The Crusade (episode 1)
Ah, even after a weaker story there's nothing quite like the Dr Who theme to
get your mood up.
Some men with swords hunt through a forest, with other men stalking them. The
TARDIS lands silently in the middle of this as the tense music grows. Already
this has more jeopardy to it than Web Planet and nothing has happened.
It's Julian Glover! What an actor. He's speaking in iambic pentameter too and
tells us we are in Jaffa and he's taking on Saladin. So its Richard the
Lionheart.
Richard converses with his knights, some of whom expect an ambush.
DES PREAUX: I fear this wood, sire. You are too far from Jaffa and the Saracens
too near.
RICHARD: Have you seen any?
DES PREAUX: No, but I sense them about us. This wood might have been designed
for ambush.
RICHARD: What, des Preaux? Would you see danger in your own shadow?
The TARDIS crew walk out of the TARDIS directly into a Saracen ambush. Luckily
they have Ian on board, who quickly KO's their attacker. Barbara has been
captured, someone else got stabbed, and Ian hides as a knight falls to an arrow
shot.
The King falls and one of his Knights pretends to be him, and so is captured by
a scarred Walter Randall.
DES PREAUX: Saracens, I am the king! I am Malek Ric!
EL AKIR: No. You have no friends to protect you now, Malek Ric.
DES PREAUX: Am I to die as well? If so, dispatch me and have done with it.
EL AKIR: A king at liberty may give commands. A captured one obeys them. Take
him! Find the others and kill them.
He's a nasty one already.
OK, quick elephant in the room check. Yes, Walter Randall and others are
playing Saracens, who were Arab Muslims. Randall was South African, and Bernard
Kay, later to show up, rather famously was pretty British. In 2021, we'd much prefer our ethnic
minority roles were played by their actual actors, but in 1964 they put some
gloss on Bernard Kay face. This story in general tries to make both
sides of a long religious quarrel sympathetic, and the roles are strongly
written, so I'm just pointing out for fairness that this is an element of
production of its time. One which people may struggle with today - although in many ways the script they are acting out is astonishingly fair for 2021 let alone the 1960s.
Right, now back to El Akir being a git.
One of his men find Ian, who engages in contact without sword.
Can I just add this is really dynamically shot. Quick asides and camera shots
and it makes the whole thing feel very real. There's a birds-eye shot of Ian
just avoiding a sword blow.
Ian punches the swordsman, and an injured knight throws a knife into the guys
back saving Ian.
The Doctor quickly realises that they are near Richard and his men.
There's an amusing bit as The Doctor is gleeful about meeting Richard all the
while his knight passes out in front of him from his wounds.
Meanwhile Barbara has been dragged off as a prisoner. This happens to her in
every historical!
The Doctor and Vicki look after the injured man, and after an hour Ian has been
unable to find Barbara.
The Doctor and Vicki go into the city to find clothes.
Barbara and Des Preaux are prisoners of El Akir. Des Preaux immediately shows
he is the good guy knight by being nice to Barbara.
DES PREAUX: I do not know who you are, or how you came to be in the wood
outside Jaffa. Your clothing is strange. It has caused some talk.
BARBARA: Thank you for the cloak. Oh, that's better. Where are we?
DES PREAUX: I am told we are at Ramlah.
BARBARA: Ramlah?
DES PREAUX: The great Sultan's encampment.
BARBARA: Oh, I see. What are we doing here?
DES PREAUX: As for you, I can make no guess. But I am King Richard, Coeur de
Lion, leader of the mighty host, scourge of the infidel.
BARBARA: But I thought Richard had red hair.
DES PREAUX: Had? Still has if the ruse has worked.
Hah. David Whittaker is really enjoying himself writing this one.
Des Preaux expects to be killed for his deception.
DES PREAUX: I have a hopeful heart
and, which is better, a lucky King. And you, who will not say her name.
BARBARA: Barbara.
DES PREAUX: Barbara. I would like to know how one so gentle puts herself among
the swords and arrows. And your garments are a fashion in themselves.
I like how he references her name as though he's clearly never heard it used
before in his life.
I could just quote this script. It sings.
They decide to pretend Barbara is the King's sister.
El Akir shows up to tell them that Saladin orders prisoners be treated with
respect, and demands to know that he has done so - like a proper bully.
