Saturday 28 August 2021

The Time Meddler (and S1/S2 Oscars)



The Time Meddler (part 1)


The first Doctor Who episode without William Russell or Jackie Hill. Will we be able to cope?

The Doctor and Vicki talk about how much they'll miss the school teachers, and William Hartnell gives a sigh as if to acknowledge he is the last original left standing. The Doctor is worried Vicki might want to leave too, but she keeps getting distracted and talking about other stuff. Oh that Vicki!

DOCTOR: I just wanted to ask you, are you sure you didn't want to go home too? I didn't give you very much time to consider now, did I? I should hate to think that you're just staying for the sake of an old man.
VICKI: Oh, Doctor! I made my decision. I wanted to stay.
(all quotes come with thanks from the Doctor Who Transcripts Page)

But then, a rattle from beyond the doors. A Dalek got on the ship? Hartnell flickers a worried look.


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The doors opened and the Doctor prepares to attack with his coat... Steven! Peter Purves has stowed away on the TARDIS from the last episode, complete with his toy panda, and then he collapses on the console room floor.

Actual waves crash onto a rocky looking bit of the British coastline, and the TARDIS lands on a cliff side beach. And from above, looking down on the TARDIS arriving, is a Monk who doesn't seem that surprised.

It's Peter Butterworth from the Carry On films! Talking Pictures did a reminiscence with his son about his late parents - both Peter and his wife Janet Brown were acclaimed comic actors. In fact, grim trivia, Janet Brown's death was one of the very first breaking news BBC tweets I saw when I joined Twitter! 

Anyhow, if you've seen this before, or indeed any of the Carry On films (he's particularly good in the climax of Carry On Up The Khyber) then you know that Peter Butterworth was an absolutely fantastic actor and it's already a thrill just seeing him show up on a cliff face looking broody!

And if that was filmed in studio, the soundscape of the sea makes it all fit together really well.

Steven wakes up and immediately thinks he's in an amazing spaceship but refuses to believe it can travel in time.

STEVEN: Time? Look, this ship may have a way-out design, but time machines? That's ridiculous.
VICKI: Doctor? He says the Tardis isn't a time machine.
DOCTOR: Oh, does he now?
VICKI: Tell him.
DOCTOR: I don't see why I should, my child. He'll learn soon enough.
STEVEN: Look, Doctor, I've seen some spaceships in my time, admittedly nothing like this. Well, what does this do?
DOCTOR: That is the dematerialising control and that, over yonder, is the horizontal hold. Up there is the scanner, those are the doors, that is a chair with a panda on it. Sheer poetry, dear boy. Now please stop bothering me.
STEVEN: Look, you gave this ship a name just now, what was it?
VICKI: Tardis, T A R D I S. It stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.
STEVEN: IDBI.
VICKI: What? IDBI?
STEVEN: I D B I.
VICKI: Yes?
STEVEN: It means I Don't Believe It.


That line bolded IS sheer poetry. It sounds difficult but Hartnell reels it off like lyrics with aplomb. He gets in all the funny bits, he references pandas, and yes, he blatantly says "please stop buggering me" in such a way none of the censors notice it. That Billy H! What a cheeky chappy he was.

"Don't call me Doc, " said the Doctor, and gets an "OK Doc...tor" in reply.

Steven is written as a bit of a stick in the mud, but already comes across as quite likeable, in a way other actors with the same material wouldn't.

Also it strikes me that with a recap of Vicki and the Doctor and the TARDIS and a new companion to meet, this works as a jump in spot for the show. As if you'd ever want to skip Ian and Barbara.

A woman picks up wood at a tent, as a man rushes to meet another. He's seen a large box appear on the beach. They set off for the beach, which is a "long way" away.

The Doctor promptly finds a Viking hat. Yes, I know it has horns. Yes. It's a Viking hat in the show, OK.

DOCTOR: Well, there you are, young man. What do you think of that now, eh? A Viking helmet.
STEVEN: Oh, maybe.
DOCTOR: What do you mean, maybe? What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?


Hah!

Steven does admit the ships outside is smaller than the inside.

Peter Butterworth is hiding behind some rocks listening to them.

DOCTOR: The design is completely immaterial, young man. The Tardis is required to land and blend in with its surroundings.
STEVEN: Blend in?
DOCTOR: Yes, quite so. For instance, If we were to land in the middle of the Indian mutiny, well, I'm sure the ship could possibly take on the appearance of a howdah.
STEVEN: How-what?
DOCTOR: A Howdah! A carrier on the back of an elephant.
STEVEN: Oh, I see. Oh, and, and if it landed on the pebbles/
DOCTOR: On the what?
STEVEN: If it landed on the beach against the cliffs, it'd take on the appearance of a large rock?
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes, yes, but you do keep on, don't you.
STEVEN: Do you wonder why I don't believe you? You know, that large rock over there looks exactly like a Police telephone box.
VICKI: That is merely another technical hitch and the Doctor will repair it one day.


