I do this every year, but haven't posted the results on the blog for a number of years now. The position changes marked below are in line with my rankings from last year, which I posted on Gallifrey Base, and which were the first time I'd included the five extra stories not included in Collected Ghost Stories. I do like the idea, given the publication date of The Experiment, that, no sooner had M.R. James written in that collection that he didn't see himself writing any new tales, than he was immediately writing another.
Without any further preamble, here are the ghost stories of M.R. James, ranked from least good to best...
Oh and fragments (Mr Humphreys, Game of Bear, etc) aren't counted. It's the 30 stories in Collected plus Experiment, Malice, Vignette, Fenstanton Witch and Speaker Lenthal's Tomb, the latter of which I feel is complete enough to make a judgement. All opinions are of course solely mine, so apologies if I slag off your favourite ghost story...
35. Two Doctors (no change)
I'm afraid this rather dreary tale about two doctors in Islington is yet to interest me after twenty five years and counting. Even the greats can't knock it out of the park every single time.
34. The Diary of Mr Poynter (no change)
This one does have fans, such as my wife! I've never been able to get into this tale of the hairy hands, however.
33. After Dark in the Playing Fields (no change)
The bottom three remain the bottom three! It's a weird fantasy tale but not the sort of stuff I tend to turn to M.R. James for. The title, and little bits within, promise so much more. I can easily imagine an audience for which this is standout without any of those silly ghosts James ruins his fantasy tales by including!
32. The Malice of Inanimate Objects (no change)
This late era James story is amusing but slight. Again, its one which Mandy prefers to me.
31. There Was a Man Dwelt by a Churchyard (no change)
A story which annoys me because its so slight and yet all the elements are there for a really great James tale. The hanging device of Shakespeare doesn't quite work for me, and the Jamesian Wallop (TM, A Podcast to the Curious) happens too soon to have much tangible effect, for me. That said, I do like the set up, even if it is rushed, and this story was once bottom of the list for me, so it is slowly moving upwards!
30. Rats (down 3)
The scarecrow figure is incredible. Every single year since I turned twenty, I have re-read Rats, hoping this will be the year it all clicks and becomes amazing. Sadly it's becoming clear its a story which promises much but under delivers. I really want to love this story but it feels like it was an extra 2-3 pages away from being good.
29. An Evening's Entertainment (down 6)
One of James's most gruesome tales, but sorry, it's really badly let down by its narrative device.
28. A Neighbour's Landmark (plus one)
Something forgettable lurks in the woods.
27. Speaker Lenthal's Tomb (plus 3)
About as high as you can rank a tale that suffers from two defects. One, it is clearly very early James, so he is yet to gain his quirks and phrasing that marks his best work, that mastery of the prose. Second, Rosemary Pardoe dug this one out of the archives, because she is a legend, and we have all bar one page of the story. And that one missing page is the bloody ghost reveal! I think from the set up, of moving a grave, and the final lines, you can get the gist of the tale. As it is, its like the genesis of the type of story James would return to again and again, from An Episode of Cathedral History to A Warning to the Curious.
26. The Fenstanton Witch (minus 4)
The sort of story James would write far better later in his life, this tale of two students who go to visit a witch has some nice moments, such as the funeral procession. The pallbearers from Hell is an early example of the sort of imagery and moments our writer would revel in.
25. The Rose Garden (down 1)
I like that this story has an actual strong female lead, but the whole plot is rather James by Numbers for me.
24. The Mezzotint (plus 4)
Improving slightly after a dire posting last year, which may have been a reaction to the TV version! By now, every horror writer has done their own version that we call them Mezzotint stories, like The Road Virus Heads North (Stephen King) or Amber Print (Basil Copper). Actually, Copper's story is incredible, and shows the imagination that can be done with the concept. However, James take is rather sedate, and all the actual horror happened a century earlier. In adapting it for TV, Mark Gatiss made all the horror take place in the actual time of the story, and that didn't work any better. It's just one of those slight early ideas stories.
23. The Uncommon Prayerbook (down 2)
This was not marked down because there was a snake ghost in it honest. There is a degree of what could be called anti-semitic portrayal of the villain however. Sadly. The narrator finds an uncommon edition of the Prayerbook and a con man steals it. Narrator gets the police involved to try and get the book back but as this is a James story that obviously proves unnecessary...
22. Number 13 (down 4)
Overshadowed considerably by a certain other Scandinavian horror of James, this disappearing and reappearing haunted room tale has a lot of atmosphere in places, but doesn't compare to the best of James's work.
