Monday, 8 April 2019

WrestleMania 35 (Crib Notes)

Since I've been asked by more than one person if WrestleMania this week is the best point to jump onboard the pro-wrestling bandwagon, here are my crib notes for outsiders on All You Need To Know (And Some Other Stuff Just For Fun). 
 

Pre-show

1.       Cruiserweight Title Match
-          Not much to say here tbh. Buddy Murphy won the title in Australia. Tony Nese is a local.

2.       Womens Battle Royal
-          Asuka should be doing so much more than this.


3.       Tag Title Match
-          Revival are 80s throwbacks, very Arn Anderson.
-          Curt Hawkins is on a massive winning streak, so is teaming with former IC Champ and his childhood buddy Zack Ryder to try and reverse that. 


4.       Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
-          2 SNL comedians in this
-          Braun Strowman is a monster they don’t write for properly 6 days out of 7.


Sunday, 27 January 2019

Royal Rumble 2019 predictions

Rumble 2019 predictions


Pre-show
1.       Buddy Murphy retains
2.       Rusev retains

PPV
1.       Asuka retains when Ronda Rousey interferes to get Becky counted out.
2.       Ronda retains by submission
3.       Brock retains in a close match
4.       Womens rumble
5.       Bryan beats AJ In a great match
6.       The tag title goes a stupd length of time to placate Shane’s ego. He wins, naturally.
7.       Mens Rumble


Womens Rumble
 

Womens
#1 is Ember Moon and #2 is Kairi Sane of NXT. #3 is Alicia Fox. Moon and Sane team up to beat her up, and Moon eliminates Fox. #4 is Lana. Eclipse, insane Elbow, Lana is eliminated. #5 is Zelina Vega and #6 is Dana Brooke. #7 is Lacey Evans, who eliminates Dana Brooke. #8 is Mandy Rose, cue the needless perving on commentary. #9 is Mickie James, as the ring starts to fill up. #10 is the 2018 Mae Young winner, Toni Storm. 

#11 is Nikki Cross. #12 is Charlotte, who eliminates Mandy Rose. #13 is Tamina, in and out. Charlotte eliminates Mickie James. #14 is Lvi Morgan, #15 is Naomi and Toni Storm eliminates Liv.  #16 is Sarah Logan and #17 is Ruby Riott. Lacey Evans is eliminated.
#18 is Lita. #19 is Peyton and #20 Is billie Kay. Iconics beat down Lita. #’21 is Trish for the save. Trish and Lita eliminate Billie Kay, before Lita and Peyton eliminate each other. #22 is Nia Jax, who eliminates Trish to huge boos.

#23 is Becky Lynch, who eliminates the Riott Squad and Naomi and folk go nuts. #24 is Baylet, and Nia Jax eliminates Kairi Sane to huge boos. #25 Is Sasha Banks and all 4 Horsewomen eliminate Nia Jax. #26 is Natalya, who high fives Ronda who is sitting next to Asuka ala 2018 rumble. #27 is Sonya Deville. #28 is Alexa Bliss.

#29 is NXT Womens Champ Shayna Baszler, flanked by Duke and Shafir.  Baszler has a show down with Deville, MMA to MMA and easily tosses Sonya. Baszler eliminates Natalya,, who look accusingly at Ronda, who feigns innocence. Bazler eliminates Nikki Cross and Toni Storm, as Cross nearly had Storm out and wasn’t paying attention to Baszler, coz crazy. Baszler eliminates Alexa Bliiss. Horsewomen v Horsewomen as Shafir and Duke enter the ring. Brawl. Baszler, Duke and Shafir manage to eliminate Bayley and Sasha.

#30 is Carmella and R-Truth, at the least appropriate time for a time break dance off. But they have one, and then R-Truth goes to take on Shayna, and Carmella reminds him this is the womens rumble, but Charlotte tosses Carmella to the floor. R-Truth goes “Where’s the Strowman? My bad!” before Becky eliminates him over the top rope to the floor. The MMA Horsewomen face down Becky, Charlotte and Ember, only for Ronda Rousey to rush up to the apron and eliminate Charlotte. Rousey takes out Charlotte with a chair. In ring, 3 (only 1 of whom is legal) on 2 is too much for Ember and Becky despite spirited comebacks. Baszler goes to eliminate Becky, and all 3 turn to Ember Moon. Moon got Bassler on the apron, but Duke and Shafir chopblock her, and Baszler suplexes her to the floor. As they eliminate Ember Moon, Becky skins the cat back  into the ring and rushes the 3 MMA women with a big clothesline that, in the collision, sends Baszler to the floor. Becky wins despite Ronda’s cliques best effort.
 

After this, we have a backstage segment where Vince McMahon tells R-Truth he's used up his Rumble spot, and will be replaced.