Did you know about the carrier on the back of an elephant? Me neither. This is very funny, and the Doctor's increasing frustration at Steven's refusal to believe he has travelled in time makes it funnier.

Then we get a bona fide fluff which Hartnell covers by making it seem perfectly natural.

DOCTOR: Yes, so possibly it might, but I'm not a mountain goat and I prefer walking to it any day, and I hate climbing!

He's become the expert at this sort of filming now. (And his advice to Peter Purves was to carry on as if it was meant to be, and if you can't, swear - then they HAD to do another take!)

The Doctor goes to look for a passage up the cliff. Steven and Vicki immediately go looking for another way up, and the Monk rushes over to the TARDIS and tries to get in. He even listens to the internal humming and gives a creepy smile.

More stock footage of the sea coming in at high tide, perfect for those who suffered through lengthy lockdowns awaiting their second jabs!

The Doctor has got right up the cliff and instead of waiting for anyone, walked the "long way away" to the village. He investigates a hut and is immediately threatened with a weapon.

The Monk returns to a monastery, which looks very run down. Monks begin to chant their Vespers.

The villagers look down from the cliff, but there's nothing on the beach because its high tide.

The Doctor is receiving a nice friendly drink from Edith, who has decided he was a friendly old man and not a Viking.

The Doctor drinks the mead and gulps before going "delightful" and then giggles, which makes Edith giggle and I'm not sure if that was a live moment they just kept in. It is lovely. And yes, its Alethea Charlton in Doctor Who again. She was in An Unearthly Child. Charlton excelled at difficult roles (see her "villainous" turn in Thriller) and was beginning to appear in acclaimed dramas like Upstairs Downstairs and The Lotus Eaters, before dying of Stage IV cancer aged only 44. It's not the first sad story connected to Doctor Who and it wont be the last one, alas. When not watching Doctor Who, I recently, very slowly, made my way through It's A Sin, but, on current rate, we wont reach Remembrance for some time yet...

Anyhow, she was pretty good and she makes Edith quite likeable with very few bits of dialogue. Which just makes her future arc in this story all the worse...

EDITH: I, er, I hope you will forgive a woman's harsh welcome. We do fear strangers but we're very happy to welcome a traveller. Not that we see many in this wild place. I'm sure that when my husband returns, he'll insist that you stay the night. And then you can rejoin your friends in the morning.


The Doctor twigs that King Harold is on the throne so that this must be 1066 and all that. The way he gets this, by quoting the King and when its proven to be an error, muttering about good King Edward and pretending to be a doddery old man, is a skilled bit of writing by Dennis Spooner. And we've seen some Ikea dialogue recently so this really stands out in comparison.

DOCTOR: Oh, thank you, my dear. Thank you, thank you. Er, you know, it's a bit stupid of me but, we are in Northumbria?
EDITH: Yes, of course, we are. Why do you ask?
DOCTOR: Oh, nothing, nothing, I just that I wasn't sure whether I'd crossed the border or not. Yes, it's a bit tedious of me, isn't it? But you must have patience with an old man.
EDITH: Oh, please, sit down and rest before the fire. You must be tired after your journey.


The Doctor then thinks of how much Barbara loved this period of history, but loser, she had to go back home and miss out on this.

Given Barbara's rotten luck in historicals, that might be just as well tbh...

The Doctor listens to the Vespers from the monastery, and then...the track jumps. And the Doctor instantly knows what that means. He gets directions off Edith.

DOCTOR: Oh, you've been very kind, and a great help, yes. I'm sorry, but I must take my leave of you.
EDITH: Are you going to the monastery?
DOCTOR: I most certainly am.


And the Doctor speaks as though he's off to face a mighty foe. The Doctor knows...

Steven and Vicki try to talk to a villager but he runs off in fright. Then Steven finds something on the ground which convinces him they never travelled in time at all: a digital watch!

Vicki does get off a wonderfully cross "Wont you do as you're told for once?" Starting a revolution and then beating some Daleks has certainly matured Vicki's outlook on life.

The Doctor investigates the monastery which is empty, and finds a gramophone record playing the Vespers. He goes to switch it off, and a makeshift grill smashes down trapping him. The Monk shows up looking pleased with himself, and the Doctor shoots him one of William Hartnell's greatest ever pissed off looks.

The Doctor knows who this is and he's ¤¤¤¤ed off.