El Akir sees money and reward for handing over Barbara to the Sultan. (And in
this moment, she unwittingly creates drama for the rest of her stay in the
1100s.)
The Doctor meets a local haberdasher.
DAHEER: You are very cautious, you traders from Venice.
DOCTOR: I am not a Venetian, neither am I a trader.
DAHEER: Oh, your pardon, my lord. The richness of your cloak is hidden by the
darkness.
DOCTOR: You have some very fine materials here.
DAHEER: The finest on the coast, my lord.
DOCTOR: Yes, that's what they all say.
The Doctor then schmoozes Mr Daheer, while Vicki sneaks in and nicks a bunch of
clothes. A man appears with stolen clothes, which leads an eavesdropping Doctor
to give us all a terrible but very, very funny Aesops:
DOCTOR: Having been stolen once, they can be stolen again, or perhaps borrowed,
shall we say, hmm?
Hahah.
Daheer and Thatcher (Mark?) conspire right in front of people for a bit longer.
The Doctor trip wires the clothes so they fall into the mud. The Doctor then acknowledges
his problems and walks off...
DAHEER: No, my beautiful clothes! Oh, they're ruined, all covered in mud. My
silks and satins. My embroidery from India. Oh, I am beset by devils! Oh!
DOCTOR: Oh, my poor friend, what a misfortune. You've had an accident.
DAHEER: Am I not the most miserable of men.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, you are, but I'm afraid I must leave you with your misfortune.
But I shall return. Yes, I will return and you shall not be the loser by this
business.
DAHEER: Oh please do. Please do, my lord.
DOCTOR: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
DAHEER: For what, my lord?
DOCTOR: Oh, for being here. For being here when you were most needed. Yes, yes.
Goodbye.
DAHEER: Goodbye, my lord.
What is it about the historical that gets the writers into engaged mode?
Daheer knows he's been rumbled but can't prove it.
El Akir talks to Saphadin while Saladin watches hidden by a cloaked door. El
Akir tells Saphadin that he has brought Princess Joanna and the poor chap gets
very excited. In walks Barbara instead, who is surely a more interesting person
than someone who had it off with their brother, depending on which salacious
contemporary source you believe or not.
Saphadin thinks Des Preaux is Richard, but Saladin twigs immediately because he
knows Richard has red hair, but Saphadin knows Barbara is not the Princess.
El Akir gets angry, so Saladin appears to calm things down and throw a
compliment Barbara's way.
SALADIN: Be silent. This is not King Richard.
EL AKIR: Not?
SALADIN: A blacker head of red-gold hair I never saw. You have the better
bargain, brother. She may not be the Princess, but her beauty lights the room.
EL AKIR: My lord, I swear.
SALADIN: I do not wish to hear you. But I will listen to you.
DES PREAUX: I am William des Preaux, and to aid my King's escape, I shouted out
his name and took his identity. This lady, your Highness, has no part in this
matter but in aiding my pretence, and I beg you to look upon her kindly,
whatever fate you have for me.
SALADIN: I salute your chivalry. All is now clear to me except the lady's
presence.
EL AKIR: Great Sultan, this woman can be made to entertain you. I can have her
dance on hot coals, run a gauntlet of sharp tipped swords.
DES PREAUX: No!
EL AKIR: Die for your pleasure.
SALADIN: What do you say to that?
BARBARA: It sounds like the punishment for a fool.
SALADIN: It does. And who here is the most foolish? El Akir, I can devise my
own pleasures. Go with Sir William. Let me hear you have treated him like a
brother. Let him have all the liberty except liberty itself.
So having not properly met Richard yet, we can see that Saladin has integrity
and honour for a war commander, El Akir is dodgy and fire tempered, Sir William
is the sort of friend you could do with in a scrape (and Saladin respects
that), and Saphadin is..
profoundly in love with Joanna
His poem has an intellectual theme
The tenderness with which he adores her
Goes all bouncy in his dreams
No, sorry, wait, that's Adrian Mole. (Shout out the late Ian Dury!)
Barbara's made an enemy for life in El Akir though.
Also the direction is bloody incredible, lots of quick close ups now.
Also, Bernard Kay stiffles a chuckle at the "punishment for a fool"
line. You wouldn't cast him today in this role, but obviously an actor of Bernard Kay's
qualities is going to make a character shine with wit and sympathy.
