The Lost World: Jurassic Park II (1997)

The Lost World: Jurassic Park II (1997)

So studio execs and Steven Spielberg really liked Jurassic Park. Specifically, they liked the money it gave them. So they got Michael Crichton to write a swift sequel, and then signed the rights to make the film version, in which they jettisoned every single thing in that Crichton book. And to be fair, good decision, that book is Exhibit A in Writer Doesn’t Give A ¤¤¤¤ About Book He Was Contracted To Write. Instead, they nab a few good scenes from the first book they didn’t use in the first film, nick from stuff like The Wizard of Oz and Alien, nab the finish of King Kong, and add in far more dinosaurs. This may sound cynical, but it worked, and it sort of works, and is the lesson Jurassic Park III didn’t learn in the slightest.

Even if Jurassic Park is all about less is more, and this is all about “here’s ALL the dinosaurs at once”. It’s a less intelligent film, but also highly enjoyable when you are 10.

When we meet Julianne Moore on the island of dinosaurs, her first action is to go and pet a baby Stegosaur and then nearly get killed by its parents. It’s a miracle she lasted 3 weeks on this island, her character comes across as the type to go:

Baby Raptor do do do do

Baby Raptor do do do do

Baby Raptor do do do do

Oops, I’m dead!

Although it’s actually Nick who goes “aww poor little baby T.Rex puppy with a broken leg” and sets the chain in motions that led to Poor Guy Eddie getting chomped in two.

True story actually: you know how the camera cuts away from Bob Peck’s gory death? Well, actually, the producers loved Peck so much they wanted him to show up in this film, as the man who survived a Raptor attack. Alas, Bob Peck’s real life terminal cancer (he died in 1999) nobbled that one, so his role got replaced by the game hunter played by Pete Postlethwaite. A man who was also to die young of cancer. The role was more cursed than opening an Egyptian tomb.

Actually this thing is packed with great cast too. Dieter, the git mercenary famously picked off by Compsognathus scavengers, is played by Peter Stormare of Fargo and Prison Break fame. And note how in the scene “there’s no reason for them to fear man”, it’s Dieter who cattle prods the nearby Compy, setting in motion his own death. Harvey Jason keeps swatting away at non-existent mosquitos to give the impression of this warm, inhospitable climate. Richard Schiff (Toby from West Wing) is Poor Guy Eddie. The problem is that in Jurassic Park we had set groups of characters, so we could focus on Hammond, Arnold and Malcolm, or Laura Dern and Bob Peck, or Sam Neill and the kids. Here there are so many characters, no one gets a chance to breath, even after half of them turn into half price Big Macs for friendly carnivores.

As they worked with the great Jack Horner on set, I am also amused by the crap palaeontologist character based on Robert Bakker, who is munched through a waterfall. And you know who else was amused by it? Bakker himself! “See, told you T.Rex was a hunter!” Those two are the Drinker-Cope and Othniel Marsh of the 20th Century, only they had better health care so neither died of cystitis looking for fossils.

HE does die like an idiot, and I speak as someone scared of snakes. Dieter dies because he thinks the Compys are no threat. So many characters grab the Lawyer Idiot Ball here. Look at the kid, Kelly. First sign of a T.Rex? Climbs right up above the Trees in that protective environment out of the reach of T.Rexs. That’s the sort of pragmatic approach you don’t often see in film, and is rewarded by survival.

The T.Rex itself waits until the 50 minute mark to show up, with a nice “back of the shot” reveal. There is an argument that the T.Rex is the hero of the Jurassic Park franchise. It saves the day in the first film, however inadvertently. It is the thing trying to save its child from ruthless exploitation in the second film. It tries to stop the Spinosaur in III and does stop the Super Duper Raptor in World. It does have a habit of munching humans who get near, but then, so do tigers.

And while the film is diminishing returns, it packs in many great scenes: the cracking glass, the Raptors in the cornfield, poor old Ed’s heroic sacrifice. The T.Rex running through San Diego is a guilty pleasure.

Naturally when this film came out I was ten, so I had grown out o… nah I was still dino-mad. This time, I had Empire mag, Barry Norman on TV, Sky updates, the official preview book. I knew the date of release, I knew the day we were going to see it, and I Knew the people I was going to see it with: Dad, Cat (my wee sister), and my Granda Bob.

And then, with a week to official cinema visit, disaster hit. Bob wound up in hospital, as his angina (worse after surviving 4 heart attacks in 1992) had set off complications with his asthma medication. It was looking increasingly unlikely he’d be able to make the cinema, and I was very upset.

The cinema showing was on the Friday (end of the school week), and Bob got out of hospital, very weak on the Wednesday evening. And promptly told my dad he was going to make it to the cinema as he was looking forward to it!

So Friday we headed to Knightswood to pick him up, with Dad warning me not to get too excited as Bob had just been in cardiology and would be weaker than usual. So I calm down my “dinosaurs dinosaurs dinosaurs” talk as we get to his gate. Only for a knock on the window. My grandfather, walking stick by his side. His first words? “DINOSAURS!” I don’t know who was more excited.

And we both enjoyed the film immensely. “That looked like they had a lot of fun making it” he said sagely. We used to go to the cinema a lot to watch big blockbusters, and at the time, I didn’t realise this would be one of the last. As his health slowly declined over the next few years, days out became limited to family events down to Rothesay, and the cinema became increasingly less a thing.

But one exciting Friday in 1997 this didn’t seem to matter.

Not as good as Jurassic Park, for sure.

But lots of fun in of itself, for sure.