The Time Meddler (part 2)



The Monk is in a modern kitchen making some fried eggs and toast for the Doctor. How very friendly! He also makes the Doctor some tea, and the Doctor throws it back in his face. Off-screen. This is Billy's week off.

Now I'm just imagining any other villain cooking the Doctor a full English breakfast. "EAT QUICKLY OR YOUR SQUARE SAUSAGE WILL GO COLD" doesn't fit the Emperor Dalek, really.

Meanwhile Vicki and Steven debate traveling to the nearest village, only for the villagers to capture them. Also the chemistry between the two is already like they were regulars for half a series. I like how Steven uses the found digital watch to tell Vicki the time!

The Monk chitchats with Edith, and then when she leaves, he takes out some binoculars to look up and down the coast with.

And then he sees... stock footage of a Viking long ship!

"At last," he says happily and the plot thickens.

The villagers debate Steven and Vicki's fate, before Edith reveals the Doctor was there the night before and Steven wants to go find him.

"Let us go or make up your mind," demands Vicki and the villager leader lets them go.

Despite believing them to be spies 3 minutes ago, Steven and Vicki are given food and allowed to go. Then the rest of the village head off to harvest their crops, leaving Edith to make dinner.

The Vikings climb up the cliff, and look like they've stumbled out of a Monty Python sketch. Then we see their leader, Sven, who is doing a weak impression of Lord Flashheart. Can you do an impression of something that hadn't been invented yet? I know, I know...

Vicki and Steven find the monastery, and this is crackling along at quite a pace.


STEVEN: Good day. We're looking for..
MONK: Indeed, we're all searching for something. Some like myself seek it in the peace and solitude that repose behind these monastery walls...


Well, I laughed.

The Monk then falls for the most basic trap in all of fiction:

STEVEN: Oh, well, er, perhaps you'd keep a lookout for him?
MONK: Oh, I certainly will, yes.
STEVEN: Are you sure you'll remember his description?
MONK: Description? I let me see. Long white hair, a black cloak and rather strange checked trousers.
STEVEN: That's it, you've got it. Fine. Thanks.
MONK: Not at all.
STEVEN: Thanks very much indeed.
MONK: You're very welcome, my son. I'm sorry I couldn't have done more. Good day.
STEVEN: Good day.
VICKI: We didn't give him a description of the Doctor.
STEVEN: I know we didn't. That means he must have seen him, doesn't it?


Rats, he'd have got away with it too if not for those pesky kids!

And so the actual grimmest scene in any Hartnell historical arrives, as Edith, who desperately tries to defend herself with a weapon, is outnumbered by some pillaging Vikings who drag her into her hut and we mercifully cut the scene away...

... before cutting to the villagers returning to the destroyed village to find Edith beaten up, injured and well, you know. It seems like every historical threatened sexual violence on Barbara (and The Crusade had it happen to other characters off screen) but now its actually happened to an onscreen character. And all we have left is Alethea Charlton's gaze, her haunted damaged look lifting out from the camera and into the viewer.

If Dennis Spooner wanted his Vikings to be irredeemable ¤¤¤¤s, well, mission accomplished.

Wulnoth is beside himself with grief and the next scenes are of him tenderly nursing Edith. And on hearing it was Vikings, Michael Miller, who has been nondescript so far, gives the camera an Ian Chesterton style glare, and suddenly this comedy has gone all Death Wish.

They immediately find the Vikings and kill Rapist Gunnar, but then the Vikings injure Eldred. Wulnoth goes to take him to the monastery for help.

Vicki and Steven sneak into the monastery.

Wulnoth asks for help from The Monk who feels forced to give it.

Vicki and Steven find the Doctor's cell and break into it to find...the Doctor is gone!

People say Episode 4 of the Gunfighters is tone jarring, others point to Myth Makers, but how suddenly we went from comedy historical to rape revenge drama in this one (in about 30 seconds flat after two thirds of the episode) is genuinely quite enough to make you reel, even if you are expecting it. And much like forced pregnancies and crushed bloody hands, I don't really think there's a place for it in what is meant to be a children friendly adventure show, sorry.

The Time Meddler (part 3)


The Doctor has gone from his cell!

The Monk reluctantly takes Eldred to a bed to rest.

Vicki decides there must be a secret passage because "there's always one in a castle". Back to childish Vicki. She gets Steven to look for the secret passage, and lo and behold she finds one.

The Monk now discovers the Doctor has escaped. We get some nice Peter Butterworth exasperated acting.

Vicki and Steven find the passage takes them out through the forest.