21. Vignette (plus 4)
The last story that James ever wrote and it was published once after his death in 1936. Concerns a ghost story from his childhood which might be an attempt for James to discuss something which he actually experienced. Either way, this is lovely, threnodic, nostalgic and chilling and links youth to old age. He knew he was dying as he wrote this. It's a fine last stand from a great. I suspect this one gets better the older you get.
20. The Tractate Middoth (down 3)
This used to be one of my favourite ghost stories. Dr Rant's parasitic presence is felt off screen (until it isn't off screen), and the story following the one person who stumbles into the case trying to help others is a neat touch. Indeed, the ghost itself seems to take on the aspect of a life style coach for Garrett, who earns a promotion, a big house and a wife by the end of the story. Eldred's nastiness and fear are nicely portrayed too. It's just not as good as other stories.
19. The Treasure of Abbot Thomas (down 6)
With the cod Latin, the in jokes and the code breaking, you can sense James had a lot of fun writing this one. When the ghost finally shows up, its a corker. Unfortunately, we take a lot of time to get going in this one.
18. The Haunted Doll's House (up 8!)
Last year I wrote that this is a tale which improves with rereads. Wow, an eight place jump into the top twenty! It owes this to the late, great David Collings, whose reading of the story I listened to a few months ago, and which managed to bring much of this underappreciated tale's horror to life. It's the Mezzotint, but while James apologizes in the Collected Tales for this, I think it is vastly superior to the former tale. By focusing on the murder, the ghost and the aftermath, we get several chilling scenes, and the two tiny coffins are among the most hideous images in his entire collection. As a fan, I've been sleeping on this one.
17. The Story of a Disappearance and an Appearance (plus 2)
Also known as the one I can never get in the Sporcle quizzes because my brain is convinced it is "and a reappearance". This is the David Lynch (keep well, old chap, incidentally) version of an M.R. James story, complete with a missing family member, weird dream sequences, and things not quite sorting themselves out at the end! The Punch and Judy men would fit in well in Twin Peaks.
Incidentally, the weird dream sequences are exactly why others don't rate this story!
16. Martin's Close (plus 4)
It's slowly winning me over! A rich man has it off with a local girl then murders her. He'd get away with it if not for her ghost. Loosely based on the Red Barn Murders, there's a degree of inspiration from Dickens Trial for Murder too. Referencing Judge Jeffrey's as his hero might give a glance into James's views but then reappraisals of the hanging judge have been around for centuries. Certainly his sympathy isn't with our landowning son here. A long time favourite of James academic Rosemary Pardoe, this one is gaining its own reappraisal though I feel midway is roughly where it belongs.
15. Mr Humphreys and His Inheritance (plus 1)
I've been an adult for twenty years now, and as a poor working class type, I have yet to inherit a large mansion and money from a hitherto unknown ancient relative. It happens all the time in fiction! Mr Humphreys inherits a large house, a library, a spooky maze and a ghost. He prefers the first two. I love the character of Lady Wardrop (another rare strong female in a James story) and the maze is a fun and creepy setting. However, the ghost itself is largely busy elsewhere and this one runs off atmosphere.
I presume Mr John Humphreys comes to a better end here than he would in the abandoned tale Mr Humphreys (starring the same man, which is great but James gave up after 5000 words). Which is a shame, as the "person dressed in black" walking towards the main character in an empty field is one of James finest scares and he never used it in a finished tale!
14. The Experiment (plus 1)
Revenge from beyond the grave, people desperately trying to run away from an ever present ghostly vengeance, this is what we come to James for. A bit too short to be classic, but its a nice 1931 return to form after his dip in the late 1920s.
13. A School Story (plus 1)
I know its slight. I know we see its greatest horror by word of mouth from someone who isn't even the narrator. I do love the "if you don't come to me, I'll come to you" motif, however, and the idea of school kids trying to understand the James tropes. Also, no matter what, this was the first M.R. James story I ever read, aged ten, so I will always be nostalgic for it.
12. An Episode of Cathedral History (down 2)
Speaker Lenthal's Tomb to the max, this story of a vampiric like creature released from a tomb has a lot going for it.
11. The Stalls of Barchester Cathedral (plus 1)
Just missing out on the top ten, this "dear diary" vengeance tale (which I nearly wrote was epistolary, which is of course A Story of a Disappearance instead...) has some magnificent moments, my favourites include the most menacing "happy new year" and "there was no cat". The ghost that takes it revenge on Archdeacon Haynes takes it time, as the mental toll on him is more of the punishment than the death. Still, most of us would be fine in the stalls of Barchester Cathedral, as we haven't killed our predecessor!
