Bond Theme Tunes Countdown reaction

Paul Gill saw this list of James Bond theme tunes on Classic FM and asked for my opinion:

(Spoilers follow)

24 - Die Another Day - Godawful tune for a godawful film. I can see its a brave attempt to do something different (the song) but it's an experiment that fails. More to that, they somehow got "can perform a top 3 hit in her sleep" Madonna and produced the worst single of her career. The song demands the listener to "analyze this", but the interesting stuff happens in the imagery, not the music.

23 - Living Daylights - One I quite liked as a kid, only to find out as an adult not only did most folk hate it, John Barry himself regarded it as the worst Bond theme and it's used to entice singers to this day - "you can't be as bad as Aha!" Aha were quite acceptable in the 80s (hang on, that's a different song) and this one fits the Bond entrance bit better than some others that are clearly rated better by Classic FM.

22 - Another Way to Die - I want to like this one. I loved the White Stripes. It has bits I do like. See Jack White's guitar echoing the familiar Bond theme, or his silky misreading of the early lyrics which gives Quantum of Solace far more depth than it deserves. Unfortunately, the whole duet, for some reason, comes across as an utter styles clash, and what looked great on paper often struggles to remain memorable. Shame.

21 - Thunderball - You'd think this would be higher. It's the archetypal 60s Bond entrance theme. It's sung by Tom Jones. Instant classic? And yet, it feels overshadowed by the songs before and after it. Another one that works better on paper than reality. They turned down Johnny Cash, too. Who does that? Also, I can no longer take this tune seriously after twigging its the one that Weird Al based Spy Hard's theme on.

20 - Writings on the Wall - It fits Spectre to a T. In that its completely forgettable and despite having heard it a few times I couldn't hum you a single beat. The only good bits in that film involve Big Dave Batista, and that includes the music.

19 - Man With The Golden Gun - For such a long time my go to for worst Bond theme ever. It feels out of step, the singer is badly miscast and the lyrics juvenile even by the series standards. And yet people (including Calvin Dyson) keep pushing it as a personal favourite, and it nearly made the top 10 in the ITV fan poll a decade ago, so clearly it's a bit marmite. And while the singing still annoys me, and I feel nearly any other singer could have made it more sympathetic, the instrumental bits are clearly growing on me. Oddly the film ends with a different tempo version which is much better too. No wonder on the official Bond theme CD released in 1997, this tune was on it solely as an instrumental.

18 - All Time High - Ok, so Octopussy is a rather grim "ten seconds to midnight" tale about just avoiding nuclear holocaust. And the theme tune is a sleepy jazzy entrance by Rita Coolidge. So out of place. It just doesn't fit in any way.

17 - Live and Let Die - A stone cold classic song. From the quiet entrance, the build up to the title, and of course, the amazing revving riff. This is what you get when you take a bonafide musical genius with a clear love of the series and let him interpret the song. They've ranked it far too low here. Seemingly because they don't like Paul McCartney's post-Beatles experimentation stuff? But if that has highs and lows because Macca always wanted to take the creative path he saw for himself, then his merger of Wings and Bond is clearly one of the absolute high points.

16 - You Know My Name. I was astounded when I heard the guy from Soundgarden had done a Bond theme. Bond is an international smash hit, and Soundgarden felt like that secret band a few people loved but were underlooked next to Nirvana or Pearl Jam, so to see Chris Cornell jump from Audioslave to the Bond theme tune was a mindblowing event. And then, to see him bloody nail it was a punch the air moment. Cornell was such an inventive, reflective songwriter, and his tragic demise is still a heavy blow. This song is great. As a song, it's great, good flow with an arena slamming chorus. And as a Bond theme, it does what you want. The best Bond themes don't just mesh with the surroundings. They get the viewer excited and pumped up for the show to follow. Who doesn't listen to Carly Simon's confident song and think "this film is going to be amazing"? The combination of Cornell's blasting tune and the most inventive entrance credits in some time blow away all the cobwebs from Die Another Day and leave the viewer in a good mood to enjoy Casino Royale.