Mens Rumble


#1 is Jeff Hardy, #2 is Andrade. Some close escapes. #3 is Jinder Mahal, out to meh. #4 is Apollo Crews, who gets to do some cool stuff. Apollo Crews knocks Andrade to the floor with some move. #5 is Killain Dain of Sanity. He wrecks peoples shit up. Dain eliminates Jinder Mahal (#1) and Apollo Crews (#2) with ease, and beats the shit out of Jeff Hardy. #6 is Broken Matt, who rushes out to defend his brother. Lots of crowd chants for Delete. #7 is Seth Rollins, who takes down the monster Dain. Andrade takes on Rollins. #8 is Ricochet from NXT, who gets some spotlight moves as the crowd lose their shit. #9 is Big E, who does his usual stuff. Ring filling up. #10 is Rey. Naturally, he and Andrade have a show down. Dain randomly kills folk, lots of 2 or 3 people trying to eliminate him to no reward.


#11 is Drew McIntyre who quickly eliminates Jeff Hardy (#3). #12 is Titus O’Neill, who probably slips and the commentators try to sell this as hilarious. #13 is AJ Styles, as Drew eliminates Titus (#4). AJ floors Dain with the Forearm, and convinces everyone to team up, even Drew, as 8 men eliminate the monster Killain Dain (#5). #14 is Lashley, flanked by Lio Rush, and Lashley does some power moves, then elimininates Broken Matt (#6).  #15 is Mustafa Ali and #16 is Kofi Kingston. #17  is Rusev as Lashley and Drew eliminate Big E (#7).  #18 is Randy Orton. RKOs to all. Andrade eliminates Rey (#8) to big boos. #19 is NXT’s Velveteen Dream. Big cheers. #20 is Elias. After his strumming to the ring, his first move is to eliminate Ricochet (#9).

#21 is Xavier Woods. Kofi has his annual escape, feck if I can think of one. #22 is Braun Strowman. He beats people up. #23 is Baron Corbin and he is in, and immediately out again via Braun (#10). Braun eliminates Xavier Woods (#11). Braun eliminates Andrade (#12). #24 is Nakamura who quickly elimininates Velveteen Dream  (#13) who was distracted standing up to Braun. Braun eliminates Kof (#14) and Orton (#15).  #25 is Dean Ambrose, who eliminates Rusev (#16), before Rollins gets in his face. #26 is Samoa Joe,  who pretends he is relevant by eliminating Elias (#17).Then he and Drew manage to put Braun through the announce table. #27 is the returning Kevin Owens, who makes a beeline for Lashley, and the two eliminate each other (#18/#19) and brawl on the outside. #28 is a notably knackered Balor. #29 is Kurt Angle. Angle Slams to all. Folk wonder who the replacement #30 is, and its Shawn Michaels.

Sweet Chin Music to all. Showdown with Angle, shades of 2005, and Michaels eliminates Angle (#20). But as he turns round, AJ Styles clotheslines him out of the match (#21). Joe eliminates Nakamura and Balor who were trying to eliminate each other (#22/#23) before Mustafa Ali eliminates Joe in a huge shock (#24). Ali doesn’t have long to enjoy this as Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds and tosses him out (#25). Then Shawn Michaels returns to eliminate AJ Styles (#26) and beat him down outside the ring – yep, Shawn is repeating 2005 only as what he once fought. 

Final Four. Braun rises from the dead to kick ass, but when he has Ambrose on the ropes, a sudden Claymore kick knocks him to the floor. Drew eliminates Braun (#27). Ambrose and Drew beat up Rollins, but Rollins is able to reverse a move and eliminate his friend/nemesis Ambrose (#28). Down to Drew and Rollins. Drew gets Rollins in the ropes. Rushes for the Claymore, but Rollins ducks and manages to flip Drew over his head to the floor. 

Seth Rollins wins.




Thursday, 29 November 2018

Scream

Things have a habit of becoming part of the pop culture. Even if they were intended to shock or surprise at the time. What is the secret of Soylent Green? What is the planet of the apes? Who was the third man? And so on.

Despite that, the following comments will be in spoilers, on the off chance someone somewhere reads this thread and hasn't watched, nor knows anything of

Scream (1996)


In which case, did I say it was dated? Very much so, but it still holds up better than many modern horrors, and has several unsettling moments, so go check it out.

The Faculty

The Faculty (1998)

contains spoilers, so you know, proceed with caution.



Carrie (1976)

Carrie (1976)






contains spoilers

The Wicker Man/The Langoliers/The Howling/Urban Legend

The Wicker Man







contains spoilers


It's hard to talk about a film talked to death, and one which has melted into pop culture, so in brief: excellent. Although, I think the horror is the wrong way round.
 

It (1990)

It (1990)

I don't think there's too many spoilers here but just in case...


Witness in the Dark/The Last Showing/Hatchet



Witness in the Dark (1959)

Wolf Rilla is better known these days for his Village of the Damned, but this short true horror from a year before is mostly forgotten, despite having a recent renaissance on Talking Pictures. In a way, it predates Wait until Dark and Hush, in that we are presented with a blind person and a murderer.

Masque of the Red Death/Phantasm


Masque of the Red Death (1964)

The short story is brilliant, one of Poe's best, but I did come into this wondering how Roger Corman would stretch it to 90 minutes.


Turbulence

TURBULENCE


(contains spoilers)


Cabin in the Woods

CABIN IN THE WOODS


(contains big spoilers)