DOCTOR: Well, from what you've just said, you've saved me quite a journey.
EDITH: To meet your friends, you mean?
DOCTOR: Yes, indeed so. I told them quite specifically to meet me outside the Tar, the pre-arranged place. I was going along to tell them that I'd come to no harm whilst I was making investigations, as we might say. But, well now, now you tell me they came here and they've gone on to the monastery.
EDITH: I can't think how you missed them.
DOCTOR: Oh, it's all perfectly simple. I left through the rear entrance. That reminds me. I really think I ought to be wending my way. It's a good thing I saw the smoke rising from your fire. I'm becoming quite a regular visitor, I think.


The Doctor casually chats away to Edith ignoring her bumps and bruises. Charlton plays the role in furtive glances and an unsteady hand, no longer the giggling conspirator of Episode 1. She mentions the rest of the village are after the Vikings, the Doctor assumes the landing fleet and when told just a small group, he takes one look at Edith, mutters "Yes, I see," and immediately rushes out of the hut to take a deep breath. Which is either bad characterisation or one of the most subtle moments Hartnell gives the role, and given he's such a great actor, I'm tempted to put it down to subtle character moments.

EDITH: You speak of a fleet as though you knew it existed?
DOCTOR: What? What was that? I've already told you, my dear, that I've learned of varied plans from all the places that I've visited before.
EDITH: Plans of a Viking invasion?
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, I'm afraid so.
EDITH: So that's why Harold Godwinson's struck on forming an army. Our men have travelled south already to join it. I thought it was William of Normandy's invasion across the channel, not a Viking invasion he feared.
DOCTOR: The Monk in this situation just can't be a coincidence.
EDITH: The Monk? Did you say the Monk?
DOCTOR: Yes, I must face him. I realise that I've got far short a time than I thought I had. I'm always leaving you in a hurry, I'm afraid, but the matter has some urgency.


The Doctor doesn't need psychic paper, he can win folk over he's on their side with his wits alone. The Doctor and Edith really work together in their short scenes and you can see the character quickly gaining confidence again in his presence. Because that's what the Doctor is, the light that shines in nightmares to provide sanctuary and hope.

This would work better if we weren't just coming off a gratuitous rape scene of course.

Steven and Vicki continue to look for the Doctor. Steven suggests they go back to the monastery but Vicki thinks they should find the Doctor first.

The Monk saves Eldred's life by giving him some penicillin. Which he then covers by claiming its a special type of herb. Peter Butterworth nails his role as a quick thinking confidence man here. He also orders Wulnoth to take his sword outside.

WULNOTH: He'll have to stay here for a while, Father. He's very weak.
MONK: Yes, of course, he's weak. He's lost a lot of blood. I'd like to give him a blood transfusion, but
WULNOTH: Blood trans fu sion?
MONK: My son, all we can do now for Eldred is to wait and pray.


Oops, The Monk keeps giving himself away. Anyhow, Eldred has to stay in the Monastery until he recovers from the whole nearly bleeding to death lark, and that's where the Vikings are planning to meet by the sounds of it.

These plans are all going wrong for The Monk.

Peter Butterworth continues to look fretful. He's great.

Two little Vikings sneak around a forest. Lord Flasheart and the ugly one. They talk about how their army will land soon. That's nice for them. Ugly One wants to make up excuses for ¤¤¤¤ing up their job. He also then suggests they go to the monastery.

The Monk has a Progress Chart hanging on his wall. For real.

It reads:

1. Arrival in Northumbria.
2. Position Atomic Cannon. (Both of these are ticked as completed tasks)
3. Sight Vikings (The Monk now ticks this one off)
4. Light Beacon Fires
5. Destroy Viking Fleet
6. Norman Landing
7. Battle of Hastings
8. Meet King Harold.

And how can you not love a villain who measures his masterplan by a "to do" list? Its quite obvious that The Monk is a time traveller, and has been for some time, but he is such a goofy character. The role Peter Butterworth was born to play.

He moves the chart into an altar which hums. Hmm...


Someone knocks on the front door.

MONK: Oh. Oh, no more visitors. It's getting so that you can't call a monastery your own.

Hahahah.

There's no one there but when he goes back into the monastery, the Doctor points a tree branch into the Monk's back and pretends its a Winchester rifle. (Which is a great example of the Doctor winning without ever holding an actual weapon.) And The Doctor gives him a "move on" look right out of Brighton Rock.

MONK: I thought I'd seen the last of you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Oh, did you now? Well, as it happens, I happen to be a very curious fellow. Yes, very curious. Now then, I have some questions for you and I want them answered. Continue.


Halfway through Episode 3, we finally get a William Hartnell/Peter Butterworth showdown!

Incidentally, it's good to have William Hartnell back.

Vicki and Steven get back to the cliff face but the TARDIS is gone in the high tide!

Then Steven finds something in the bushes...