PS Classic FM says the song is too slow. I'm not sure what song they are listening to, tbqhwy.

15 - Tomorrow Never Dies - Quite underrated actually. The blasting opening fits a Bond theme and what follows, and if Sheryl Crow can't quite hit the heights the song wants, it's still far more memorable than it's been given a chance to be.

14 - Skyfall - The only good Bond theme in the last 13 years. Adele's song basically gives away the entire plot of the film, but in such a mystical and metaphorical way that people didn't really notice at the time. It's doom-laden and funerealesque and in that, gives an element of foreboding to the film which really aides it. This is the anti-Coolidge, a song which compliments and sets up the stories themes so they lurk in your subconscious even before they play on screen. Like Bernard Hermann in Psycho, even.

13 - From Russia with Love - A decent instrumental but easily forgettable for me. I'm not really the target audience.

12 - No Time To Die - Far too early to really judge, or remember. It can't be worse than Sam Smith?

11 - We Have All The Time in the World - A cheat. Louis Armstrong is one of the greatest performers who ever lived, imo, and this is one of his final triumphant bows on stage before his death. But it's a song in Bond. It's not the official theme. For OHMSS that's the rather nifty instrumental by John Barry. And this having cake/eating it strategy fails here, because if we do count Armstrong, despite him not being in the entrance credits, then he would have to be number one!

10 - Moonraker. The weakest Shirley Bassey tune, but it is still Shirley Bassey. Shes the only one who seems to get how grim Drax's actual plan is.

9 - A View to a Kill - Love it. So very 80s, so very in your face, but it just fits as a Bond theme. Duran Duran, even if I prefer their past-prime 90s stuff, are what I'd call a guilty pleasure if I believed in that phrase. It stands out from the crowd.

8 - World is Not Enough - One I quite like. I feel like Manson and Bond go together well.

7 - Licence to Kill - I just saw another Bond channel call this the worst song of all time last night. Gladys Knight apparently quipped she'd be more suited for "Licence to sit down and talk about our feelings instead", but, even if its Bond by numbers, it's still a pounding theme sung by one of the greats. And clearly this list rates songs sung by legends to be better than songs not sung by them.

6 - For Your Eyes Only - annoying song which gets in your head and sticks there, but in my my mind, the least successful bit of FYEO.

5 - Goldfinger - One of the standard bearers. Bassey belts out this classic, which skips round the plot by summing up the villain's character and giving him some nice depth. It's loud, it's in your face, and it's a large part of the reason Bond is still around, imo.

4 - Nobody Does It Better - The undisputed best Bond theme of all time in my book. It leads from the teaser into the credits with aplomb. At the time, Golden Gun was so badly received, the entire series was allegedly under threat. So naturally they produce the most confident opening sequence and tune they ever managed, as if to go "crisis? what crisis?". It's the sweet cherry of success on the top of the greatest film the series ever managed to achieve.

3 - GoldenEye - Nostalgia centre for me. I can't possibly be unbiased. Tina Turner belts out a song which was huge in my childhood and is largely responsible for many of my generation becoming Bond fans. That game, and this song.

2 - You Only Live Twice - The quintessential Bond "classic" but like the film it inhabits, a lot of set pieces and no overall flow, which dated somewhat badly. Like the volcano lair, the best bits stay with you long after and try to make you forget the longueurs (or the racism, but that's not so much the song, unless you consider China Girl by Bowie to be racist too of course...)

1 - Diamonds Are Forever - What was for ages the underrated step-twin to Goldfinger, this is a purrringly lovely song which, much like the film its linked to, is well up for reappraisal. Listen to those lyrics though, its bloody filthy!

In short, Cornell and Macca are far too low, and I'd put them in the top 5, at the expense of YOLT and probably GoldenEye. I'd take Moonraker and FYEO out of the top ten, keep GoldenEye there, and add Skyfall.