SALADIN: I cannot dispense life and death lightly. If Sir William is to be
returned, he must make good report of our mercy. Perhaps that is the factor in
your favour.
BARBARA: I don't believe you're as calculating as that.
SALADIN: Then learn more of me. You must serve my purpose or you have no
purpose. Grace my table tonight in more suitable clothes. If your tales beguile
me, you shall stay and entertain.
BARBARA: Like Scheherazade.
SALADIN: Over whose head hung sentence of death.
Well he might OK for a war commander, but he is still a man in charge of an
army in a struggle for life or death.
We finally meet Richard who throws a man down. He's also ¤¤¤¤ed off because his
brother John wants the crown and has plans to extend trade routes into Europe,
peace treaties with France, and the whole Magna Carta thing is just round the
corner. This wont work in Richard's Brexit Britain!
Richard thanks the Doctor for saving his friend, but refuses to help save
Barbara.
Ian offers to help out but is turned down.
IAN: I can bring them both back.
RICHARD: No.
IAN: Why not?
RICHARD: Are you deaf? We do not trade with Saladin today. Not today, nor
tomorrow, nor any day henceforth.
DOCTOR: Our young friend is a woman, sire. Have pity. Let us help her.
VICKI: Please, your Majesty.
RICHARD: Understand this. This woman can rot in one of Saladin's prisons until
her hair turns white before I'll trade with the man that killed my friends!
If it didn't come across, that was amazing.
The Crusade (episode 2)
So, last time Richard the Lionheart was so thankfully for the help of The
Doctor and Ian that he refused to help them find Barbara.
De Tornebeu immediately turns Richard over to their side by playing to his ego.
VICKI: You could turn this into a good story against Saladin.
DE TORNEBU: Look on the brighter side, my lord. A troop of men to capture one
of your knights? Why, he'd need an army by itself and more to take your horse,
or every man he has or more to take you prisoner.
DOCTOR: You could spread this tale by word of mouth and all the world would
know that Saladin fears you.
VICKI: Sire, if you send to him and asked if he'd finished playing his game and
could you have your knight back, it'll make him look such a fool.
RICHARD: There is a jest here, albeit a grim one with our friends dead. But
Saladin must be just as much out of temper over this affair as we are.
DOCTOR: Your messenger might offer to exchange a hundred prisoners for the
knight he holds.
RICHARD: We think we value Sir William highly. We do, but it would not be good
to let Saladin know.
DOCTOR: He might think you undervalue his men. One hundred men to one of yours.
Methinks a fair bargain, sire.
RICHARD: By my father's name, you have wit, old man.
Richard is then distracted by his sister showing up. It's Jean Marsh, one of my
favourite actresses!
Joanna orders De Tornebu to bed rest, and the others are now in Richard's good
books.
Everyone assumes Vicki is a young lad called Victor.
Joanna and her brother chat, and its clear that Richard sees a road map to
peace by marrying off Joanna to her suitor. Only Joanna doesn't seem very keen
on the idea.
Sadly this no doubt incredible bit of acting between Glover and Marsh, two
fantastic actors, is only available in audio.
El Akir demands to have Barbara in revenge, as he's planning to ¤¤¤¤ off back
to his palace ASAP before Saladin gets to punish him for the whole being thick
as pig¤¤¤¤ bit.
LUIGI: Conrad of Tyre has sent an emissary here to make a treaty with your
overlord. I come on his heels. Where there is a treaty there is a chance of
profit. What lies unwanted on my ships at Tyre will find a home in Saladin. And
from him I can buy and stock my ships again.
El Akir works with Luigi to capture Barbara.
Barbara talks to Sheyrah.
SHEYRAH: The whispers are about that you will tell a never-ending story.
She sounds very worried about the possibility! It's Zohra Sehgal (1912-2014),
one of the oldest Dr Who actors to ever live! Sheyrah not only refuses to sell
out Barbara, she's instrumentally in saving her in about 2 minutes. David
Whitaker absolutely refused to paint this in black and white terms, but merely
as a whole bunch of good people separated solely by land claims and religion.
Luigi tries to take Barbara away pretending he is sent by the King. Sheyrah
spots he has dropped a glove and rushes off to get help.
Luigi takes Barbara to El Akir.
Richard the Lionheart, who was dictating a peace treaty, then knights Ian much
to Ian's embarrassment.
