Columbo Episodes Ranked (Part 3)

 Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

We are now into the top thirty-five, of all the Columbo episodes. It may surprise some to realise that we have multiple episodes of the nineties era still to go. It's not that the new series era was terrible, it's just that the gems are sometimes disguised by the duds and the weaker stories around them. However, we've got rid of all of those now, so what's left must be great TV.

In the B class, we have the stories which come recommended as enjoyable slices of TV sleuthing, but which just miss the top for small reasons. Maybe there was one loophole too many in the plot, or something about the production didn't quite work. For many, it's just that simple case that there are better stories, but as the top fifteen are among the greatest exhibits of American TV yet made, being just below that is no crime. 

Indeed, I think some of these are quite underrated by fans.

And so, while trying to avoid being the enemy of succinct for a moment, on we go:

Colombo Episodes Ranked (Part 2)

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

 Last time we saw the least good. This time, let's move up to the C list of Columbo. Those episodes which don't work, for a variety of reasons, but have enough in them to be enjoyable watches if they are on TV. Some might be quite bad, but amusing. Some might fail on a basic plot principle. Some might just miscast badly a crucial role. 

Sorry, George Wendt, I know all of those refer to your episode but I'm not picking on you. Honest.

Some even might have gone in Part 1 if not for one thing which raises them from the bottom rank.

Without further waffle, the flawed diamonds in the rough of Columbo!

Columbo Episodes Ranked (Part 1)

 Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

The mistake was not watching all sixty-nine episodes of Columbo, because that provided many hours of great TV watching. And also Peter Falk saying the word "panties" seven times in a row, but you can't have it all.

The mistake was mentioning this to friends who asked how I would rank those episodes.

Never ask an obsessive to produce a list based on quality. Case in point, I was asked about this in February!

Since then, I did what a responsible research addicted non-writer would do. I rewatched all sixty-nine episodes. I marvelled over Jack Cassidy. I sobbed with Janet Leigh. I tried desperately to derive greatness from that bloody Commodore. And, as I watched each episode, I wrote some quick fresh notes on each story. 

From those notes, I gave you this list. Succinct being my enemy, I've had to cut this into a few parts. Also, much like Doctor Who, the biggest crime for me in TV is being dull. This might explain in advance why some stories from the seventies which are worthy but snooze worthy rank lower than some of the flawed but entertaining car crashes. 

So without further preamble, here we go!

Hallowe'en Watches (2022)

THE SHALLOWS (2016)

Blake Lively goes on the holiday of a lifetime, only to find herself stranded on a small island near the shore with a giant great white shark stalking her. She is a champion level surfer. Surfing by a beach in Mexico, Nancy flirts with some local surfers. We find out she’s taking time out to cope with the death of her mum, and she has a younger sister (back in Texas) who idolises her.


And then the Jaws music doesn’t play.

Dead of Night (1945)

DEAD OF NIGHT (1945)

A man drives, nervously, to a cottage house in the countryside. He’s never visited this part of the country before but is suffering a severe dose of déjà vu. Especially as he is introduced to the other guests, complete strangers, and seems to recognise them.

Our man Walter mentions that he’s seen all of these people before in recurring dreams. As a result of this, he is convinced that something terrible is going to happen in this house. The other guests try to take his mind off it with tales of premonitions they’d suffered in their lives.