STEVEN: What's this? Vicki, come and take a look at this.
VICKI: What?
STEVEN: Just come and look! What do you make of that?
VICKI: It's a gun of sorts.
STEVEN: Trained out to sea, hidden by the bushes. Look, in Saxon times, they used swords and bows and arrows, not things like this, didn't they?
VICKI: Yes, you're right.
STEVEN: The Monk, it must be. You still say there's no point in going back to the monastery? Come on.


Goofy old Monk's plot does include mass murder...

DOCTOR: And remember, no more monkery!


Hah.

The door is knocked again, only this time its Vikings. The Doctor is locked back in the cell from the earlier episode. He and his companions are going in circles!

The Monk goes to visit Edith and Wulnuth.

WULNOTH: Oh, we'll help if we can, Father.
MONK: Oh, you can, Wulnoth, you most certainly can. I'd have come here a bit later but it seems I'm going to be rather busy up at the monastery.
WULNOTH: What is it that you want us to do?
MONK: Prepare beacon fires on the cliff tops.
WULNOTH: Beacon fires?
MONK: Oh, don't worry, don't worry, Wulnoth. I'm expecting some building materials for reconstructing the monastery. They're coming by sea and I promised I'd give the ship our exact location.
WULNOTH: Well, when are you expecting the ship? It'll take a little while to prepare a beacon.


Only Edith remembers her conversation with the Doctor and the villagers twig The Monk is a bad guy. Underestimate the intelligence of the locals at your peril. Note that the Doctor accepted them as potentially intelligent as any of his companions, where The Monk thinks they are too thick to upset his plans. If there's a moral about treating your fellow people correctly, the Doctor as usual is on the right side.

Also a note for Wulnuth's bare chest. He looks like The Monk interrupted him during a moment of intimacy.

I don't know this Michael Miller who plays Wulnuth (he died in 1987 aged 65 and his CV is stuff which has been mostly lost now) but he does a good line in knowing looks and quiet thinking between his dialogue. As a result, he bestows the man with a great quiet intelligence.

The Monk has captured a Viking, but then is captured by the Doctor. Meanwhile Vicki and Steven are in the monastery too, but apparently its so large it could take hours to search properly. (It looks like 3 sets to us, but lets take Stevens word for it that this place is huge off screen.)

They find the altar from early, and a power cable leading from it.

And a familiar hum. They follow the cable and find a door in the back of the altar...

Vicki gives a shocked look as they both go through the doors, before we see what she can see...

A very familiar looking set.

All together now for one of the most famous cliffhangers in Doctor Who history...

3

2

1

GO!


"It's a TARDIS! The Monk's got a TARDIS!"


And, that, everyone, is that. Doctor Who has officially changed forever.

Its set up so much throughout its not a huge surprise (or any sort of one) but you can imagine kids who had no idea of the future being bamboozled to hell by this reveal. There's others from the Doctors planet roaming the stars, and here we have one trying actively to change the history of Earth. And so the Doctors line to Barbara in The Aztecs becomes not so much a rule of time travel as the ethics of it.

In one swoop, Dennis Spooner has completely changed the show we were watching. And in doing so, he's probably given it the licence to still be an active show now over 50 years later and with Spooner himself being gone for well over three decades.

The Time Meddler is an odd beast but its importance and power can't be overstated enough. Now, if only they could get Hartnell and Butterworth to chat for more than 20 seconds that'd be grand.



The Time Meddler (part 4)



So The Monk's got a TARDIS.

The Doctor gets the Monk to admit his plans, while Vicki and Steven sneak about his TARDIS and find his journal in which he references his meetings with Leonardo da Vinci and his putting money in a 60s bank account then jumping forward in time to collect the compound interest.

Alas for The Monk, the real life banking system has an anti-time travel policy in place to avoid this exact thing happening...

DOCTOR: So that's it! You're a time meddler! No wonder you wanted to get rid of me. And what are you trying to get up to this time?
MONK: I'm sure you'll approve, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Are you quite mad? You know as well as I do the golden rule about space and time travelling. Never, never interfere with the course of history.
MONK: And who says so? Doctor, it's more fun my way. I can make things happen ahead of their time.


The Monk tries to get The Doctor on his side (and its clear they never met before this, so The Monk cannot be a certain other Time Lord).

DOCTOR: Oh, yes, it's quite a plan. It's quite a plan, yes. I count myself a very fortunate person indeed, to be here, in time to prevent this disgusting exhibition!

Of course, there is one small snag with the Monk's plans. Yes, Harold's English forces were knackered after fighting the Battle of Stamford Bridge, but even if the Vikings (who were already a force on the main land by this point, having won a battle earlier in the year) had been repelled earlier, a much bigger issue faced Harold at Hastings. Namely, that his troops consisted almost entirely of foot soldiers, infantry men. Whereas William's Norman conquerors? Archers and cavalry men. They could have been 100% fit and ready to go and it would still have been a mismatch akin to infantry and cavalry vs machine guns, as what happened 900 years later...