RICHARD: Take this gold belt to the Sultan Saladin. Beg him to release Sir
William des Preaux and your companion.
VICKI: Ian, how marvellous!
DOCTOR: You are very gracious, sire.
RICHARD: Do you wonder why I listen to your appeal?
DOCTOR: It is a king's prerogative to make yesterday's deafness today's
keen hearing. (This is a great line!)
RICHARD: No more than that. Although we do not doubt that we are surrounded by
loyal men, yet we fear that war is uppermost in their minds. Between ourselves,
we plan a match between Joanna and Saphadin to bring peace. This is why we
choose to send you rather than those who are closer to us. Bring back Sir
William and your companion, but bring us hope as well. This blood-letting must
stop!
IAN: May I leave at once, sir?
RICHARD: Is it love of peace or is it love of your companion that prompts this
enthusiasm? Well, whatever the reason, may it speed you back to us. I have one
duty to perform before you leave. Give me the sword, boy. You are without rank
or title and while we do not doubt your courage, our emissary shall speak from
a proper position of authority. What is your name?
IAN: Ian Chesterton.
RICHARD: Kneel.
IAN: But I
DOCTOR: Kneel, my boy. Kneel, kneel. Come along, come along.
RICHARD: In the name of God, Saint Michael, and Saint George, we dub you Sir
Ian, Knight of Jaffa. Arise Sir Ian, and be valiant.
IAN: Your majesty.
As I say, the script sings. We have 3 plot points (the peace treaty, the
prisoners in Saladins camp, Richard's trust issues with the Doctor) going on at
once in a funny scene.
Also note Richard immediately twigs Ian has a thing for Barbara, and he's not
even met her.
The Doctor taking great pleasure from Ian's unease at become a Knight is also
very funny.
Daheer is back! He tells the Chamberlain that the Doctor stole clothes from
him.
Luigi meets Saphadin, but his reputation precedes him, and when Sheyrah points
out the missing glove belongs to Luigi, he squeals on El Akir quickly.
The real life Saladin and Richard had a sort of mutual respect for each other.
Saladin's general respect extended through the West and East alike, and he was
famed for his respect for law and his generosity with his money to his enemies
and citizens alike. (And he remains one of the most respected leaders of his
time today.) So his respectful but cunning portrayal here is, from what we
know, more realistic than an enemy of my enemy type performance.
SALADIN: And you, Sir William, know nothing of this affair?
DES PREAUX: Nothing, lord Saladin. I would not encourage a lady to venture out
alone.
SALADIN: I believe you. Nor do I believe the woman would go by herself.
Daheer blames the Doctor for stealing the clothes from the Chamberlain, but the
Doctor manages to entirely outwit both men, and Thatcher who shows up, and not
only gets away scot free, but manages to convince the Chamberlain to pay Daheer
for the clothes that he had stolen from him. Its a masterpiece of manipulation.
That Doctor, eh, what a swine. Hilarious.
Barbara shoves El Akir's horsemen into each other and runs off down a narrow
street.
Ian arrives at Saladin's court, only for Sir William to tell Sir Ian that
Barbara has been captured by El Akir.
DES PREAUX: This Genoese merchant. He explained it away by saying that Barbara
had conceived a passion for El Akir. Saladin and his brother accept the story,
but I do not!
IAN: Well, of course not. It's a lie.
DES PREAUX: They could be as friendly as a hawk and a sparrow.
Look at that screensnap of Ian's reaction to this. Even in telesnaps William
Russell's character work is incredible.
You see, Barbara made an enemy for life of El Akir. But without even meeting
him, El Akir has just made an enemy for life of Ian Chesterton. And I think we
all know by now that only means bad things for bad people.
What he does have are a very particular set of skills, skills he has acquired
over a very long career, skills that make him a nightmare for people like El
Akir. If they let his intended go now, that'll be the end of it.
But of course they wont.
Meanwhile Barbara rushes through the streets looking for safety, followed by
armed soldiers intent to kill.
Suddenly from a doorway someone puts their hand over her mouth to stop her
screaming.
Another great episode with some tense moments, and a good bit of Ian/Doctor
fun. William Hartnell has two big scenes and nails both of them, making you sad
this episode is missing.
The Crusade (episode 3)
Someone caught Barbara! But don't worry, its an ally.
HAROUN: We have a common enemy in El Akir. It makes for uncommon friendship. Come with me.