10. Lost Hearts (down 5)
A big drop for the creepy children classic, which suggests I am starting to err towards the suggestive and reflective James stories over this less subtle, but no less effective, fare. The child ghosts with their missing hearts and long fingernails are fantastic fictional creatures, and you can see why it had such an effect on readers. In fact, James got several letters from children, asking to confirm that the story wasn't true! I hold by the fact that the ghost kids are creepy through what they are instead of what they do. Still, in this world of frankly crap adults, Stephen needed someone to look after him!
9. Canon Alberic's Scrapbook (no change)
An academic on a bike tour of France finds strange goings on in a sleepy village near the Pyrenees. Screaming out for a Gatiss adaptation, this one. Shadowy figures in a church, a demonic curse going back centuries, a stuffed alligator. What more can you want?
8. The Ash Tree (no change)
An excellent horror story of a curse stretching down generations, with some horrific creatures, some sympathetic characters, and warnings from the Bible itself. There is a direct correlation between the witch hunts in the opening and those dying by the end, innocents tarnished by the overreactions of others. Horror classic.
7. Count Magnus (down 1)
Love it. Love it. Love it. Ignore that "down 1", from here on in its a matter of rearranging the classics. When we finally saw a TV version of this one, I was happy to see it was as good as I'd hoped. Poor Wraxall seems doomed from the moment he appears in Vastergotlund, and the local environment (largely unchanged today from when James wrote about it) is steeped in atmosphere on the page. The malignant presence of Count Magnus is visible long before he appears. Add in a futile chase, worried locals and the Count himself and this is glorious.
6. Casting the Runes (down 2)
Night of the Demon! Another classic.
I am particularly interested in the famous scene on the tram, when an advert warns Dunning of the death of John Harrington. This is followed by the leaflet man in the empty street who hands him a notice about Harrington's death then disappears. These interest me because they happen BEFORE the runes curse is placed on Dunning, which makes me wonder if there are multiple forces at work in this story, good and bad, with the former actively trying to warn Dunning of his impending fate. This route is rarely discussed, and missing from the adaptations, but I like how, even after a century, I'm not sure we have all the answers in this tale.
5. The Residence at Whitminster (plus 2)
This one is so good, but its a slow burner detailing decades and generations. Some of the best scares are referred to us second hand. Two kids play with forces they can't understand and are hunted by demonic dogs. Nearly a century later, the haunting still effects the locals. A withered heart makes an ugly thin ghost. Haunted by the loss of so many friends during the first world war, James wrote this haunting tale of loss. It invoked terror and sympathy in equal doses. It's the forgotten master piece, long awaiting appraisal.
4. Wailing Well (down 1)
A very simple but effective tale. Some scouts on a camping trip. They are warned never to go into that one field. Someone does. For the little we see the creatures inside that cursed field, they linger long in the memory. Those scenes, as they track down their prey, and the teachers try to intervene, are wonderfully creepy. Crying out for an adaptation, BBC.
3. Oh Whistle and I'll Come To You, My Lad (plus 8)
Yes, last year I was being an iconoclastic sod. Clearly a classic of the genre. "Said a character not in this story" is one of my favourite James jokes. This is the closest James got to his great contemporary Algernon Blackwood, whose achievement in literature was to make location as much a character as our characters. Whistle is the closest James got to The Willows, and here we see our man haunted not so much by a ghost but by nature itself.
2. A View from a Hill (no change)
The doomed man's final walk is told to us second hand, but is none the less creepy for it. Looking through the eyes of a dead man. Nice characters, a good degree of doom laden atmosphere, and some nice nastiness.
1. A Warning to the Curious (no change)
I think everyone knew this was coming, as its second only to A.M. Burrage's excellent One Who Saw as my favourite ghost story. Undisputed best of M.R. James. Two retired men on holiday are chilling when a third younger man escaping a Jamesian ghost story appears. He's uncovered one of the three crowns of England and it's protector wants it back. It has some power over your eyes. With beach side scenery, some of the most famous gotcha moments in horror, and a likeable victim, this is the standard bearer. It's also the best adaptation so far. Why? Because it's unbeatable.