Add that William was likely a far superior military commander (or a wily one) and...

Lord Flashheart finds the Ugly One and unties him. The Vikings go looking for monastery treasures. 

DOCTOR: Now, now, now, don't try and bamboozle me. It so happens that your machine fits into this monastery, but it's sheer luck.
MONK: Luck? Luck? Oh, no, there's no luck about it. I couldn't have picked a better place for my headquarters than this. A deserted monastery right on the coast, gullible peasants who believe everything I say to them. No, Doctor. No, I planned to materialise my ship right on this very spot disguised as a sarcophagus, and here it is.


Hubris chasing The Monk. He really has got into some bad habits.

They enter the TARDIS to meet Vicki and Steven.

Eldred sneaks back to the village to warn the villagers about having seen the Vikings.

Vicki reunites with the Doctor. The Doctor points out the TARDIS will be where he left it.

MONK: I want to improve things.
DOCTOR: Improve things? Improve things, yes, that's good. Very good. Improve what, for instance?
MONK: Well, for instance, Harold, King Harold, I know he'd be a good king. There wouldn't be all those wars in Europe, those claims over France went on for years and years. With peace the people'd be able to better themselves. With a few hints and tips from me they'd be able to have jet airliners by 1320! Shakespeare'd be able to put Hamlet on television.
DOCTOR: He'd do what?
MONK: The play Hamlet on television.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, quite so, yes, of course, I do know the medium.
STEVEN: Were you going to kill the Vikings?
MONK: Yes, yes, I was. You see, if I didn't, then King
DOCTOR: What are we going to do with this fellow? What can we do with this man? He's utterly irresponsible. He wants to destroy the whole pattern of world history.


The Monk has more faith in Harold than history did. The King had risen by politics to the second most powerful spot in England (Earl of Wessex) under Edward the Confessor, and was known for his battles with the Welsh, but  a trip to Normandy in 1064, which might have been to swear loyalty to Edward's chosen successor, William the Bastard*, remains a topic of healthy scholarly debate. However, Edward left the country in such a Game of Thrones power game mess it appears the intrigue with Normandy would have overshadowed Harold's reign for as long as he lived.

*No wonder he changed his name to The Conqueror!

And to think, we had come so close to an 11th century British/Scandinavian Empire under Canute, only all of his heirs died too soon to cement his legacy, leaving one of the biggest power vacuums in UK history.

I think we can all blame Edward the Confessor for this, and his distracted habits. After all:

Edward the Confessor
Slept under the dresser
When that began to pall
He slept in the hall.


You can have 1066 and all that jazz, my knowledge of this period as a kid all came from 4 lines in Clerihew Bentley's biography poem! It was great, but his lines about Humphrey Davy (detested gravy), Sir Christopher Wren (went to dine with some men) and Hannibal (disconcertingly introduced to a cannibal) were ahistorical. The last one was a lie, it turns out Hannibal was poisoned in Turkey in 181BC, which is further away from 1066 than 1066 is from us.

I'll leave you with a Connection. And I'll use Connections presenter James Burke, one of the greats of TV, to make it. Doctor Who is all about interstellar travel in the future. Burke insists this will be possible in the future, but that we are "as far away from that now, as King Canute was from colour TV."

And now we're full circle, I hope that was an interesting diversion and we're back with William Hartnell denouncing murder and interference. See, the Doctor doesn't distract himself sleeping under the dresser!

The Monk runs away and into the Vikings, but he tells them to capture The Doctor and friends.

WULNOTH: The old man who journeyed here spoke of a Viking invasion descending on us. And the Monk asked us to light beacon fires on the clifftops.
EDITH: The old man spoke the truth. He had no reason to lie.
WULNOTH: Fires on the clifftops would guide the ships in to land. Viking ships!
EDITH: We know and respect the monastery as a place of worship. But what of a Viking spy who passes himself off as a monk? Look! Eldred!
ELDRED: The monastery
WULNOTH: What of it? What have you seen?
ELDRED: Vikings. There are Vikings hiding there.
EDITH: Is that enough? Do you need more proof?


Hubris about to strike The Monk.

Edith is great. One of the most intelligent bit parts in the series so far. She deserves far better. Who doesn't want to see an 11th century female Columbo traveling with the Doctor?

The Doctor, Vicki and Steven are prisoners of the Vikings. The Monk gets the Vikings to go light the beacons.