Ben Daheer continues to grovel for attention from the Doctor. Joanna shows up and Jean Marsh immediately twigs that Vicki is, in fact, a girl.
JOANNA: Why have you deceived us?
DOCTOR: Oh, forgive me, your highness. This is my young ward. Having found ourselves in a hostile country I decided to use this disguise.
JOANNA: But we are not hostile. The open country, yes. Within reach of the merciless Saracen, yes. But here in Jaffa?
VICKI: Please, don't be angry with him. He only did what he thought was best for me.
JOANNA: A pretty advocate. Well, I won't be a partner to this deception, but while you are here you shall be in my company and be given my protection.
Joanna then asks the Doctor to find out what's going on in court r.e. the peace plans and her role in them as:
JOANNA: There's something new in you, yet something older than the sky itself. I sense that I can trust you.
David Whitaker is having a ball.
The Chamberlain is told that Vicki is a girl, and reacts like he's been told the secrets of the universe, highly confused. This allows us a prime Doctor giggle!
Barbara's new friend Haroun takes her to his house to meet his daughter. He says she can stay there till its safe, and when Barbara points out she endangers him, Haroun goes "Oh I'm always in danger, I've told El Akir I'm going to kill him." Which is a great character introduction and a laugh out loud moment.
HAROUN: Yes. That vile and evil man. Last year my house was a fine and happy place. A gentle wife, a son who honoured and obeyed me, and two daughters who adorned whatever place they visited. Then El Akir came to Lydda and imposed his will. He desired my eldest daughter Maimuna, but I refused him.
BARBARA: So he took her?
HAROUN: Yes. When Safiya and I were away, he came and burned my house. My wife and son were put to the sword.
BARBARA: Then why do you stay in Lydda?
HAROUN: I live for one thing alone, the death of El Akir.
Saladin and Saphadin were real historical characters. El Akir however is entirely fictional, and likely the grimmest villain we've met yet in this series.
George Little (Dicker from the ITV Poirot) gives a genuinely sombre performance too, we are being told and not shown his backstory but the emotion with which he gives it makes it mean something. Little is still alive aged 93 and was doing conventions pre-covid.
He goes out to find the escape, and gives Barbara a dagger to kill herself and his own child if El Akirs men surround them. Grim.
The child then asks Barbara what is going on, and she humours them. It becomes clear the girl doesn't know about her own mums murder.
Haroun, sans knife, is immediately beat up by some of El Akirs men.
WARRIOR: I seem to know that face.
GUARD: You cannot, my lord. He's a poor man of the town. He lives in the northern quarter.
WARRIOR: Have you searched there?
GUARD: A little, my lord. A den of thieves and beggars. Not wise to venture into such a place of squalor.
WARRIOR: The runaway can find a host of allies in the northern quarter, each individual as desperate as herself.
And thus Haroun survives because while the death of his family was the worst day in his life, for El Akirs men it was Tuesday.
Julian Glover and William Hartnell talk some court intrigue in iambic pentameter. It's very cod-Shakespeare.
DOCTOR: It is a good scheme, sire, if the princess agrees.
RICHARD: Joanna knows nothing of this matter.
DOCTOR: Will she agree?
RICHARD: You should rather ask how can she refuse? To stem the blood, bind up the wounds and give a host of men lives and futures? Oh, now there's a marriage contract to put sacrifice to shame and make a saint of any woman.
LEICESTER: Sire, with all the strength at my command I urge you, sire, to abandon this pretence of peace.
DOCTOR: Pretence, sir? Here's an opportunity to save the lives of many men and you do naught but turn it down without any kind of thought. What do you think you are doing?
LEICESTER: I speak as a soldier. Why are we here in this foreign land if not to fight? The Devil's horde, Saracen and Turk, posses Jerusalem and we will not wrest it from them with honeyed words.
DOCTOR: With swords, I suppose?
LEICESTER: Aye, with swords and lances, or the axe.
DOCTOR: You stupid butcher! Can you think of nothing else but killing, hmm?
LEICESTER: You're a man for talk, I can see that. You like a table and a ring of men. A parley here, arrangements there, but when you men of eloquence have stunned each other with your words, we, we the soldiers, have to face it out. On some half-started morning while you speakers lie abed, armies settle everything, giving sweat, sinewed bodies, aye, and life itself.