Originally this tale was going to be set in 1917 (it is in the first drafts) but James scrubbed that out and went more oblique as to the exact time. In fact, the war took a terrible personal toll on James, as he buried countless friends and worse, students of his. In the intro to The Thin Ghost, written in 1920, he precedes a collection of melancholy and somewhat depressed tales by noting:
"perhaps also some one's Christmas may be the cheerfuller for a storybook which, I think, only once mentions the war."
But then he was a man who didn't do death very well. He never recovered from his best friends death in 1904, and he was in fact a surrogate dad/grandpa for the mans daughter for the rest of his life. Even when it came time to write other stories later in the 1920s (AWTTC first appeared in the London Mercury in August 1925), he was looking back with a sense of loss at what had once been - places and people. And so the actual ghost story of A Warning to the Curious happened "some time ago" - long enough for the narrators friend to have long since died of old age, in fact. It fits the nostalgic lens of the story, and the sense of the buried past, and how time buries all.
The Lawrence Gordon Clark adaptation cuts down the narrator and Long's roles, and makes them both Clive Swift. Which is a shame, because in the story you get to see from others the effect the haunting has on Paxton, and how desperately he tries to make amends. In a surprisingly post-modern take on the ghost story for someone who'd hate that term, in a Warning to the Curious, we actually have two old academics who stumble into someone who is in the middle of an M.R. James story! So when we start, most of the deed is already done and it's already about setting what went wrong right and trying to protect poor young Paxton. (Peter Vaughan in the BBC version is far too old for the role, but, you know, it's Peter Vaughan, we can let that one slip! Although this does change Paxtons motivation from young glory* to being more of an aging amateur who wants to prove he can do as well as the experts. More of the chip on the shoulder. It also means that in the TV version, Paxton specifically is hunting down the crown, whereas in the story, he stumbles across clues to it looking up something up else and that titular curiosity is the downfall of him...)
*As I have noted elsewhere, you can reverse engineer Paxton’s rough age. The story takes place a while ago, but our narrator is still alive. His friend Long is, err, long gone. Paxton was considerably younger than both of them. So he had to be in his early 30s at the oldest. Also, youthful naivety plays a key role in his downfall, he has the book knowledge but not the experience!
Although I would point out here that detection was all the rage in the early 1900s and it’s not Paxton’s fault that he didn’t realise he was in an M.R. James tale!
““It began when I was first prospecting, and put me off again and again. There was always somebody—a man—standing by one of the firs. This was in daylight, you know. He was never in front of me. I always saw him with the tail of my eye on the left or the right, and he was never there when I looked straight for him. I would lie down for quite a long time and take careful observations, and make sure there was no one, and then when I got up and began prospecting again, there he was. And he began to give me hints, besides; for wherever I put that prayerbook—short of locking it up, which I did at last—when I came back to my room it was always out on my table open at the flyleaf where the names are, and one of my razors across it to keep it open. I’m sure he just can’t open my bag, or something more would have happened. You see, he’s light and weak, but all the same I daren’t face him. "
I’m never sure if the spirit is testing Paxton to see if he’ll avoid hunting the crown, or not.
The actual Martello Tower still stands in Aldeburgh right where James says it does. Sorry, Seaburgh, of course. Ahem. The actual inn/hotel is long gone, but there is a lot of Warning to the Curious you can actually go and tourist spot even today. Which is cool, in my book.
Where the story works on TV is the soundscape, which never ceases, and how every day objects build into the sense of unease. Also, Agar himself is fantastic – we don’t get the “lungless laugh” of course, ,but we do get his running speedily and unnaturally down the beach after poor old Paxton. This story is bulletproof, you could tell it by semaphore and it’d pack a chill, but Lawrence Gordon Clark knows how to make the most out of his material.
Mind you, what a hypocrite Monty was. He wrote once that his good friend EF Benson “sometimes overstepped the mark” regarding how much horror you show in a ghost story, presumably referencing Negotium Perambulans and the fantastic Room in the Tower. Having said that, he goes and writes Paxton's mouth of sand and stones here. What an image. James subtly leads us into some of the more horrific scenes in horror in my book – the inverse chase shown here for example, or elsewhere, the ghost kids in Lost Hearts, the hounds of hell themselves in the massively underrated Residence at Whitminster, or the tram incident in Casting the Runes.
But, yes, everyone loves A Warning to the Curious in whichever form it appears, because it remains one of the most successful ghost stories ever written. I mean, the story is only 10 pages long, and look how many films, stories and crit it’s inspired! More than some doorstoppers!
No comments:
Post a Comment