VICKI: It looks as though that Monk's going to get away with it after all.
STEVEN: Yes, but he can't, can he? I don't know much about history but I do know that William the Conqueror did win the Battle of Hastings.
VICKI: Up till now he did. If the Monk changes it, I suppose our memories will change as well.
STEVEN: What about the history books?
VICKI: That's all right. They're not written yet. They'll just write and print the new version.
STEVEN: But that means that the exact minute, the exact second that he does it, every history book, every, well, the whole future of every year and time on Earth will change, just like that and nobody'll know that it has?
VICKI: I suppose that's what I'm trying to say.
STEVEN: Well, there's more to this time travelling than meets the eye.


Now there's a debate the show still doesn't know the answer of even now!

The Monk and the Vikings walk right into Edith and her warriors and suddenly this has turned into the Doctor Who version of I Spit on Your Grave, which is as inappropriate as it sounds.

Edith rescues the Doctor and friends and orders him to have dinner with her and Wulnuth before they continue on their travels. Even the Doctor has to agree.

But first he tinkers with the Monk's TARDIS and leaves him a note.

The Vikings are double crossed by the Monk and are killed (but the censors cut the scene).

The Doctor quietly sabotages a TARDIS.

And then the trio rush back to the TARDIS. Edith is going to be pissed off!

The Monk sneaks back into the monastery to find... the Doctor has removed the dimensional control so the TARDIS of The Monk is stuck the size of an altar.

Back on the beach, the TARDIS dematerialises. And we see the TARDIS crew appear on a starscape to end the second series of the show.

Apart from one scene which is tonally out of shape with the entire show, The Time Meddler introduces a new mythos, a new Dr Who companion and a new style of playing the show, and is on all levels a triumph. Although having given us such a strong female character, I'm afraid the need to have her damaged by sexual abuse is a black mark on the story.




The Doctor Who Oscars
(Season 1)


Yes, we'll be giving out Oscars (well, honorary nods online) to the best of the best from each series of Doctor Who.

And so to the debut series, 1963-1964. Without it, we wouldn't have a show to wax lyrically about. But who were the cream of the crop?


Best Extra
Reg Cranfield, as the nightly policeman who is the first person we ever see in the show, right at the start of An Unearthly Child.

Best Example of Suspension of Disbelief
The TARDIS lands on an alien planet at the end of the first episode. It's the reason we're all here isn't it?

Speaking of those reasons...

Best SFX or Design
Raymond Cusick's Dalek. Such an iconic design. It gave the Doctor his enemy to fight, and a reason to be.

Best Score
nominees
Norman Kay
Tristram Cary
Richard Rodney Bennett
Stanley Myers


And the winner is... Richard Rodney Bennett, for his oppressive and ominous incidental music which lingers over every scene of The Aztecs.

Best Writer

Anthony Coburn
Terry Nation
David Whitaker
John Lucarotti
Peter R Newman
Dennis Spooner


And the winner is... John Lucarotti, who produced 11 episodes of sublime quality.

Best TARDIS Regular

William Hartnell
Jackie Hill
Carol Ann Ford
William Russell


And in a tightly fought contest, the winner is William Hartnell. It is his show from his first appearance, even if the character itself takes a while to mellow.

Best Supporting Actress

Eileen Way, for the Old Woman in An Unearthly Child
Claire Davenport, for her snide Empress in Marco Polo
Fiona Walker, for her double crossing conspirator in The Keys of Marinus


And in a rough year at the Oscars for that story, the winner is Fiona Walker, who improves The Keys of Marinus right when it needs something to keep it going.

Best Supporting Actor

Alan Wheatley, for his doomed Thal leader in The Daleks
Derren Nesbitt, for his villainous Tegana in Marco Polo
Francis de Wolff, for playing a creepy attempted rapist in The Keys of Marinus
Ian Cullen, for playing wonderful try hard warrior Ixta in The Aztecs
John Bailey for his paranoid commander in The Sensorites
Jack Cunningham for his drunken jailor in The Reign of Terror


And in a very strong category, the winner is Ian Cullen, whose multi-faceted performance as the Aztec warrior is a highlight in a very strong story.

Best Actress

Alethea Charlton for playing a cavewoman in An Unearthly Child
Zienia Merton for playing Susan's friend Ping-Cho in Marco Polo
Katherine Schofield for playing Sabetha in The Keys of Marinus
Margot van der Burgh for playing the Doctors love interest in The Aztecs
Ilona Rodgers for her role in The Sensorites


And chalk another up for The Aztecs, as the winner is Margot van der Burgh, who plays Cameca with a tragic knowing, all of her lines could play as threnodic echoes of the fight at the heart of the story. She brings out the best in William Hartnell.

Best Actor
Mark Eden for playing Marco Polo
Philip Bond for playing the Thal who can actually act.
John Ringham for his role as Tlotoxl.
Stephen Dartnell for a convincing breakdown portrayal in The Sensorites.