DOCTOR: I admire bravery and loyalty, sir. You have both of these. But, unfortunately you haven't any brain at all. I hate fools.
LEICESTER: A fool can match a coward any day.
RICHARD: Enough of this! You dare to flourish arms before your King? Know this, my lord of Leicester. We will not be advised. We have decided on a pact with Saladin. If that fails, then a trial of arms. But we have set our mind and heart upon this marriage, and it shall go forward.
Whitaker going straight for the war v peace argument, and refuses to let either get the upper hand. (Although the Doctor was on the right side of history here.) But yes, what a great scene with about 20 quotable lines in the same 90 seconds. When some stories struggle with 1 or 2 in 90 minutes!
Saphadin and Saladin get the peace offering from Richard. Saphadin is all "hooray, Joanna, hubba hubba" but Saladin weighs up the pros and cons.
SALADIN: No. The English King writes sincerely. It is so guileless it can only be genuine.
SAPHADIN: Think seriously about it. Alliance with Joanna would give me title to much land. Power over far off countries. A glittering empire, brother!
SALADIN: I did not know you were so ambitious.
...
SALADIN: Do not look so troubled. I will humour you and let this proposition go ahead. But listen to me well. Strategy is worth a hundred lances. Think brother, how does this proposed marriage help us to win our future battles?
SAPHADIN: You do not mean to think of this alliance seriously.
SALADIN: If you can marry with this sister of the English King then do so and I will help you to it. Go, write a letter. Say the idea pleases both of us.
SAPHADIN: But yet you doubt it.
SALADIN: Have England, France and all the rest come here to cheer a man and woman and a love match? No, this is a last appeal for peace from a weary man. So you write your letter and I'll alert the armies. Then on either day, the day of blissful union or the day of awful battle, we will be prepared.
SAPHADIN: You are wise. I was wrong to doubt you.
SALADIN: Hold one hand out in friendship but keep the other on your sword.
SAPHADIN: The knight, Sir Ian of Jaffa, who brought a plea for the release of Sir William.
SALADIN: This sincerity deserves our honest dealings. But caution, yes, caution insists that my armies are ready.
I could just sit here and quote this script. Its easily one of the best the show ever had. Character, intelligence, plot and style in the same spoken scenes. As an editor, this is the sort of script you dream of receiving, let alone an actor or a viewer.
Saladin also allows Ian to go find Barbara as "the brave deserve favours".
El Akir's men attack an unnamed woman off screen. This is grim.
Barbara hides the child, and the guards enter the house. She looks at the dagger, and for a moment, you think "surely not" before Barbara hands the girl the dagger to defend herself. Barbara then leaves the hiding place to get captured to protect the daughter's hiding place. This is grim.
Someone sneaks up on Ian in the desert. There's a fight and Ian is knocked out.
William Russell was on holiday in this episode, clearly.
This is where it gets complex and subtle. Joanna wants to know what's going on off the Doctor but he refuses to tell her for fear of annoying the King, thus annoying Joanna. Leicester then at the corner of the screen tells her, leading her to unleash fury on her brother, who assumes the Doctor told her. So now he's lost favour with both of them.
JOANNA: No. There is a higher authority than yours to which I answer.
RICHARD: I am the King. Where is there any man who has greater power over his subjects?
JOANNA: In Rome. His Holiness the Pope will not allow this marriage of mine to that infidel.
RICHARD: But, Joanna? You defy me with the Pope!
JOANNA: No, you defy the world with your politics! The reason you and all your armies are here is the reason on my side. You are here to fight these dogs, defeat them. Marry me to them and you make a pact with the Devil. Force me to it and I'll turn the world we know into your enemy.
Joanna representing the blinkered religious persuasion that still is an issue with some today, and all the more clever in the story for her seeming so likeable before now. She did seem progressive for her time, but now she shows herself more blinkered and unmoving on the prejudice of her faith than even Richard or Saladin.
The Doctor doesn't help, when Richard asks who told the plan to Joanna, by guiltily going "It wasn't me". What happened to not speaking and watching?
Barbara is dragged before El Akir, who tells her "the only pleasure left for you is death and death is very far away." You don't need the look of horror on Jackie Hill's face to know the implication. Grim, grim stuff. In a world full of shades of grey, and integrity, El Akir is a ¤¤¤¤ing monster. And very real (not just in the past, but there's less than 6 degrees of separation in character between him and a recent US President for example) which makes it even more horrible.
