in a mentor vs rookie match by cheating. This looked like it could be good, only to end in 2 minutes.
Drew McIntyre gave us a long story about how the Loch Ness Monster gave him a tooth to forge into his sword. Look, WWE, I sat through a decade of you giving McIntyre the wrong material and making him the regular recipient of crickets from the fans. If we finally get Drew Mac the legend over the pandemic and then you turn him back into Roman Reigns circa 2015 just before the fans get back in the arenas, we're going to have Paddington Bear stares.
Drew defeated Jinder Mahal by DQ when Veer and Shanky (where do they pick these names?) ran in to interfere. McIntyre is one of the hardest working in-ring performers in America just now, so its telling when even he struggles to get a good match out of Jinder. That this was passable was a miracle akin to some of Bret Harts mid-90s Moses acts.
T-Bar and Mace show up on RAW looking full of anger and piss and vinegar and ready to kick ass.
Lucha House Party defeated T-Bar and Mace clean when after a few minutes of T-Bar beating up folk, Lince Dorado decided to just straight up roll him for the win. Hah. But also, pointless.
Riddle pins AJ Styles when AJ is distracted by the Vikings. Riddle sells injuries so well, its a shame he might be a real life git. Up to the distraction, AJ Styles was enjoying beating up Riddle's injured leg.
So who has "Randy Orton shows up at the PPV and turns heel on Matt Riddle" on their bingo cards now?
Charlotte Flair shows up on crutches and talks about how Rhea Ripley injured her. Then Rhea Ripley shows up on crutches and talks about how Charlotte hurt her but is doing the big old fake injury bit. Then Charlotte drops her crutches to reveal she was faking her injury too and beats up Rhea. This was Vince Russo territory stuff.
Jackson Ryker and R-Truth beat Elias and Cedric Alexander. The 24/7 squad were back so R-Truth ran away leaving Ryker 2 on 1 so Elias walked out on Cedric who got pinned. Awful and rubbish. And why is Ryker/Elias continuing after they had their blow off?
The New Day defeated MVP and Lashley when Kofi pinned MVP with the Trouble in Paradise. Decent but filler.
In fact, this RAW was full of filler. And you don't get much more filler than Elias vs Ryker. Urgh. The women were wasted, the women's title match feud is godawful, the build to the big matches treaded shallow water, and even Drew "Mr Reliable" McIntyre produced a weaker match than normal due to the lousy opposition. This weeks RAW gets a 4/10, eminently missable.
No comments:
Post a Comment