And the winner is, yes, its another gong for the Aztecs, with John Ringham's superb cod-Richard III winning in this category.

Best Director

Waris Hussein
Christopher Barry
Richard Martin
John Crockett
Mervyn Pinfield


And as much as we would love to give it for that TARDIS exit in The Sensorites alone, this Oscar goes to Waris Hussein, whose careful work in the first ever story stands up nearly 60 years later.

And finally...


Best Story

An Unearthly Child, which opened the series
Marco Polo, a historical epic with high stakes
The Keys of Marinus which wants to be everything
The Aztecs, Richard III in Mexico
The Reign of Terror, a sign of things to come.


And the winner, which you probably expected by now is... The Aztecs. A sublime study of the ethics of interfering, which sides against the outsider, The Aztecs is wonderful TV, then, now and likely in years to come.




The Season 2 Oscars


Best Extra - Brian Proudfoot's role as Tigelinius caps several fun spots.

Best Suspension of Disbelief - The set up of Space Museum episode 1 works so well.

Best SFX or Design - Both in one, Raymond Cusick's fly in Planet of Giants. A wonderful effects shot in a mediocre tale.

Best Score

Dudley Simpson
Francis Chagrin
Tristram Cary


And the winner is... Tristram Cary, who's Dalek music lives on in the soul long after watching.

Best Writer

Louis Marks
Terry Nation
David Whitaker
Dennis Spooner
Glyn Jones


And the winner is... David Whitaker, for crafting two entirely different stories, a ghost story in 2 parts which introduces a character, and the finest historical to date in The Crusade, which dares to take on religious intolerance and show both sides are honourable but blockheaded about change, in scenes which would be astounding for their time now in 2021 let alone the 1960s. Add to that, he did some of it in iambic pentameter too.

Best TARDIS Regular

William Hartnell
William Russell
Jackie Hill
Carol Ann Ford
Maureen O'Brien
Peter Purves


And the winner in an even tougher round is...a tie! William Russell and Jackie Hill! The two school teacher actors come even more into their own in their farewell season, with Ian's everyman Terminator the one companion you don't want to double cross, and Barbara's compassion noted even by Saladin himself. (Of course she also kills a pet sand monster, but nobody's perfect...)

Best Supporting Actress

Rosemary Johnson for playing Hilda in Planet of Giants
Ann Tirard for her role as the Poisoner in The Romans
Zohra Sehgal for her role as a servant woman in The Crusade
Dorothy Rose-Gribble for her role as a doomed slave in The Romans



And the winner is Zohra Sehgal, whose role is small but well played, and vital - if not for her, Barbara would surely be killed.


Best Supporting Actor

Alan Judd for playing doomed wheelchair bound scientist Dortmun in The Dalek Invasion of Earth
Michael Peake for his whispering conspirator Tavius in The Romans
Walter Randall for his evil El Akir in The Crusade
Roger Avon for his peace loving Saphadin in The Crusade


And the winner is...Alan Judd, who gives us a thoughtful portrayal of a man who wants to be an action man but is crippled in his wheelchair, always jealous always thinking, and who finally risks his life, only for the Daleks to wait just long enough to show him his life's work was a failure before extermination.

Best Actress

Ann Davies for Jenny in The Dalek Invasion of Earth
Kay Patrick for the Empress in The Romans
Jean Marsh for Princess Joanna in The Crusades
Alethea Charlton for Edith in The Time Meddler.


And in what might be considered a shock, as she's beaten one of my all time favourite actresses here, the winner is... Alethea Charlton for going through the ringer and convincingly playing one of the smartest guest spot female roles the show has yet produced.

Best Actor

Bernard Kay
Ray Barrett
Derek Francis
Julian Glover
Peter Butterworth


Not a bad actor in this bunch but feel bad for most of them as they can't compete with some career best work from the great and missed Bernard Kay, who plays Tyler and Saladin in two different stories and knocks both out of the park. (Yes, I am aware this is setting me up for a future Talons of Weng-Chiang double standards fall...)

Best Director

Mervyn Pinfield
Richard Martin
Douglas Camfield
Christopher Barry


And the winner is... Mervyn Pinfield for his expert camera work in the first part of The Space Museum. I suspect Douglas Camfield will win a few of these in the future...

And that just leaves...


Best story

Dalek invasion of Earth
The Rescue
The Romans
The Crusade
The Space Museum
The Time Meddler

And the winner is... The Crusade!


This concludes the Season 2 Oscars. We'll return with the Season 3 Oscars once Season 3 has actually been watched. I'm currently mid-way through The Massacre. It's bloody grim...




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