Crusade (episode 4)
So Barbara's been caught by a murderous rapist, Ian's been attacked in a desert, and the Doctors lost the royal protection.
El Akir pays the guards who captured Barbara with gold.
"Cost me my gold too," he says. Gaslighting murderous rapist bastard too.
Its occurred to me El Akir is a bit close to Uday Hussein, who wasn't even a toddler yet at the time this was shown. Shine a glass to human nature and see the ugliness.
A bandit covers Ian in honey, to convince ants to attack him.
Leicester and the Doctor have an argument and Richard walks in on time to see the Doctor never betrayed him.
A shame "Don't look away when I'm talking to you" is lost, that's a properly grumpy righteous Doctor line.
Richard sends the Doctor and Vicki away until cooler heads prevail. He is preparing for war.
The bandit is continuing to taunt Ian.
Barbara tries to calm down the oldest daughter of Haroun, who has been a captured sex slave of El Akir for a year and tried to kill herself. Did I mention this is ¤¤¤¤ing grim?
Leicester orders some soldiers to kill the Doctor anyway.
The bandit is still taunting Ian and Ian tricks him into releasing him, at which point Ian beats the guy up. He then forces his captor to lead him to El Akir.
Barbara tries to lead an escape from the harem, but one of the woman sneaks off to warn El Akir.
IBRAHIM: El Akir will kill you. He's a very, very bad man.
IAN: He's not the only one around here. Why do you say he's a bad man?
IBRAHIM: He has made the rich people so poor so there is no one left to steal from. If you rid the world of him, you will be remembered as a saviour. I shall not betray you.
IAN: Oh, well in that case, perhaps you can do something for me.
IBRAHIM: Anything, my lord, anything, anything.
IAN: Yes, on second thoughts, it might be a little difficult for you. I wonder, do you think you could manage to, er, steal some horses for me?
IBRAHIM: Now you are truly, truly my brother. While you keep El Akir occupied, I will steal the horses from his stables.
IAN: Good.
IBRAHIM: You can always trust Ibrahim.
Now there's a chap who will survive long in a war environment.
El Akir corners Barbara, and goes to kill her but in the nick of time Haroun shows up to stab El Akir in the back. I mean, you can't say he didn't deserve that. Haroun and his daughter are reunited, and then in comes Ian to find Barbara to her delight. Meanwhile, the rest of the sex slaves in the harem turn on Fatima, the woman who tried to betray them, and kill her. Grim. Grim.
Ian finds Ibrahim again who found horses.
"You have gold!" he cries happily, Ian pointing out he acquired it, and Ibrahim goes "Yes, like I got the horses!" And I laughed.
Ian and Barbara ride off to find the Doctor.
IBRAHIM: Really, such talent. He has such an honest face. We could have made a fortune.
HAROUN: We must not stand here dreaming, you half-wit. The soldiers will be around us.
IBRAHIM: This half-wit has stolen all their horses.
HAROUN: They can still use their legs, can't they?
Ibrahim seemed quite amusing from the little he was around, its a shame every single episode Tutte Lemkow was in, every single second of his Doctor Who appearances, is now lost!
Leicester and his men capture the Doctor, but then Ian shows up in his full knights gear, and says he will execute the Doctor. Instead, they all sneak into the TARDIS and take off.
Leicester and men ¤¤¤¤ themselves.
LEICESTER: We will not speak of this. Let this story die here in this wood or we'll be branded idiots, or liars. Poor Sir Ian, brave fellow. Spirited away by fiends. What dreadful anguish and despair he must be suffering now.
Ian then jokes in the TARDIs that if folk keep joking about his knighthood he really will carry out those executions.
And suddenly the TARDIS goes dark, and everyone is motionless in time.
As a script its a joy, as a study of religious differences its more nuanced than stuff today, as a character piece it has about a dozen well written guests, and as Doctor Who its a ripping yarn which refuses to cosy up history, life or human nature.
When I was a kid, I didn't get the surviving episode. Understandably.
But seeing it all know (well 2 surviving episodes and 2 recons), this is a special bit of TV, which should be far better known. Genuinely the best story they've done so far by a considerable distance and I didn't expect that, even know I knew it was good, when I returned to it.
Also, El Akir was a git and I'm glad he got stabbed. And this is your humanist pal talking.
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